[1:31 PM] Wintermoot 👑 [I voted]:
In any case, was there something new about those recent events that was brought up?
[1:32 PM] Katie:
wdym
[1:33 PM] Wintermoot 👑 [I voted]:
I mean, something that wasn't brought up when it happened
[1:38 PM] Conflagration Individual:
Sometimes, whats needed for something to become worth addressing isn't 'new evidence' but just 'more people finding it concerning'
[1:40 PM] Katie:
Yeah it's nothing new that came up
[1:40 PM] Katie:
just more people are upset about it than I initially thought
[1:41 PM] Katie:
and it seems that it's become a problem
[1:41 PM] Katie:
(even though it already was one imo)
[1:42 PM] Wintermoot 👑 [I voted]:
Well, I guess I'll repeat myself then. I can see how it's annoying to have your name changed, especially as part of a joke that people weren't in on, but I think beyond that people are reading more into it than what is really there.
[1:42 PM] Wintermoot 👑 [I voted]:
Had it not been for one person with pronouns in their name out of a dozen or so people changed, we would not be having this discussion.
[1:44 PM] Katie:
It doesn't really matter if it was just one person, and at this point it isn't the initial event that's even upsetting people
[1:44 PM] Katie:
it was everyone's response to it
[1:45 PM] Katie:
"it was just a joke", "you're looking too far into it"
[1:45 PM] Katie:
Someone was legitimately upset about the initial event and yet their opinion was almost completely invalidated by the whole community
[1:46 PM] Katie:
and it continues to be as well
---
[2:04 PM] Katie:
I only wanted to hear from AJ "I apologize that my actions offended some. This was not my intention and in the future I will ask for permission of those I am changing the names of"
[2:04 PM] Katie:
but then people got so defensive about it
[2:04 PM] Katie:
"it's just a joke, you're taking this too seriously" or whatever
[2:05 PM] Katie:
and now it's kind of too late because it's going to take alot of effort to convince me that any apology at this point is borne of anything aside from appeasement
---
[2:43 PM] Laurentus:
And for crying out loud, if you were in any way online at the time, your name was changed. It's a shitty joke, but it was not motivated by taking your gender identity away. No one was barred from changing it back. The real argument to be had here is that people's names probably shouldn't be changed for any reason, because it's rather annoying, but there was nothing more to it.
[2:43 PM] Vroendal:
I agree with Lau's position.
[2:51 PM] Tau Valeria:
The intent of the name change doesn't matter if the effect was dysphoric or otherwise negatively invalidating. Actions, including jokes, often have unintended consequences, and we should be able to recognize those and own up to those errors.
[2:53 PM] Laurentus:
Are you familiar with the term mens rea?
[2:55 PM] Tau Valeria:
(To clarify, by "doesn't matter" I don't mean there isn't a distinction, just that it is still an issue even if the intent was good-hearted)
[2:55 PM] Laurentus:
He's apologised as far as I understand. I don't see what the problem is.
[2:55 PM] Katie:
People continue to miss the point by saying that "it was not motivated by transphobic sentiment"
[2:55 PM] Katie:
also I don't remember seeing him do so
[2:57 PM] Laurentus:
Then what is the point?
[2:57 PM] Katie:
The point is not that it was motivated by transphobic sentiment, but that it made people upset nonetheless and then those who spoke up about it were shoved aside by members of this community
[3:00 PM] Laurentus:
So are you protesting the fact that it happened, or the insensitivity in the response?
[3:01 PM] Katie:
the insensitivity in the response[3:02 PM] Katie:
The people who are upset that it happened: I guess I can see where they're coming from (?) but it's the response that infuriated me
---
[3:09 PM] Laurentus:
So what's this about then?
[3:10 PM] Tau Valeria:
Rather, my understanding of the issue is that people's concerns seemingly don't matter to other members of the community, including Ops, simply because the instigating incident was intended as a joke
[3:12 PM] Laurentus:
I think there's something being left unspoken here, so I'm just gonna say it. I think some of the people complaining knew it was just a joke, but chose to read more into it.
[3:12 PM] Tau Valeria:
Basically, "it was just a shitty joke", even if true, isn't a reason to dismiss people out of hand
[3:13 PM] Laurentus:
When people are making much more of it than is there, I would say it is.
