Guess who was wrong? It was me.
So!
Bi or Pan? Yes!
Cis-female? No
Still sorting out exactly what I am, but non-binary is what I’m saying for now. Any pronouns (she, he, they) are fine, but They/Them is your safest bet.
This is kind of where I still am with myself, though I'm perfectly fine with he/him or any pronouns used (Minus it/its, that one just sounds odd to me personally to be identified as, but respect to those that it works for).
I've mentioned this in 2020 (though not in here), but I've grown more and more to detest labels (though yes I realize "non-binary" is
technically a label, even if it's about tossing away gender labels since you don't fit in either box). I don't entirely identify as "boy" but I don't exactly identify as "girl" either. I like dressing in boy clothes, but I also love girl clothes beyond just a drag thing and love the idea of just wearing what I feel without the idea of gender labels attached to it. The same goes for interests/activities and other areas of the spectrum, as well as just overall how I act/present myself. I've always been pretty in the middle of the whole "masculinity" versus "femininity" spectrum, only a little more on the former because that's generally just how I feel people want me to act versus being equally both like I feel more comfortable being.
Romantic/attraction wise, I'm kinda where I've always been with the exception. By traditional definition I'm gay mainly because I'm attracted to men, have only ever been deeply romantic with men, and probably continue being deeply romantic with them by default. By
actual definition, there's been the occasional woman or so that I've also been attracted to and have thought "I'd like to date them" (celebrity wise, Anne Hathaway was always the person on my list that I'd totally date that wasn't male), so I don't entirely feel comfortable being called gay since I'm not
exclusively attracted to men only, they're just
usually the folks that I tend to fall for.
And yes, as I'm sure some folks will ask if they read my previous posts, it's become a thing that's changed a bit since my 2017 post where I said I'd more than likely never fall in love with a woman. In reality, I don't feel as comfortable taking that stance anymore since I've found more women to be really attractive and have considered what it'd be like to be romantically with them. So yes, life has been funny that way.
Overall though, as I said I just hate labels. For some, they're helpful identifiers that can make up how a person is with themselves and I completely respect that. For me though, they're more of a suffocating aspect that you're boxing yourself into. Identify as gay to others, but find attractions to women later on after you've already established that identity? That's a hard box to switch from because it was hard enough coming out as the former, but now you've got to come out as something else which even the supportive folks on the former may critique you heavily for (or accuse you of being an attention seeker).
So if I had to, I'd say this: I'm a person who feels equally
both genders at times, more male at times, and more female at others. I think all genders can be attractive, but I tend to have a much bigger lean towards men specifically...but there have definitely been women that I've been attracted to as well, even if the list for them has been much smaller. If I had to absolutely throw myself a label, I'd say I'm much more getting into the vibe that I'm non-binary, and that I'm more Pan/Bi with just a largely bigger preference to males.
But since I hate labels, I'll just say I am, and will always continue to be just
Michi.