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I wish I could take that outlook. I don't know why, but there's just certain parts of myself that I hate. I look wrong, you know? If I had the money I'd probably get surgery to fix it to be honest.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting around crying and mourning my looks. I just have a tenuous relationship with reflective surfaces. And never go shirtless. Even at home.

We all have parts of ourselves we hate. In the end, that may be what defines us. How we react to it.

I'm super excited right now because a new season of Doctor Who has started!

Aw man, it's not out here until Monday evening. =C

Aw man, it's not out here until Monday evening. =C

Oh noes..... But I assure you that it was good!


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Aw man, it's not out here until Monday evening. =C

Oh noes..... But I assure you that it was good!

=(
At least it's already Sunday for me. Speaking of which:

Happy Day of Chocolate

I don't have any bunnies, but birds are a good substitute.

Aw man, it's not out here until Monday evening. =C

Oh noes..... But I assure you that it was good!

=(
At least it's already Sunday for me. Speaking of which:

Happy Day of Chocolate

I don't have any bunnies, but birds are a good substitute.

KIWIS!!!!!!!!!!   NEW ZEALAND YASSSSSS


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Yeah, it's less a secret and more a daily exercise.  Walk up to a stranger each day and say hi.  Then move up to having small conversations, and just keep upping it when you feel comfortable enough in the area you're at (aka if you're comfortable enough with small talk with strangers, move up to something like talking about current events).  You don't have to be a master of conversation...you'll get to around that area as you talk to more people. Going out to a social events such as dancing, karaoke, or even just going to the bar are excellent ways to push yourself out of your normal area. But that's the goal - to push yourself to be social outside of your normal routine.  Heck, if you're nervous, take a friend with you (and the upside to making new friends is that they're normally down for things like that).  The more you do it, the less of an exercise and a push it'll be because you'll start to enjoy it.  You may even make a few friends along the way, which is always nice.

That's why I like where I work, because I have to intereract with people for 8-9 hours a day, and it's helped me to basically break out of that shell and toss it away for good.  Sure, I still internalize a lot of things, and I doubt that'll ever change.  But I'm also comfortable voicing my opinions, good or bad, with people now...whereas I used to basically keep everything to myself.

But you'd do great out there.   You just have to want to break the routine and come out of your shell.  You're already pushing yourself physically, so you need to push yourself mentally as well if you want to meet people offline that are worth your time.

The real secret is not caring.  It's not about going out there, throwing your heart on the line and hoping you don't get rejected.  It's just about going out and talking to people, and getting comfortable with that part of yourself.   If someone doesn't want to talk to you, then move to someone else.  There's millions of people out there, not just that one person.  Don't pour your soul/put your heart out there until they've shown that they want to be worth your time.

Oh, I have a hard time with not caring...usually I think it's a great strength of mine, but I admit sometimes it's a weakness, too. lol, you make it sound pretty easy, but I imagine I the first few rejections would be devastating to me...as it is, even if I'm chatting with someone on Facebook and they don't seem very into the discussion it makes me nervous. And those are people I was fairly close with at one time, at least. >_>

I don't really get out much besides work...there honestly just isn't all that much to do where I live, but I guess I can at least try to do better at work...it seems like having to interact with people at work has done well for you.

So I think I'm slowly moving towards a more gender fluid expression/identity. The more I practice with my makeup and buy myself these cute dresses and wigs, the more I feel comfortable. I've started wearing these killer high heels at work and just the way I feel when I'm wearing them is liberating in and of itself. I don't know if I feel comfortable expressing myself any more than that in public yet but it just feels so good to be able to indulge myself in things that I used to feel so insecure wearing and being in.

I've been doing some worldbuilding lately. I tell you what, I think I'm starting to really get somewhere.
I got four words for you heathens: Anglo-Canadian Ultranationalist Terrorists

I've been doing some worldbuilding lately. I tell you what, I think I'm starting to really get somewhere.
I got four words for you heathens: Anglo-Canadian Ultranationalist Terrorists

As a Canadian I've never felt bad for the Quebecois until now.

So that guy I'd talked about earlier that I had a crush on called today. He called asking me for money. Just ten bucks he says, I'll give you a hug for it he says, No I say, I'll give you a kiss he says, No I say, ef you he screams(either at me or whoever it was with him) and hangs up.

That was ten minutes ago. He said he wanted that ten bucks for cigarettes because he hadn't had one in two days. I refused.


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So that guy I'd talked about earlier that I had a crush on called today. He called asking me for money. Just ten bucks he says, I'll give you a hug for it he says, No I say, I'll give you a kiss he says, No I say, ef you he screams(either at me or whoever it was with him) and hangs up.

That was ten minutes ago. He said he wanted that ten bucks for cigarettes because he hadn't had one in two days. I refused.


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Sounds like that's a crush you may want to delete.

So this guy keeps asking me if I like him or if I'd wanna date him, and then will proceed to talk about how depressed he is, how he 'no longer feels anything', and about the times he's tried to kill himself. I'm at the point where I wanna just bang my head on a desk, because though I feel bad for him and want to help, I'm not a therapist and can't magically fix him, which he seems to think I can by the way he talks to me. I don't even want to talk to him anymore because I've got too much baggage right now with my friends and the fact that I keep going back and forth between doctors (and my grades are slipping oops), but then I'll feel guilty for not talking to him, but at the same time I can't keep trying to help him when he's low key making me feel bad for not dating him.
I dunno what to do anymore v.v

And he's like trying to say I'm the confusing one or something when I've literally told him I'm not going to date right now?? And then he says he's not 'pushing me', but then he says he's really depressed and needs someone 'funny' in his life right now like me?? Like how is that not pushing?? Like you're low key saying you're going to do something unless I date you?? Like I don't even know what to do.