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Z Visa?

So I just need to put this down somewhere as it's probably going to end up as a milestone in my life, one way or another.

I hate taking classes. I'm struggling so much with them, not doing badly, but not wanting to do them, not wanting to be on campus, Not wanting to go back to my dorm, not wanting to do anything, that my therapist actually is fully on board with me dropping this semester and trying something new. There's still a lot of work to do in a short time if I'm to change paths like this, but I think the end result will be worth it.

Today was a major turning point for me. I'd been considering this for a while, and I really want to thank Gally and Shadow for sticking with me through all my flopping around. To have a professional essentially tell you that there is no reason to stay once you tie up loose ends and accept that you likely won't see her again is shockingly liberating. And validating.

So later this week, I'll be meeting with my current boss and depending on how that goes, I'll probably be leaving traditional school for the foreseeable future. I'll transfer my credits into something new, probably firefighting? There will be new work to do, but I think hands on training is more my style anyway.

In no way am I giving up. I am, however, giving in. For a long time I have struggled with depression, and I've been repeating the mantra of "It's not that I don't want to live, It's that I don't want to live this life." So I'm going to take the first step. And yes, it's going to be hard, but hopefully once this is all over, all the tears, all the debating, all the sleepless late nights will have been worth it. Hopefully I'll find something that makes me happy, and I'll be living for me and not who I've been told I should be. I can't do that anymore.

Anyway. I also want to thank this community for giving me the greatest gift anyone could. When I came to this community two years ago, I was lost. I was scarred because I keep putting myself in really dumb positions. The name Silverfish came out of trying to leave a server I royally screwed up on without anyone really knowing or caring. From that name, I became something new, someone different. You adopted me into your family, and Silverfish became more than an escape name. It grew and changed. I thought it was stupid at first, laughed when I gave people my discord, but now it's just...me. It became who I am. I find myself adopting the mantle of Silv in my life more and more. And while my first name will always hold a special place in my heart, both good and bad, I am happy that my second family has given me a name I can be proud of.

And that's what's on my mind. I'll update you as things occur.

@Ruguo: You remind me of Seroim a few years back. If I remember correctly, he decided to take a break pursuing law cause he was similarly unhappy...after some months of exploring, he decided to pursue electrical work instead and he was much happier the last time he said anything about it. Sometimes you realize the life you were pursuing isn't the life that's going to make you happy, and unfortunately most people don't change because they've already invested so much of themselves in it...they don't want to feel like it was a waste, plus it's more of an unknown path. Going in another direction is a brave thing to do, and I hope that like him it puts you in a happier place.

Z Visa?

I think it's a work visa for China.

Z Visa?

I think it's a work visa for China.

Correct.  It's a type of Visa that would allow me to legally work in China.

Which I successfully picked up, and now I can do so! Which means on February 3rd, I'll be leaving to work in China for at least a year.  I'm going to try investing in a VPN so that I can still be here, though.

Right, so, it turns out my "unread topics" page stretches back to early September. I've been neglecting this place for a whiiiile. I got fifteen pages of unread topics, and I have time and spoons to spend, so once I work through them (over the course of who knows how many days) I'll try to get back to being active on the forums.

*stoppers nose, jumps into the figurative well of posts.

In honor of your return I have liked all your three question AMA comments.

In honor of your return I have liked all your three question AMA comments.

Yessss, increase my karma score. Just according to keikaku*.

*I have no idea what this is from.

Captain Hook is underrated.  He's a pirate with a love of fairies.  Which makes him my equal... except he has a mustache over me.  And a healthy fear of crocodiles... which I lack.

Captain Hook is underrated.  He's a pirate with a love of fairies.  Which makes him my equal... except he has a mustache over me.  And a healthy fear of crocodiles... which I lack.

A love of fairies? Last I recall from multiple properties he had no issues kidnapping and backstabbing Tinkerbell to get to Peter Pan...and in one movie he even turns to a fairy and says "I don't believe in fairies" which is automatic death for them.

A love of fairies? Last I recall from multiple properties he had no issues kidnapping and backstabbing Tinkerbell to get to Peter Pan...and in one movie he even turns to a fairy and says "I don't believe in fairies" which is automatic death for them.

Maybe not the healthiest love in the world, and spurned love often results in acts of violence.

A love of fairies? Last I recall from multiple properties he had no issues kidnapping and backstabbing Tinkerbell to get to Peter Pan...and in one movie he even turns to a fairy and says "I don't believe in fairies" which is automatic death for them.

Maybe not the healthiest love in the world, and spurned love often results in acts of violence.

I'm confused as to when he ever had genuine love for the fairies.  Even in one of his origin stories it proved to all be a front so he could get access to the pixie dust.  He's always only had his own agenda and never really had much love for others.

I'm confused as to when he ever had genuine love for the fairies.  Even in one of his origin stories it proved to all be a front so he could get access to the pixie dust.  He's always only had his own agenda and never really had much love for others.

Only one of his origin stories? I scarcely consider that to be solid evidence.  As for the last bit, well yeah, pirates like meself tend to be a mild self-absorbed.  That be why our wardrobes are so magnificent. 
In any event, a fictional character is whoever we make them out to be.  There are dozens of remakes and retellings of both paper and films, portraying characters in a new light. #janebond. I think Captain Hook is a good man, a good pirate, possibly called Bootstrap Hook when he was just a crew member.  Over the years his love for fairies took some dark turns, but that doesn't make it unsalvageable. 

sidenote- watch Once Upon a Time- Captain Hook is a hero, at least compared to Peter Pan.

I'm confused as to when he ever had genuine love for the fairies.  Even in one of his origin stories it proved to all be a front so he could get access to the pixie dust.  He's always only had his own agenda and never really had much love for others.

Only one of his origin stories? I scarcely consider that to be solid evidence.  As for the last bit, well yeah, pirates like meself tend to be a mild self-absorbed.  That be why our wardrobes are so magnificent. 
In any event, a fictional character is whoever we make them out to be.  There are dozens of remakes and retellings of both paper and films, portraying characters in a new light. #janebond. I think Captain Hook is a good man, a good pirate, possibly called Bootstrap Hook when he was just a crew member.  Over the years his love for fairies took some dark turns, but that doesn't make it unsalvageable. 

sidenote- watch Once Upon a Time- Captain Hook is a hero, at least compared to Peter Pan.

Once Upon a Time is hardly canonical though in any sense.

If the original creator of characters had the final say on everything, fan fiction wouldn't be as popular as it is.  Just by existing Once Upon a Time changes the way characters are perceived. 

I wonder if this is a similar procession as the development of pagan religions.  Like how the greeks inspired the romans and whatnot.

I think you underestimate the effect of perception on what a character is.