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Ladies and gentlemen; the April session is almost upon us, which of course means that I have to run for UH again*.

I do so because now, with many of us staying home in the middle of a global pandemic, there has never been a more pressing time to engage with incendiary issues, the most burning of which is, of course, the perpetual question of the fate of the Underhusen.
How can we allow so decrepit an entity to stay so...unsinged? The answer is 'we can't', and so you should thus obviously elect me to the UH so we can finally solve this problem once and for all.
This session, I will be more aggressively recruiting to the Burner Party, in the hopes that other people try to create their own political parties, and the resulting sectarian divisions it will cause finally make clear that our mixed political system of partial appointments and partial elections is silly, and we should finally just say 'ah, fuck it' and defer to the monarch** in all things.
I promise absolutely nothing in my campaign, as it has been made clear to me in previous sessions that promising to be silly has just resulted in me taking my job Dead Seriously, and promising to take my job Dead Seriously has resulted in me being silly. Therefore, by the law of opposites this implies, by promising nothing, I am in fact guaranteeing you, dear voters, the world.
Vote for me, and vote for my future fellow Burners, and together, we can burn down this rotten edifice and dance in the ashes and embers.
While maintaining safe social distancing.

Disclaimers:
*The fact that this is only the second time I'm running in the April session should be quietly ignored.
**Any intimations that I am merely doing this to go up a couple spots on the Wintermoot Favoritism Index, so I can realize my long-held dream of becoming a childish, immature, and wildly dissolute member of the Royal Family are completely off-base; yes, I am 80% doing this for that, but the other 20% is because I think it's hilarious. The fact that I also think that me becoming a member of the Royal Family would be hilarious can only contribute to how hilarious this is.

Well this is a unique campaign platform to run on, Doc, but I can't say I'm not intrigued.

What role have you taken in the Underhusen to date? Do you have any particular ideas you'd like to see implemented in terms of regional political engagement, as Ogunbiyi does? What, aside from good wordplay, makes you stand out as a candidate?

****ing tomatoist heretic, why should we vote for you?

Hey there, and welcome to the campaign!

One question...don't you think everyone would get bored if it was just me deciding everything?

Well this is a unique campaign platform to run on, Doc, but I can't say I'm not intrigued.

What role have you taken in the Underhusen to date? Do you have any particular ideas you'd like to see implemented in terms of regional political engagement, as Ogunbiyi does? What, aside from good wordplay, makes you stand out as a candidate?

(For clarity, 'Burn It Down' (hence 'Burn, Incinerate, Deflagrate') (where 'it' refers to 'the Underhusen') is a long-running semi-joke that's become strongly associated with me, mostly because I articulate it whenever I think it would be funny; perhaps the best example of this is my forum signature, which is a derivative of 'Carthago delenda est' to refer instead to the UH.)

****ing tomatoist heretic, why should we vote for you?

Gosh, how many times do I need to articulate that the Tomatoist and Potatoeist faiths are in communion? Go find eggplantists or whatever if you need to burn someone at the stake.
Hey...wait a minute...burn...

Hey there, and welcome to the campaign!

One question...don't you think everyone would get bored if it was just me deciding everything?

On the contrary, the jockeying for position on the Wintermoot Favoritism Index in order to be able to bend your ear on subjects of importance would be a delightful way to spend our time. Wintreath would have all the intrigues of a Deadly Decadent Court without any of the...deadly! But still all the decadence. Decadence is vital to Proper Intrigues.

On the contrary, the jockeying for position on the Wintermoot Favoritism Index in order to be able to bend your ear on subjects of importance would be a delightful way to spend our time. Wintreath would have all the intrigues of a Deadly Decadent Court without any of the...deadly! But still all the decadence. Decadence is vital to Proper Intrigues.

Do you *really* want a region where everyone is trying to gain *my* favor?

You know not what you say here.

Do you *really* want a region where everyone is trying to gain *my* favor?

You know not what you say here.

Hell yeah.
Imagine all the decadence.
(Speaking seriously, BID is agnostic to the direction the region's governance goes in, whether it's more democratic, a la the Open Assembly, or more autocratic, where we just go full monarch-decides-everything; the point is essentially that the UH is, at best, vaguely pointless, and at worst, wildly dysfunctional and incapable of getting anything done, and replacing it with anything else would be an improvement.)