Pages: [1]

Life Stories
Posts: 2 Views: 470

HannahB
  • Former Citizen
  • Nuclear Soldermancer
  • So I was reading the Who's the person behind the screen thread, and I started typing up something but realised it was turning into my whole life story, so decided to do this instead, so as not to hijack that thread. :))

    So I don't think anyone knows my whole life story, and I don't see the harm in telling it, it might give you all some more insight into me, I'll try and be as factual and brief as I can, but I'm not making any promises.

    Disclaimer: this could be a little sad... so be warned I don't want to upset anyone :'(

    Life Story / Warning Could be sad
    My parents didn't want to have any kids, both them and my grandparents have told me as much, but my mother is allergic to latex :)) so I was an accident. I was born on 30th of August 1996 at 04:00 with pneumonia and jaundice and a slew of other ailments, spent the first month of my life in hospital on life support. That whole time though my parents could not figure out a name for me, my Dad wanted me to be Xerxes and my mother wanted Xavier; but eventually they somehow settled on calling me Michael.

    When I was born my parent's lived in a government council house, and both worked full time, while I don't remember the house we do have old photos and I have to say it's a piece of crap, which is probably why we moved when I was 2 to a private flat in the inner city. My parents were always really busy with work so I was often left with my Grandparents they picked me up from nursery and took me home everyday, when I was 2 my first brother was also born, and then when I was 4 my second brother, and that meant we had to move again. A bigger flat, on the other side of town, still the inner city so that's where I went to Primary School.

    Since it was my Grandparents often looking after me, they had to amuse me, and both my grandfathers being craftsmen of some description decided to teach me practical things, woodwork, metal-work, mechanisms and electronics (I learned to solder when I was 6, but I burned myself a lot back then :'( ). It was very hard at the time, and didn't seem fun at all, but now they are some of my favorite things to do.
    I was a massive loner even in Primary school, always sticking to myself, I often sat in a corner in the school yard keeping to myself and my thoughts, I was often very sad, and people didn't like talking to me. I got beat up a lot as well, but I didn't mind too much, I didn't start out actively being a pacifist but I sorta developed that trait and have kept it with me.

    In 2000 my Dad got promoted and his company gave him a computer, our first, (that wasn't a ZX-Spectrum) he installed loads of games on it that he'd play when he got home from work, I wanted to play too, so me and him worked together and build me a computer (this was later about 2002) it was a piece of crap, but it meant me and him could play ground control, or Command and Conquer together, I had a lot of fun on that PC. :)

    I never believed in Santa or the Easter bunny or anything I don't know why, it just never occurred to me, my parents are both atheists, and I don't think they ever put that on me intentionally, I once asked them what a catholic was (as there was a catholic school next door to mine) and they explained god and the history of the church, and I guess I just lumped all that stuff in with St. Nick and the like automatically.

    We moved again when I was in Primary 4 (8yo) this time out to the suburbs to a much nicer house where all us kids had our own room, I have very fond memories of that house, even if it wasn't easy times for me, an already very introverted person moving schools is never good, and I only secluded myself more, I got beat up a lot less in the new school though. We moved again when I was in first year of high school (12yo) this time out to a satellite village, and a nicer house with a garage and a second floor. Now I had to walk 2.5km to school every morning and 2.5km back every evening, while at highschool I worked delivering papers in the morning and I worked at a corner shop in the evening, it was really quiet though so I mainly just sat around doing my homework.

    The highschool was in a neighboring town quite a run down area, I was still a massive loner and always wore a full school uniform with blazer and everything, I was also really thin, tall and lanky, I got called lots of names and beaten up (when I couldn't run away fast enough) once I even got stabbed right through my right arm, I still have the scar, the kid that did it was arrested I don't know what happened to him later (I only know rumors) I know he was moved school at least. Eventually when the bullies realized there was nothing gained out of beating me up except trouble from teachers, parents or the police it let up and I was mostly left to my own devices.

    In 3rd year (14yo) I started playing WoW on my computer and I loved it, I always tried to find new escapism's and it was like the ultimate, I sunk every night and weekend into that game for the next 2 years... In 4th year (15yo) I made (or rather fell in) with a group of friends, I found one of them though WoW and I "clicked" with the rest at school, there were about 5 of us and we got together hung about and got high on whatever we could find alcohol, weed, cigarettes, mushrooms, even stronger stuff that I won't get into, it was all great, hanging out with them and forgetting the world made everything feel easy, I think I was happy, but honestly that whole year is kinda a blur.

