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Paradox Games Thread
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Arenado
  • Citizen
  • Some Random Guy
  • Well, now I'm at war with the Byzantines (they started it) with a new King (Stanimir) who, and I kid you not, has the seduction focus and is trying to seduce his sister (not my doing). I love this game!
    Stanimir? That's not a Greek name... What's his culture?

    Greek? I'm Croatian. I'm Stanimir. Also, I named him.

    I thought you meant the Byzantine Emperor was named Stanimir for some reason xD

    Haha, nah, is name is something I'm not even going to try and pronounce :] Also, Stanimir the Apostle, seducer of 2 of his sisters, 3 of his nieces ( one of whom was the offspring of the relation ship between the first sister he seduced, Nadia, and him), 1 of his nieces daughters, 3 16 to 18 year old teenagers, his wife's sister AND mother, the wife of the King of Hungary
    (more out of spite than anything else), 4 Duchess in various counties and the youngest daughter of the King of Galicia, died and was succeed by his sister Nadia (the first sister he slept with) Man, Stanimir really was a pious man, huh?
    I Hope You Have A Nice Day :]
    Arenado
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    Crushita
  • Citizen
  • The Potato Pope
  • Well, now I'm at war with the Byzantines (they started it) with a new King (Stanimir) who, and I kid you not, has the seduction focus and is trying to seduce his sister (not my doing). I love this game!
    Stanimir? That's not a Greek name... What's his culture?

    Greek? I'm Croatian. I'm Stanimir. Also, I named him.

    I thought you meant the Byzantine Emperor was named Stanimir for some reason xD

    Haha, nah, is name is something I'm not even going to try and pronounce :] Also, Stanimir the Apostle, seducer of 2 of his sisters, 3 of his nieces ( one of whom was the offspring of the relation ship between the first sister he seduced, Nadia, and him), 1 of his nieces daughters, 3 16 to 18 year old teenagers, his wife's sister AND mother, the wife of the King of Hungary
    (more out of spite than anything else), 4 Duchess in various counties and the youngest daughter of the King of Galicia, died and was succeed by his sister Nadia (the first sister he slept with) Man, Stanimir really was a pious man, huh?
    Equal-To-Apostle for sure!
    Spoiler
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    Wintreath
    Skirfa of the 12th, 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 25th, 26th, 27th and 29th Sessions of the Underhusen
    Former Thane of Information
    His Majesty's Court Pet
    Kingdom of Great Britain
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    Former Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Great Britain
    Former Deputy Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Great Britain x2
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    Former Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Kingdom of Great Britain x2
    Former Lord of Parliament of the Kingdom of Great Britain x4
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    Ainur
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    [/center]
    • The Potato Pope
    Crushita
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    Arenado
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  • Some Random Guy
  • Welp, Nadia died. Now its a distant cousin, Tomislav the Just, that leads my intrepid peoples. Also, I got the Charlemagne DLC, so expect the Jerusalem-Croatia Empire to rise! MUAHAHAHA!
    I Hope You Have A Nice Day :]
    Arenado
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    Crushita
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  • Welp, Nadia died. Now its a distant cousin, Tomislav the Just, that leads my intrepid peoples. Also, I got the Charlemagne DLC, so expect the Jerusalem-Croatia Empire to rise! MUAHAHAHA!
    The Stanmirian Empire? In honour of Stanimir the "Apostle"?
    Spoiler
    Held Positions
    Wintreath
    Skirfa of the 12th, 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 25th, 26th, 27th and 29th Sessions of the Underhusen
    Former Thane of Information
    His Majesty's Court Pet
    Kingdom of Great Britain
    Former Privy Councilor
    Former Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Great Britain
    Former Deputy Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Great Britain x2
    Former Member of Parliament of the Kingdom of Great Britain x4
    Former Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Kingdom of Great Britain x2
    Former Lord of Parliament of the Kingdom of Great Britain x4
    Formerly His Royal Highness, the Viscount Telcontar of Whitby
    Ainur
    Former King of Ainur
    Former Minister of Culture of Ainur x2
    Former Minister of Foreign Affairs of Ainur x2
    Former Senator of Ainur x2
    Former Deputy Speaker of Ainur
    Other Regions
    Former Prime Minister of the British Isles
    Former Prime Minister of the New United Kingdom
    Former Culture Minister of the New United Kingdom
    Former Member of the Parliament of the Canadian Kingdom
    Former Privy Councillor in the Canadian Kingdom
    Former Member of Parliament of the United Kingdom
    [/center]
    • The Potato Pope
    Crushita
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    Arenado
  • Citizen
  • Some Random Guy
  • Welp, Nadia died. Now its a distant cousin, Tomislav the Just, that leads my intrepid peoples. Also, I got the Charlemagne DLC, so expect the Jerusalem-Croatia Empire to rise! MUAHAHAHA!
    The Stanmirian Empire? In honour of Stanimir the "Apostle"?

