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I've officially lost 10 pounds as of today. I'm feeling good about this.

Congratulations! I'm assuming that is a lot?

Just checked a converter. 4.5 kilos, that is a lot :]

These free batteries from Harbor Freight suck.

What, you expect amazing for free?

Anxiety got the best of me yesterday.

It's just that everything that involves dealing with other people irl is a hassle...you can't just trust the people you have to do business with to do what they're supposed to do and to do it right. You have to be on the lookout for them to not do it, not do it right, or outright try to screw you over, cause if something goes wrong you'll be the one left to suffer the consequences, not them. I don't know if that's just what society has come to these days, or if it's just living in the shithole of southern West Virginia, but it seems like I have to go through some hassle or stress with just about everything I have to do. It doesn't help that I have virtually no support network irl, just my mom who goes through the same hassle and stress as I go through it.

In any case, it was just too much for me on Thursday...I couldn't shake the feeling of being overwhelmed and feeling like I'll never be able to relax, so I took it easy last night and most of today and I'm doing a bit better. I just really need life to calm down for awhile, though...

Congratulations! I'm assuming that is a lot?

Just checked a converter. 4.5 kilos, that is a lot :]

Thanks! I'm pretty happy...hopefully I'll make more progress.

Would you like to provide us with progress pics?

Would you like to provide us with progress pics?

Are...are you asking for pictures of my body?

@Ellbsas did you change your username??

@Ellbsas did you change your username??

What.
No way.
Everything is as normal.
Nothing to be concerned about.
Totally not still poking fun at misspellings or nothing.
To say otherwise is blatantly false.
Why would you accuse me of that.
You should be ashamed of such an accusation.
Because clearly that's not happening.
Nope.
Nothing suspicious about my name or what I'm saying or anything else at all.
Everything is fine.
Don't worry about it.
I am a 400-foot tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings.

I dont know what you're talking about, Eelbsas. I see nothing wrong here, Elblsas. I only see honest and truthful statements, Esblas.

After more than a year of fighting the good fight, my mother today started crying and asking just what the point of this struggle to get better is, since she has not shown any more improvement after her stroke. She has also developed a crisis of faith. I'm not a believer myself, but seeing her like this is disturbing.

I cant even begin to imagine what you and your mother are going through. It must be a difficult time for you.

Lately I feel like most people don't want to talk to me...when I try, I get the sense that I annoy them and they're just putting up with me. Sometimes I say things in conversations that are completely ignored, and people just keep chatting as if I hadn't said anything at all. I've even tried messaging people individually, something that is uncomfortable for me to do, and more than half the time they never answer back, even though I know they've seen it.

I'm left to wonder what it is that makes me so unwanted, and it makes me feel like the best thing to do would be to stop even trying and embrace the fact that I'm a recluse with no ability to socialize or know what to do or say to endear people to me. Maybe I'm just destined to be that person that's just kinda there, off to himself, it's the role I've played most of my life...if anything, the times where I had many close friends and people enjoyed my company are the outliers.

After more than a year of fighting the good fight, my mother today started crying and asking just what the point of this struggle to get better is, since she has not shown any more improvement after her stroke. She has also developed a crisis of faith. I'm not a believer myself, but seeing her like this is disturbing.

I don't think there's anything more heartbreaking than seeing your mom cry...recovering after a stroke is a tough fight, and depression is common after having one, and I can understand why. Besides losing our minds entirely, I'm not sure there's anything that's more tragic and devastating than losing our physical abilities, of feeling infirm and unable to do the things we used to do. It's a tough situation to be in, and a tough situation to support someone in that position...my thoughts are with both of you.

Recently I've been talking with a girl I went to high school with. We've been talking on Facebook. We've both been through some tough stuff (to put it lightly) and we've been talking about it with each other. She's talked to just two other people about what she's been going through and nobody else knows about any of it. Anyways we hung out for the first time in 10 years, caught up and talked more about our problems. I made sure she felt comfortable and safe (hugs were had too.) I care about her and just want her to be happy. It's just who I am. Since we hung out last week I've been smiling a lot more.

I'm not sure how to feel about people apparently liking that I feel ignored and unwanted. =/