Music plays as the Socks News logo appears on the screen, the camera cuts to two reporters at their desk.John: Good afternoon and welcome to Socks News at 6, I'm John Jacobson here with co reporter Jacob Johnson.
Jacob: Yes hello and thank you for tuning in, and apologies for it being a bit later in the day. We just finished negotiations with the duck...it seems that it had a claim on one of our toasters, so we made a deal and offered a trade in scotch tape. It seems the duck was overjoyed by such a thing, and decided to use it against its stalker which happened to be a fox.
John: Meghan, I think its name was. Meghan the Fox. Our on-the-field guy Larry followed the duck named Howard, though by the time he got there Meghan was wrapped in what looked to be a cocoon of scotch tape.
Jacob: It was kinda funny, kind of felt bad for Meghan, though.
John: Kinda. In our top story tonight, is Arenado a Damsel in distress? Reports claim that he was talking of being trapped in a tower and crying for help...though sources are baffled on this since, when asked, he simply says it's a tower of his mind...or something to that effect.
Jacob: Maybe it's a symbolic tower? Like he just feels like he's too high up on an emotional or philosophical level and needs help getting down?
John: Or he's just high as a kite.
Jacob: That's also possible. In other news, Marzipan's mom gives people's faces values. Are you a 10? Or just a sad 1? According to sources closest to Marzipan's mom, there is no actual numerical source and this was, in fact, "just a joke." But I mean if I were her, I'd make it a real thing. Like John's face is definitely a 10.
John: Aw that's...that's sweet. Your face is a 10 as well.
The two look at each other for a moment, and move in slowly for a kiss. The cameras cut out before such a thing occurs as a "Please stand by" logo appears momentarily. The logo disappears, and the two reporters are back in their areas in a neutral emotional state.Jacob: Sorry about those technical issues folks. Our next story: Is romance on the hills for Arenado and Ruguo?
John: Things really seem to be developing quite a bit between these ones, don't they? Arenado being jealous and dismissive of Marzipan's potential wedding bells with ExLight and threatening him if he ever pursued anything with her...and now there's potential chemistry between Arenado and Ruguo? I swear, it's almost becoming some weird pattern.
Jacob: Indeed. Aside from sharing similar styles of conversation, they also seem to have a penchant for specific material. Arenado talking of large stone towers within his head, Ruguo seemingly focusing more on the emotional parts of the internal...though I did find it fascinating that at one point they referenced a very popular movie.
John: Oh you mean An American Werewolf in London?
Jacob: Yeah, that's the one!
John: Great movie, that. More people definitely need to watch that one.
Jacob: That they do.
John: In other news, was the man who owned the store responsible for the war after 1934? Sources say: Probably.
Jacob: The man who owned the store, simply known affectionately as Ado, had at one point also been a painter, though his own history seems to be a bit obscured. Some folks say that he was scorned by a lover and swore revenge...only to carry it out much later in his life. Others say that he just grew up bad and made awful choices. And then some folks say that we're confusing him with someone entirely different, and that Ado grew up old and happy owning the same store he always has while raising a lovely family. Personally though, I don't believe that.
John: Nor do I. Anyone knows that if you own a store, you're not happy.
Jacob: Right. Also, is there a serial killer on the prowl? We tried asking Glorious Bob since he seems to know quite a bit to where we rely on him as a source.
John: Unfortunately he was nowhere to be found, muttering something about Dolby before he disappeared.
Jacob: What it is about Dolby, we don't know. We were told by the station manager to follow Glorious Bob's hunch, though to no avail. Though according to the station manager, Glorious Bob is never wrong, so we'll probably be following him again in the future for more hunches.
John: Let's just hope they're good, I just wish our station manager would--
The cameras cut out again as a "Please stand by" logo appears momentarily. The logo disappears, and the two reporters are back in their areas in a neutral emotional state.Jacob: And that's all the time we have for now. Thanks for tuning in. Please join us next time on Socks News.
Music plays as the two reporters talk casually inaudibly as the screen fades to black. This time, there's slightly more noticeable agitation in John's demeanor.