    Alas, no, but Nadia did name a castle after him. Also, my Empire is light blue for some reason.
    I Hope You Have A Nice Day :]
    Arenado
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    Seroim
  • Former Citizen
  • I refuse to play this fucking game until Seduction is finally brought into line.

    Every single game I've played post Way of Life, my wife has been chain cheating on me with other men. Doesn't matter who I am, what title I have, I could be Emperor of the World and piddly fucking counts would still come from nowhere and show my wife their dicks and she's only too eager to get on her knees and suck them dry before bending over and letting them run a train on her. It's unbelievable.

    Using console I can see that it can happen that I have exactly zero non-bastard children, and much more often than really is sensible or realistic. In other words, all the children of my ruler dude aren't his, but the bastard issue of random fucking shitty counts. This makes trying to groom heirs for genetics worthless because they won't inherit your fucking genetics, but those of the drooling imbecile half a continent away that your little cumslut of a wife let jizz in her pussy.

    The legit event to find out that your household whore has been cheating on you with men from everywhere in the damn fucking world fires way too rarely too, given how prevalent that shit is. And there is little you can do even if you find out, save disown the bastard(s) and divorce. I think it should be a casus belli and give a free execution on your wife.

    I know I can disable the DLC but the other paths are pretty nifty. Love Hunter. It's just Seduction that is still completely and utterly broken, and it has been since release. It completely ruins the point of the game. Of course as CK2 is aging the greedy fucks at Paradox have trouble milking customers for DLC so patching is becoming rarer and rarer. I don't know if it'll ever be fixed.
    Seroim
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    • The Court Derpster
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    Wintermoot
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  • Doesn't matter who I am, what title I have, I could be Emperor of the World and piddly fucking counts would still come from nowhere and show my wife their dicks and she's only too eager to get on her knees and suck them dry before bending over and letting them run a train on her. It's unbelievable.

    Using console I can see that it can happen that I have exactly zero non-bastard children, and much more often than really is sensible or realistic. In other words, all the children of my ruler dude aren't his, but the bastard issue of random fucking shitty counts. This makes trying to groom heirs for genetics worthless because they won't inherit your fucking genetics, but those of the drooling imbecile half a continent away that your little cumslut of a wife let jizz in her pussy.

    Damn that's hot...I bet you're great at dirty talk. :p

    /completely irrelevant comment :D


    I went all the way to Cassadega to commune with the dead
    They said "You'd better look alive"
    Wintermoot
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    Arenado
  • Citizen
  • Some Random Guy
  • I refuse to play this fucking game until Seduction is finally brought into line.

    Every single game I've played post Way of Life, my wife has been chain cheating on me with other men. Doesn't matter who I am, what title I have, I could be Emperor of the World and piddly fucking counts would still come from nowhere and show my wife their dicks and she's only too eager to get on her knees and suck them dry before bending over and letting them run a train on her. It's unbelievable.

    Using console I can see that it can happen that I have exactly zero non-bastard children, and much more often than really is sensible or realistic. In other words, all the children of my ruler dude aren't his, but the bastard issue of random fucking shitty counts. This makes trying to groom heirs for genetics worthless because they won't inherit your fucking genetics, but those of the drooling imbecile half a continent away that your little cumslut of a wife let jizz in her pussy.

