Where good news is replaced by fart jokes.
CITIZENS TO BE MICROCHIPPED IN WINTREATHStated to “protect interests of the people”
An actual photo taken inside of the Wintreath Defense building.In an astounding address to the region last Friday, it was announced that Wintreath would start installing microchips into all of their citizens. This news comes shortly after Jarl Gerrick was caught in a scandal with two women from the region of South Pacific...though the Monarch himself has made it clear that this scandal has nothing to do with the decision to microchip his citizens. “I just think this is a step in the right direction to make Wintreath a safer region.” says Wintermoot. “We’ve been under siege by undercover spies of the Funkadelia regime, and I think this method will be effective in weeding those spies out of our region.” Chanku, a long time on again off again member of government was also asked what he thought of this news. “I think it’s ridiculous. The government needs to stay the way it is and stop interfering with people’s lives.” When asked about his own forays into laws concerning the well-being of others, he declined to comment. Wintermoot believes the whole region will be microchipped in the scope of 2-3 years. We’ll have more as the story develops.
THINGS THAT ARE HOTAnd good for Tiny.
Hot cocoa is hot. Tiny loves cocoa.
Hot Topic no hot. Tiny no like Hot Topic.
Fires are hot. Tiny likes watching fire when watching bandicoots burn.
Ice cream no hot, but Tiny love ice cream. Tiny love Cocoa Crunch.
PICTURE OF THE MONTH
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
INTERVIEW WITH A STRANGERCortex: Hello everyone, I'm Doctor Neo Cortex. Today I have the absolute pleasure of interviewing a special guest, and asking him some very important questions about the state of our world.
Trump: Wait a minute, this isn’t Hooters. Where am I?
Cortex: My dear boy, I didn’t say “Hooters,” I said that this would be a ”Hoot.”
Trump: are you saying I’m an owl?
Cortex: What?
Trump: Because if you are, then I don’t appreciate you making fun of me, and clearly you must be allies with North Korea and Gina.
Cortex: I’m sorry, Gina?
Trump: Derr, I don’t know what “Gina” is. It’s somewhere on a US map with slanty eyed people and I don’t know what it is, derr.
Cortex: Wait, do you mean “China?”
Trump: It’s pronounced Gina. Gina. GINA.
Cortex: Moving on, how do you feel about Obamacare?
Trump: I hate it. Next question.
Cortex: And how do you feel about the Democrats?
Trump: I hate them. Next question.
Cortex: And how do you feel about your daughter, Ivanka?
Trump: Pass.
Cortex: Alright, and how do you feel about Putin?
Trump: He’s a pretty alright guy if I do say so myself. He’s strong, stoic, and he has a great set of abs.
Cortex: Wait...what?
Trump: Yeah, I mean you could cook a steak on those things.
Cortex: I don’t think we’re talking about the same guy here.
Trump: Sure we are. My Russian friend, my comrade, my bosom buddy, my secret lover.
Cortex: Oookay then. I think we’re done here folks. Thanks for your time Mr. Trump, it was...illuminating.
Trump: Who told you?!
Cortex: told me what?
Trump:...nevermind. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go sneer at the less fortunate.
The Vanishing of Ethan CarterA beautiful short game with a twist!
One of the many areas in this beautiful yet tragic world.So lately I’ve been devoting less time to actually finishing games, more time to just diving into more as they appear. I’ve actually been considering this title for a while since it looked like something that appealed to me. However, as countless other games have come into view, I’ve never actually taken the time to really check this game out.
Finally, I caved in and bought it on a whim, and I have to say I was actually pleasantly surprised. The Vanishing of Ethan Carter is exactly as it sounds: a story about a detective on a case to find a missing boy by the name of Ethan Carter. The search takes our protagonist to what looks to be an abandoned island or connection of islands, and that’s where the game starts. It’s a game that’s simplistic in the ways of walking around and finding stuff, and occasionally putting sequences in order...deducing how certain murders took place. The game ends up being more about admiring the actually rather beautiful and large world that the creators have made, and getting bits and pieces of the real story here and there. There are parts that get exceptionally weird, such as when you experience the occasional stories you’ll find written by young Ethan. At first it seems like an odd mechanic that detracts from the gameplay...but then the twist comes into play, and it all makes sense.
The game is a good few-hour jaunt if slightly less, but it’s well worth the price tag. For the first time in a while, it’s game I played that actually ended on a really sad note. The character doesn’t rap up the case in a happy fashion where everyone is united together. In fact, it ends on possibly the most depressing note I can think of in this kind of game.
But you know what? Despite it ending on a note that almost made me drop my jaw in shock, I’d play it again in a heartbeat. The environment was beautifully made, the story was interesting enough, the gameplay was not bad despite being simplistic, the music was excellent for the feel of it, and overall it was just a pretty solid game. Could it have been better? Sure. For what it was though, I’m glad I took the chance and played through the Vanishing of Ethan Carter.
