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For those of you that don't know how this works, here's how it is. Get the hill. By any means necessary. I'll start.

     I am [a] god. I raise the hill and defend it with angels. My hill.

 I come down from the sky from a distant planet, prove your nonexistence effectively destroying you, and rule the hill with a technocratic council

*Notices TGP sitting on his throne fast asleep, covered in a thin layer of dust*
*Pushes him off the throne, where he rolls down the hill to the bottom*
*Plants flag next to throne and sits down on throne*
My Hill!

-Six HE at grid reference, six-oh-four, three-nine-nine?
-Confirmed Haymaker, six HE at six-oh-four, three-nine-nine.
-Roger Colonel. Strike inbound.
*Artillery shells hit the hill.
-Six times splash, Haymaker, good effect on target.
-Roger Colonel. Haymaker on stand-by.
"Alright Stormchasers, up and at 'em.
*Colonel Hueelar installs himself on the ruins of the throne with his 14th Tlalocian Combat Regiment around him as his Kingsguard.

*Unfortunately, the Colonel fails to realize he is attacking Stacky's decoy hill, just to the left of the real one*

Impressive display of firepower, Colonel, it was entertaining to watch  ;D

*Doesn't care who the King is, but I will always be Queen of the hill ;D*

 Wakes up after sleep at the ground of the hill, and, rubbing the dirt off, goes up the hill, and, while Stacky is distracted by a fly, grazes his neck with my canine. This causes Stacky to go into a comatose state between several hours to some days before waking, in which The Golden Persian reigns with Queen Jonewest.

Wakes up after sleep at the ground of the hill, and, rubbing the dirt off, goes up the hill, and, while Stacky is distracted by a fly, grazes the neck with my canine, releasing a toxin into the bloodstream. This causes Stacky to go into a comatose state between several hours to some days before waking, in which The Golden Persian reigns with Queen Jonewest.

*Wakes up after a pleasant, restful coma*
*notices TGP and Jonewest sitting atop my hill*
*Is kinda confused as to how they got there*
*shrugs, and waves at Alterra, who kindly lends some of his elite sniper soldiers from my decoy hill*
*watches snipers make quick work of TGP and JW, who are then disposed of by some nearby boy scouts*
*wipes blood off my throne, and sits down comfortably* ;D

 Golden Persians eyes open as body begins immediate self-repair, the bullet having been lodged into skull, though it didn't penetrate into brain, due to skull being denser and thicker then humans.

  Then, bribing the boyscouts with a "Helping a foreign planetary visitor" badge, they go about and, using their gathering skills, get some potent herbs that will poison the body. They put it into one of Stacky's meals, where he then must be taken to the hospital for an undisclosed amount of time, leaving The Golden Persian to once again reign over the hill.

President Timlo tosses up a $10 million check to every being that has or ever had and ever will have a claim on the hill. They all agree to sign a contract called the "Godmod Agreement" which gives Timothia unlimited power over the Hill. It is now mine and will rightfully remain so regardless of who proceeds to take it through military strength.

  The Golden Persian sees that Timothia uses the word "being" by his own definition of the word being. Due to the dialect and language uses of different planetary systems, The Golden Persian is able to loophole out of the contract, and, using additional legal framework to get him distracted by a constant bombardment of legal paperwork, The Golden Persian once again claims the hill.

Is still the Queen of the Hill, will always be and always has been.

I marry JW, who divorces GP. This makes me King of the Hill by inheritance, as JW carries the eternal title.  :-* JW :-*

*emerges, dazed and blinking, from the hospital*
*remembers that I didn't sign any treaty, from being in the hospital*
*returns to the hill, with Alterra and Jonewest sitting atop the throne, and brings several large hot-air balloons*
*attaches the balloons to the hill and lifts the entire hill 10,000 feet up into the sky, Bioshock Infinite style*
*hits button on my watch, which activates the hidden ejector seat in my throne that Alt and JW are sitting on*
*the two go flying off the throne and fall down back towards earth, where they make a very disgusting and bloody mess in a Chuck E Cheese parking lot*
*sits back down on the throne, and activates an impenetrable shield of pure energy that vaporizes all mater that touches it*
*enjoys the view*