    The legit event to find out that your household whore has been cheating on you with men from everywhere in the damn fucking world fires way too rarely too, given how prevalent that shit is. And there is little you can do even if you find out, save disown the bastard(s) and divorce. I think it should be a casus belli and give a free execution on your wife.

    I know I can disable the DLC but the other paths are pretty nifty. Love Hunter. It's just Seduction that is still completely and utterly broken, and it has been since release. It completely ruins the point of the game. Of course as CK2 is aging the greedy fucks at Paradox have trouble milking customers for DLC so patching is becoming rarer and rarer. I don't know if it'll ever be fixed.

    Bad day?
    I Hope You Have A Nice Day :]
    Arenado
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    Crushita
  • Citizen
  • The Potato Pope
  • Funny. I've never aught my wife cheating. And most of my vassals aren't taking seduction focus.

    Though then again, when I played Duchess of Matilda of Tuscany I got BOMBARDED by seduction offers after like 3 years. It was ridiculous, like, I would either get the 70 year old Prince Bishop of Bremen or one of my vassals hitting on me, alternating.

    Still I mean, I seduced like everybody who hated me because I was a woman so perhaps that was why.... xD
    Spoiler
    Held Positions
    Wintreath
    Skirfa of the 12th, 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 25th, 26th, 27th and 29th Sessions of the Underhusen
    Former Thane of Information
    His Majesty's Court Pet
    Kingdom of Great Britain
    Former Privy Councilor
    Former Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Great Britain
    Former Deputy Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Great Britain x2
    Former Member of Parliament of the Kingdom of Great Britain x4
    Former Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Kingdom of Great Britain x2
    Former Lord of Parliament of the Kingdom of Great Britain x4
    Formerly His Royal Highness, the Viscount Telcontar of Whitby
    Ainur
    Former King of Ainur
    Former Minister of Culture of Ainur x2
    Former Minister of Foreign Affairs of Ainur x2
    Former Senator of Ainur x2
    Former Deputy Speaker of Ainur
    Other Regions
    Former Prime Minister of the British Isles
    Former Prime Minister of the New United Kingdom
    Former Culture Minister of the New United Kingdom
    Former Member of the Parliament of the Canadian Kingdom
    Former Privy Councillor in the Canadian Kingdom
    Former Member of Parliament of the United Kingdom
    [/center]
    • The Potato Pope
    Crushita
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    Arenado
  • Citizen
  • Some Random Guy
  • For some reason I cant explain the mongol hordes seem to spend more time killing each other then ganging up on Europe. Also, the Byzantine Empire is worthless. I've faced 6 different Jihads against Jerusalem, 2 for Andalusia and 1 for Anatolia (not counting all the De Jure claim wars that resulted in the entire Sunni or Shiite world declaring war on me, the Byzantines go and lose Sicily, Armenia and Anatolia in 1 Jihad each. Dear god, they are fucking worthless!
    I Hope You Have A Nice Day :]
    Arenado
    • Some Random Guy
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    Crushita
  • Citizen
  • The Potato Pope
  • For some reason I cant explain the mongol hordes seem to spend more time killing each other then ganging up on Europe. Also, the Byzantine Empire is worthless. I've faced 6 different Jihads against Jerusalem, 2 for Andalusia and 1 for Anatolia (not counting all the De Jure claim wars that resulted in the entire Sunni or Shiite world declaring war on me, the Byzantines go and lose Sicily, Armenia and Anatolia in 1 Jihad each. Dear god, they are fucking worthless!

    Mongols AI got messed up. Now all we get is them trying to kill each other after Genghis dies, which doesn't take very long because he is quite old by the time he gets here.

