This is not something I do with ease, as I think most who come on here deserve a chance. However, I gave Gov countless warnings to leave me alone, and he refuses to stop. And so I would like to present a case against Govindia for his continued harassment against me.
In IRC on the previous night, I came in having a bad day, and was talking to another member about it. He came in and interjected with talking about his cat, which I was alright with since I understand the feeling of losing a pet. However, being as I was having my own issues that day, I wasn't in the mood to talk about it. He queried me, said my name in the chat a couple of times, and used Zaphyr to get my attention just so that I would look at a picture and respond sympathetic to him (which I'll note he practically told every member that popped in to look at the same picture). Thank you to Mooty for giving me the logs:
That in itself resorted to this:
Evidence #2 of harassmentWhich you'll see that I repeatedly had asked him to stop, cited that I've asked him before in the past to stop doing similar things, and asked him to cease the argument in the thread (as it was getting off topic), and move it to PM. He did not, and proceeded to continue. He only stopped after other members including Wintermoot had said something to him about it. Eventually, he DID move it to PM, which resorted to this:
PM to myself and Wintermoot
And once again, you and everyone else miss the whole point of why I was upset.
Before you say "I do understand", you clearly don't because you're justifying Pengu's inappropriate behaviour.
Pay attention and read every word I say carefully.
I was upset, and I wanted someone to talk to. I thought I could talk to Pengu because I TRUSTED him to actually care about how I feel.
Yes, I also have feelings too.
While it was evident that Pengu was worried about the situation with his friend's dog, it was not clear to me that A. he was having a bad day, or B. he was upset overall at the day. Not everyone reads into everything as clearly as you all may, and it wasn't clear to me.
In any event, if Pengu didn't want to speak to me, or was not ABLE to speak to me, for the above reason, he should have had the logical, reasonable, courtesy to speak to me to tell me he was not able to speak to me, or at the very least, acknowledge that I was trying to talk to him.. I can't read his mind, and passive-aggressive behaviour does not work for me, and you all should realise by now that DIRECT communication works with me.
That means that instead of ignoring me and not responding, he should have done this:
Pengu: Hey, I saw what you said above Gov, when I'm a bit more calm I can talk to you about it, ok?
OR
Pengu: Hey, I saw what you said, but I am not able to speak to you right now because I'm not in a great mood right now.
OR something to those effects.
I would have accepted those type of responses because those were DIRECT communicative responses, and they were showing that he ACKNOWLEDGED what I said. Proper polite etiquiette. It's about reasonable common courtesy. If he had said that, I would have calmed a bit more down and spoke to someone else who actually CARED about how I felt.
If people actually cared about how I felt, they would have said something reasonable about the post I made on the previous page without justifying or defending Pengu's unreasonable actions. I am upset about how I was feeling yesterday, and it was aggravated even further by the fact that I was deliberately ignored without even being given a reasonable courtesy of acknowledgment.
I'm sorry I wasn't aware of Pengu being upset and that I wasn't able to pick up on it. If he communicated better, I would have responded better.
This is boiling down to a lack of communication here on his part, and neither of you can blame me for his unwillingness to even acknowledge I said something to him and his unwiillingness to communicate to me.
If Nox or anyone else reached out to him, he wouldn't have behaved this way.
I have feelings too, just like you all, and THEY ALSO matter. If people claim they understand how I felt, then they shouldn't have to keep on criticising me or defending Pengu's actions here. My feelings matter as much as PEngu's feelings here.
My frustration here is in the fact that I am being blamed for someone else's lack of communication and unwillingness to give me any courtesy of an acknowledgment. If someone else came to him about something they would not be treated like I was.
If you guys really understand where I am coming from, know this is what the issue is. Communication.
Which came off as extraordinarily disrespectful considering how I had responded to him in the thread to him and had answered why I hadn't responded to him (and considering he had completely ignored my post in the thread that was above him, that in itself was disrespectful in saying that I wasn't considering his feelings considering he was doing the same). Almost everything he was saying about me is something that equally could be said of him as well.
Now, I was willing to give him a shot, granted, even after all of that. And then, this happened via Query several moments ago:
IRC Query
<Govindia>: hi? can we talk?
<Pengu>: What's up?
<Govindia>: Can we talk ?
<Govindia>: ?
<Govindia>: ?
<Pengu>: Sure, what's up?
<Pengu>: and sorry, I've been going between gaming and being on here, depending on how much discussion is happening.
<Govindia>: Ok, for starters, I'm separating the issues, the stuff in the PM, vs. the content of this: http://wintreath.com/forums/index.php?topic=3.msg33561#msg33561
<Govindia>: the PM, I need you to understand I was upset with your lack of direct communication.
<Govindia>: I always deal in direct communication. Anything else to me is either ignorant or disrespectful
<Pengu>: :\
<Govindia>: I am speaking to you respectfully.
<Pengu>: I've gone over with it with you before on the thread and in the chat. When it's something you constantly pester me about with queries, saying my name 10+ times, and using Zaphyr to get my attention, then I ignore it because I hate being pushed like that.
<Govindia>: The context of the post, that I linked above, i would like you to respond without referring to our argument. The argument I am resolving, or hope to resolve, with you privately be it via PM and/or here .
<Govindia>: Pengu, you should have responded and communicated to me rather than just being passive at.
<Pengu>: I don't care how you think I should respond.
<Pengu>: I honestly don't.
<Govindia>: There is no harm in responding directly when someone is trying to get a hold of you.
<Govindia>: Had you communicated better, this issue would not have happened.
<Pengu>: Now please drop the issue. What's done is done, and continually harassing me about how I should go about it is just pointless.
<Govindia>: I want you to acknowledge that you were wrong in how you miscommunicated.
<Govindia>: You're not free from blame on this.
<Pengu>: I'm not acknowledging shit.
<Pengu>: Because you're not acknowledging that you won't leave me the fuck alone when I've respectfully asked you to.
<Govindia>: Do you not care about how others feel? Why is it only your feelings matter?
<Pengu>: I could ask you the same thing.
<Govindia>: My feelings matter as much as yours and that's fact.
<Pengu>: Gove.
<Pengu>: Gov*
<Pengu>: Last warning.
<Pengu>: Stop pestering me, and drop it.
<Govindia>: Are you going to respond to the post separately or no?
<Pengu>: I told you, I'm not responding to shit.
<Pengu>: Because I've already responded.
<Govindia>: and I'm not pestering you, I'm trying to resolve an issue with you.
<Pengu>: Countless times.
<Govindia>: no you didn't.
<Pengu>: ...
<Govindia>: You defended your actions, you didn't really respond to it.
<Pengu>: I responded as I saw was the most respectful response to it.
<Govindia>: Your response was "Gov's feelings don't matter, only Pengu's and everyone else's."
<Pengu>: If you can't understand that, that's your own problem.
<Pengu>: Thank you for ignoring my response, and have a good day.
<Govindia>: Saying how you understand how I feel while trying to defend your poor communication skills is not showing you understand how others feel.
<Govindia>: So thank you for showing you don't care how I feel. I at least tried talking to you.
<Govindia>: Only Pengu matters, and Gov's feelings are never considered.
If I sound utterly pissed in that Query, it's because I am. I have asked him many times to drop the issue and leave me alone, and he is failing to do so. His continued harassing of me of the issue is getting completely out of hand, and I'm done with it. I've given him a good number of chances to drop it and move on, and since he's failing to cease, I'm therefore filing a complaint.
