Post #174169
November 15, 2023, 04:49:31 PM
I pledged to Leesbra that I would post a broader defense of myself too, so I will. I think it's better to avoid a big post-by-post version of that, because I have too many posts and that would become too much. So here's a general breakdown:
- I have maintained a consistent level of engagement with this game, at least relative to its overall activity level, since it began. When we started and had no clue yet, when Numbers was outed by Icet, and in the days that followed as the game got gradually tighter -- I have tried my best to get town to the finish line. I haven't been successful yet, but we're right there. I have done this despite not really knowing the vast majority of people here. I have kept myself engaged to the best of my ability.
- I have displayed a willingness to think critically and carefully. Even when callahan (Sugar Moon) and I got into that Day 1 conflict, we both found a way to resolve it amicably and even work together in the end. I have had similar dealings with most players -- considered both what makes them town and what might not, at least within reason. I was torn on players like Luka and ExLight and really tried to sort them with the time I had, and it's visible in my posts. This all shows that I was not informed about this game and in the same boat as every other town.
- I shared a little bit of ExLight's mechanical confusion yesterday. It is often much easier for town to get lost in the mechanical weeds than mafia, because mafia have a vested interest in paying close attention to that all game long. Of course we both found our way, but I tend to only experience that confusion or "mechanical headache" when I am town -- especially vanilla town.
- I have put myself out there by making high-leverage votes (like Jamie on Day 1 or ExLight yesterday) to try to propel the game in a positive direction while never hiding from the spotlight. Those votes haven't always been good ones, and I acknowledge my responsibility for that, but I am not alone in that. Sometimes the game of Mafia is hard, but we're still on the cusp of winning.
- At least I think my posts should seem genuine and reasonable. This is subjective, and I obviously have a bias. Some have felt that I am "too wordy" or "too formal", perhaps, but that's just who I am as a person. At all stages of the game, I have laid my whole hand of cards out face up so everyone can see exactly where my mindset is and how I am trying to solve. I have been an open book, so to speak.
Sometimes self-defense like this is wrought with bias, and it rarely lands for other people the way it seems like it should to oneself. That's just the nature of the game. So I remain an open book if there are questions or concerns.