    Also, its not that the Byzantine Empire is worthless. Its the Byzantine AI that is worthless.
    Spoiler
    Held Positions
    Wintreath
    Skirfa of the 12th, 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 25th, 26th, 27th and 29th Sessions of the Underhusen
    Former Thane of Information
    His Majesty's Court Pet
    Kingdom of Great Britain
    Former Privy Councilor
    Former Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Great Britain
    Former Deputy Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Great Britain x2
    Former Member of Parliament of the Kingdom of Great Britain x4
    Former Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Kingdom of Great Britain x2
    Former Lord of Parliament of the Kingdom of Great Britain x4
    Formerly His Royal Highness, the Viscount Telcontar of Whitby
    Ainur
    Former King of Ainur
    Former Minister of Culture of Ainur x2
    Former Minister of Foreign Affairs of Ainur x2
    Former Senator of Ainur x2
    Former Deputy Speaker of Ainur
    Other Regions
    Former Prime Minister of the British Isles
    Former Prime Minister of the New United Kingdom
    Former Culture Minister of the New United Kingdom
    Former Member of the Parliament of the Canadian Kingdom
    Former Privy Councillor in the Canadian Kingdom
    Former Member of Parliament of the United Kingdom
    [/center]
    • The Potato Pope
    Crushita
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    Crushita
  • Citizen
  • The Potato Pope
  • Now, would anybody be up for a CKII game today?

    I know HannahB was interested. Anybody else?
    Spoiler
    Held Positions
    Wintreath
    Skirfa of the 12th, 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 25th, 26th, 27th and 29th Sessions of the Underhusen
    Former Thane of Information
    His Majesty's Court Pet
    Kingdom of Great Britain
    Former Privy Councilor
    Former Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Great Britain
    Former Deputy Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Great Britain x2
    Former Member of Parliament of the Kingdom of Great Britain x4
    Former Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Kingdom of Great Britain x2
    Former Lord of Parliament of the Kingdom of Great Britain x4
    Formerly His Royal Highness, the Viscount Telcontar of Whitby
    Ainur
    Former King of Ainur
    Former Minister of Culture of Ainur x2
    Former Minister of Foreign Affairs of Ainur x2
    Former Senator of Ainur x2
    Former Deputy Speaker of Ainur
    Other Regions
    Former Prime Minister of the British Isles
    Former Prime Minister of the New United Kingdom
    Former Culture Minister of the New United Kingdom
    Former Member of the Parliament of the Canadian Kingdom
    Former Privy Councillor in the Canadian Kingdom
    Former Member of Parliament of the United Kingdom
    [/center]
    • The Potato Pope
    Crushita
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    Arenado
  • Citizen
  • Some Random Guy
  • Now, would anybody be up for a CKII game today?

    I know HannahB was interested. Anybody else?

    Depends on the time.
    I Hope You Have A Nice Day :]
    Arenado
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    Seroim
  • Former Citizen
  • Damn that's hot...I bet you're great at dirty talk. :p

    /completely irrelevant comment :D

    It depends. I generally don't talk much, too much turns me off. It's all about moderation. I like to do a bit of talk, I like to hear it too, as long as it's just a bit. There must be the right mood, and the right girl. But yes, I've been told I'm good at it.

    I don't even know why I'm writing to you about this shit. Would you like to know anything else about my sex life and/or capabilities while we're at it?

    Bad day?

    Every day is a bad day when forced to contend with atrociously stupid design decisions in gaming.

    I hate playing a game that is overall great and then bam, there's that simple completely inane thing that pretty much ruins the game. What good is a game about your dynasty if you can't even control your breeding? I'm a fucking medieval eugenicist : I breed for beneficial traits and my retarded/not good enough sons become monks or dead. That's what CK2 is about. Half the game really is breeding good heirs because without great heirs you'll never accomplish much. Now of course it is mostly a random process since your child may or may not inherit the genetic traits you want and may be riddled with some you don't want; choosing your spouse is the single sole way for the player to "engineer" his dynasty. Sometimes I marry for alliances, sometimes I marry only for traits, sometimes I can get both and that makes me fucking happy. Yes, it's a bit gamey, but CK2's a game.