    When I was 16 in 5th year doing my Higher exams and I was scared I was going to fail them, I got really paranoid and stopped WoW but kept hanging out with the girls all I would do was study study study, and even then I slipped some cheats into my maths exam, turned out I didn't need them too much, but that's how worried I'd gotten.
    One day after the exams before my results I hear a rumor online that one of my friends is in hospital... it turned out to be true as I found out from her parents a day or so later, she had OD'd on heroin out on her own, she had only used it a few times before, but she probably wasn't in a great state of mind when it happened. Loosing one of my few friends really messed me up...

    The next week I was high with the others and I climbed up on a foot-bridge near the motorway and jumped off, it really sobered me up I can say that, I hit the ground and broke my right arm and leg... falling off that bridge was the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced... sometimes I still wakeup having had a nightmare of falling...  In hospital afterwords I decided that I wouldn't get high again... and after I had a cast on both limbs I came out to my parents as Trans and Bi, it was very very emotional, but I had decided I didn't want to die or waste away, I wanted to live.

    While still bandaged up I applied to University, I applied for a wide variety of courses, Video Game Design, BioChemical Engineering, Nuclear Power Engineering and Nuclear Physics... annoyingly because of my grades I was accepted into all that I applied for, but I had to do a secondary test for the Physics course, that test was the hardest test I've ever done :)) I decided then that what I wanted to do with the NPE course, so I applied and with the money I'd saved moved into my flat in the town and started going to Uni with two of my friends from school (to lighten the financial load).

    When I moved out on my own (16 nearly 17 at the time my friends are older so it's not so bad) I got a job at the nearby supermarket as a cashier... I also started seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist on the NHS and started to transition to Hannah, the name I got from my friend (the one who is no longer with me) started taking hormones and started on hormones 4 months before my 18th birthday... It was unfortunate transitioning at Uni, lots and lots of awkward conversations with staff, colleagues and fellow students, I was accidentally "outed" when some of the guys from my class came to the shop I worked at when I was out there but not at Uni...

    I worked hard at both work and Uni and have been voted my class' representative in the Student government 3 years running. I was promoted from cashier to line manager at the shop I worked at about this time last year, which is also when I joined this site... My flatmate had introduced me to NS and I joined this site because the day I joined NS Wintreath was flying the Transgender Pride Flag, I recognized it and joined.

    Over the new year period I found myself too stressed as a manager at the supermarket, so I quit and got a job as a police specialist, repairing equipment and sometimes participating in patrols, I know it's not glamorous, but it's hours work really well with my regime, and I've respected the police most my life.

    So far Uni has been going well, I have passed every year with top-marks, top of my class (though not always by a big margin) getting distinction and merits from my University... but a decision has cropped up, I'll be 20 in August, I often go around other universities for conferences and events and at one I applied to a Nuclear Physics position as a Lab Assistant and working on a degree, I didn't think I would get in as it's with the team here working for The European Organization for Nuclear Research (aka CERN)... if I leave my current course I will have to spend 5 years there before getting a degree... while I am nearly finished my one here... I also know I enjoy engineering I love the work I do at the university... I don't know if I'll be any good at hard science.

    I feel like I'm at a crossroads... but also that both routes seem good, I look back on my life and it's not been the best, but I am glad for it, and I hope that it continues to brighten up as the years go by.

    Feel free to post your own stories or anything :)
    7 people like this post: Wintermoot, Arenado, Gerrick, taulover, Bodobol, Barnes, Michi
    HannahB
    • Nuclear Soldermancer
    • Posts: 1,435
    • Karma: 557
    • "You can not fight for Peace, you can only fight for War"
    • Former Citizen
    • Pronouns
      She/Her/Hers
      Familial House
      Everden
      Wintreath Nation
      Logged
    Wintermoot
  • Regional Stability Squad
  • The Greyscale Magi-Monk
  • You know, it's interesting reading your life story because while the beginning is sad indeed (and I'm sorry that those things happened to you), it seems like you're life is really getting better because of all the hard work you've put into it...you've came out, transitioned, and become more the person you are all while maintaining an impeccable educational record and getting better career prospects. It couldn't have been easy at all, but it feels like you're just starting to reap the benefits, and I think your life will continue to brighten as the years go by. :)

    Also loved the part where you joined that Wintreath site. ;)

    Maybe I'll post something later on ^-^
    2 people like this post: HannahB, Michi


    I went all the way to Cassadega to commune with the dead
    They said "You'd better look alive"
    Wintermoot
    • The Greyscale Magi-Monk
    • Posts: 19,453
    • Karma: 9,677
    • Weather: ❄️
    • Regional Stability Squad
    • Pronouns
      He/Him/His
      Orientation
      Demisexual
      Wintreath Nation
      Logged
     
    Pages: [1]