[3:13 PM] Tau Valeria:
Something being intended as a joke doesn't change the real impact it may have, and therefore using that as justification for saying that there is no issue is an issue
[3:13 PM] Tau Valeria:
Something being intended as a joke doesn't change the real impact it may have, and therefore using that as justification for saying that there is no issue is an issue
[3:15 PM] Laurentus:
An issue that no one seems to have a remedy for, since apologies apparently aren't good enough.
[3:17 PM] Tau Valeria:
I think all people are wanting (or at least me) is for us, especially those who dismissed the concerns, to collectively recognize the issue and move on
[3:17 PM] Katie:
So now you're accusing people of purposefully making more of this? That's uh...
[3:17 PM] Laurentus:
If one of those people is Chanku? You betcha.
[3:17 PM] Katie:
You're not really one to judge what "is there" for people to be going beyond
[3:17 PM] Katie:
because it's subjective
[3:18 PM] Katie:
Apologies, good sincere apologies, would be satisfactory to me
[3:18 PM] Laurentus:
Except you won't even believe it.
[3:19 PM] Laurentus:
So what's the point?
[3:19 PM] Tau Valeria:
I think all people are wanting (or at least me) is for us, especially those who dismissed the concerns, to collectively recognize the issue and move on
Especially since just above in this chat we have many people, including Moot, just saying "it was a shitty joke there was no problem"
[3:19 PM] Katie:
I mean at this point can you see why it'd be hard to?
[3:19 PM] Katie:
Considering how annoyed y'all seem to be at the situation?
[3:19 PM] Laurentus:
So then again, what is it that you actually want?
[3:19 PM] Katie:
I literally just said it
[3:20 PM] Laurentus:
And then I literally just pointed out that you said you likely wouldn't see it as genuine.
[3:20 PM] Laurentus:
That's like the Definition of a catch 22.
[3:20 PM] Katie:
No it isn't
[3:20 PM] Katie:
it just has to be truly genuine
[3:20 PM] Katie:
I want to see that an understanding has been reached
[3:21 PM] Katie:
that even though intentions were good, this bothered people and instead of reacting to it maturely first, they brushed it aside
[3:21 PM] Katie:
that's what I want them to realize
[3:21 PM] Laurentus:
And if the person who made the joke doesn't see it as a problem, by virtue of it being a joke, what then?
[3:21 PM] Katie:
Then that's honestly a big problem
[3:21 PM] Laurentus:
Why?
[3:22 PM] Katie:
because it means they don't care
[3:22 PM] Laurentus:
Why should someone care if they never intended offense?
[3:22 PM] Katie:
Because they caused it anyways
[3:22 PM] Tau Valeria:
Why shouldn't people care about unintended consequences of their actions?
[3:22 PM] Katie:
If I accidentally offended someone, the first thing I would say is "I'm sorry"
[3:23 PM] Katie:
and I wouldn't qualify it with "but it was just a joke"
---
[3:25 PM] Katie:
when you say "it was just a joke" it implies that their reaction was incorrect
[3:26 PM] Laurentus:
Whatever. You know as well as I do that Chanku doesn't like AJ, and that probably has a lot more to do with the complaint than anything else.
[3:26 PM] Katie:
That's a very bad take
[3:26 PM] Katie:
I don't think this is about rivalries
[3:26 PM] Katie:
in fact I know it isn't
[3:27 PM] Katie:
and I think the fact that you would deflect and say "oh it's because of personal vendettas"
[3:27 PM] Katie:
is honestly a bit disgusting
[3:27 PM] Katie:
because you remember who said that?
[3:27 PM] Katie:
in November?
[3:27 PM] Katie:
about AJ and Marz and the lot?
[3:27 PM] Mathyland:
in fact I know it isn't
@Katie How do you know that?
[3:27 PM] Mathyland:
(Just an honest question)
[3:27 PM] Sir Bagel of Stirlingshire:
Why is everyone fighting?
[3:28 PM] Katie:
Because Chanku wasn't the first person to tell me they were bothered by this---
[3:43 PM] Wintermoot 👑 [I voted]:
I don't think it's productive to continue the conversation at this point with everyone up in arms. That's all I meant.
[3:43 PM] Katie:
Okay I agree with that