    Yet for your wife to love strange dick so much nullifies it completely. I repeat, in most of my games, my wives can't get enough dick. 60 years old cocks, 16 years old cocks, French, Bohemian, Lithuanian, Danish penises, it matters not to them, as long as they're getting pecker-slapped, it's all good. My wives in semen are as happy as pigs in shit, rolling around and all. Some of the guys my wives got fucked by were such terrible characters too : shitty low-level demesnes, low single digit stats, at least one bad genetic trait, terrible personality that would probably get you committed in the real world, and best of all, an STD. They were simply completely awful in every sense of the word. Yet they banged my wife and gave her terrible offspring that I have to deal with, so a part of player agency is robbed away from me. Women are supposed to choose based on traits but I find that they don't reject terrible suitors often enough. Sometimes the wives get pregnant from imported semen so much that my character can't even tumble them himself. This is so because the Seduction events fire CONSTANTLY and you can just spam them until the woman accepts, and the AI is way too easy and chooses too often to be seduced. If they lowered the rate at which they fire or made it much less likely for women to accept, it'd be fine. But now it's just too fucking powerful.

    From a gameplay perspective, Seduction is a disaster, but it's not even consistent with history or logic. Fidelity was a huge fucking deal in medieval times, especially in noble families because of the need to establish lineage/pedigree. There is just no way a good, noble Catholic wife would allow every man who looks at her to stick it in her ass. It's completely ahistorical. And second, as I wrote above, even the worst guy in the world can turn into Casanova with Seduction. Why would my Genius wife fuck a Slow guy? A Dwarf, for fuck's sake? One of the guys one of my wives cheated on me with was a fucking midget!

    And they're not fixing it too. I'm not holding my breath, it took them years to fix the antipope bug. But right now, if I wanna play CK2, I turn off Way of Life entirely. Mostly I don't play it anymore. I think I should mod my game, surely there's a mod out there that fixes this fucking bullshit.

    Funny. I've never aught my wife cheating. And most of my vassals aren't taking seduction focus.

    Though then again, when I played Duchess of Matilda of Tuscany I got BOMBARDED by seduction offers after like 3 years. It was ridiculous, like, I would either get the 70 year old Prince Bishop of Bremen or one of my vassals hitting on me, alternating.

    Still I mean, I seduced like everybody who hated me because I was a woman so perhaps that was why.... xD

    You aren't catching your wife cheating because the rate at which that event fires is quite low. In other words, your character is a fucking fool. Once I was playing near Africa and my wife got the thirst for a big black cock and got pregnant, my character didn't even put two and two together. "Hmm, my wife is white, I am white, but this new baby has brown skin, coarse black hair and looks nothing like me. He must be mine!" I was so furious that I alt+F4'd out.

    Yes, the bombardment you suffered while playing Matilda is pretty much par for the course for any woman with decent claims or a high rank. That's the big problem. Seduction events fire at a fully spinning Gatling gun rate and AI women pick to get seduced much too often even if the suitors are bad characters. At this point the only chance you have is picking a Chaste wife, but it also lowers your fertility.

    It used to be much worse (which is saying something) because at one point tons of fuckers around the world would pick Seduction. It wasn't that rare for you or your wife to be courted by 10+ men at the same time, but while you had the good sense of telling all of them to fuck off if you were playing a woman, an AI wife would assent so quickly to everybody that she probably got gangbanged a few times. She probably showed up to court after being bukkake'd with the splooge still flowing down her face and my character is such a bumbling idiot that he probably kissed her and just said "tastes a bit salty". There were literal plagues of STDs running around, so much that sometimes it was hard to find a wife without the pox. It was crazy. They fixed it a bit but not nearly enough.
    « Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 09:59:42 PM by Seroim »
    Seroim
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    • The Court Derpster
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    Wintermoot
  • Regional Stability Squad
  • The Greyscale Magi-Monk
  • It depends. I generally don't talk much, too much turns me off. It's all about moderation. I like to do a bit of talk, I like to hear it too, as long as it's just a bit. There must be the right mood, and the right girl. But yes, I've been told I'm good at it.

    I don't even know why I'm writing to you about this shit. Would you like to know anything else about my sex life and/or capabilities while we're at it?
    All kinds! But nothing I could fit into the context of the discussion...should the opportunity arise in the future though I won't be shy. :P


    I went all the way to Cassadega to commune with the dead
    They said "You'd better look alive"
    Wintermoot
    • The Greyscale Magi-Monk
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