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Grammar Check of Wintreath
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Mathyland
  • Citizen
  • Wintreath's Potato Archbishop and Official Grammar Police
  • Constitutional Law
    Quote from: taulover
    Arguably not; "Lord" is occasionally used as a title for females. So we should probably have a discussion on this before amending it as a typo.
    It was actually HannahB who first pointed this out to me in the IRC. I like the discussion idea.

    Quote from: taulover
    Amending amendments... somehow I find this nitpicking both satisfying and amusing. :D
    I almost checked the Underhusen Procedure Amendments, but that would have been too much :D.
    Royal Decrees
    I'm not sure I agree that all of those are style choices, but it doesn't matter too much here, so I'll just keep the first comma error and ignore the other two.
    Treaties
    Quote from: taulover
    This treaty just got repealed, so no need to fix this one. :D Speaking of which, I'm pretty sure our new Speaker (or our current Speaker, @BraveSirRobin, for that matter), is responsible for maintaining the archive, so the repeal law should probably be added in and the treaty struck out. Or is @Wintermoot responsible? Don't exactly remember.
    I forgot to remove this one after it was repealed.

    Quote from: taulover
    And also you don't exorcise nations, at least not in NS. :P
    Dang it! :P

    Quote from: taulover
    Nope. This is the British/European/US military/MLA style. It's either the US style, "October 29, 2016" (with a comma), or the British style, "29 October 2016" (without a comma).
    I didn't realize this was different in the British style. All of these laws were annoying to correct because I had to learn the British style; I almost corrected all the punctuation after quotation marks but realized British was different. Why, America!?!? >:(
    Underhusen Procedure
    Quote from: taulover
    I'd argue that this is a style choice, though I personally would put a comma.
    I would argue that it's not a style choice because it's an introductory phrase.

    Quote from: taulover
    I believe that "Structural Amendments" was treated as Amendment IX (much as "Omnibus Amendments" was treated as Amendment I).
    I thought that too at first, but there are some other amendments to it in between that don't have numbers and don't offset the other Amendments' numbers.
    Quote from: taulover
    So I've just spent over an hour and a half going over your report... As Gerrick said, this must've taken forever to do. Despite my nitpickings, overall this is a very nice and thorough check of Wintrean law.

    I like Oxford commas, but I see no need to add them, as it's right either way.

    Also, considering all the comma nitpickings, I highly recommend reading the New Yorker piece "Confessions of a Comma Queen." Overall just a fun read about grammar, style, and copyediting.
    Thanks for taking the time to go over my corrections. I think you see now why it took so long for me to get around to finishing this :P
    Résumé

    Hogwarts NS:

    Co-WA Delegate: June 13, 2016-present
    Hufflepuff student: April 9, 2016-present
    House points earned: 7 (Also, 40 points were a group effort, so I earned part of that as well)
    Host of Death Eaters II

    Wintreath:

    Citizen: September 6, 2016-present

    Underhusen Terms
    The 21st Underhusen
    The 22nd Underhusen
    The 23rd Underhusen - secretary
    The 24th Underhusen
    The 25th Underhusen
    The 26th Underhusen
    The 27th Underhusen

    Other:

    NationStates nation: March 11, 2016-present

    [/i]
    Mathyland
    • Wintreath's Potato Archbishop and Official Grammar Police
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      Valeria
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    Mathyland
  • Citizen
  • Wintreath's Potato Archbishop and Official Grammar Police
  • Since I don't know if just including the quote author notifies the person, I'll add in an @taulover here.
    Résumé

    Hogwarts NS:

    Co-WA Delegate: June 13, 2016-present
    Hufflepuff student: April 9, 2016-present
    House points earned: 7 (Also, 40 points were a group effort, so I earned part of that as well)
    Host of Death Eaters II

    Wintreath:

    Citizen: September 6, 2016-present

    Underhusen Terms
    The 21st Underhusen
    The 22nd Underhusen
    The 23rd Underhusen - secretary
    The 24th Underhusen
    The 25th Underhusen
    The 26th Underhusen
    The 27th Underhusen

    Other:

    NationStates nation: March 11, 2016-present

    [/i]
    Mathyland
    • Wintreath's Potato Archbishop and Official Grammar Police
    • Posts: 2,937
    • Karma: 681
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      Familial House
      Valeria
      Wintreath Nation
      Logged
    taulover
  • Regional Stability Squad
  • Seeker of Knowledge
  • Since I don't know if just including the quote author notifies the person, I'll add in an @taulover here.
    Apparently it does. Interesting.
    Treaties
    Quote from: taulover
    Nope. This is the British/European/US military/MLA style. It's either the US style, "October 29, 2016" (with a comma), or the British style, "29 October 2016" (without a comma).
    I didn't realize this was different in the British style. All of these laws were annoying to correct because I had to learn the British style; I almost corrected all the punctuation after quotation marks but realized British was different. Why, America!?!? >:(
    I am surprised, though, given your interest in grammar and style, that you haven't seen the MLA date format before. :P
    Underhusen Procedure
    Quote from: taulover
    I'd argue that this is a style choice, though I personally would put a comma.
    I would argue that it's not a style choice because it's an introductory phrase.
    Commas are not required after short introductory prepositional phrases, though they may be added for clarity.
    Quote from: taulover
    I believe that "Structural Amendments" was treated as Amendment IX (much as "Omnibus Amendments" was treated as Amendment I).
    I thought that too at first, but there are some other amendments to it in between that don't have numbers and don't offset the other Amendments' numbers.
    Right. I'd mark it off as an inconsistency that's more a hassle to fix than to keep, especially as any earlier references to the Procedural Rules would then be wrong.
    Royal Decrees
    I'm not sure I agree that all of those are style choices, but it doesn't matter too much here, so I'll just keep the first comma error and ignore the other two.
    Looking them up, because why not... :P

    The first should probably have a comma because it's after a conditional.

    The second does not need a comma, though it can probably be added, because it's a short introductory prepositional phrase (I think?).

    The third involves "as," for which the rule is basically to add a comma if need for clarity.
    Résumé
    Wintreath:
    Citizen: 8 April 2015 - present
    From the Ashes RP Game Master: 29 November 2015 - 24 July 2018
    Skydande Vakt Marshal: 29 November 2015 - 28 February 2017
    Skrifa of the 13th Underhusen: 13 December 2015 - 8 February 2016
    RP Guild Councillor: 9 February 2016 - 6 March 2018
    Ambassador to Lovely: 23 February 2016 - 17 August 2016
    Werewolf VII co-host: 11 May 2016 - 5 June 2016
    Skrifa of the 18th Underhusen: 8 October 2016 - 7 December 2016
    Ambassador to Balder: 1 December 2016 - 1 March 2022
    Skrifa of the 19th Underhusen: 7 December 2016 - 9 February 2017
    Ambassador to the INWU: 11 March 2017 - 1 March 2022
    Ambassador to the Versutian Federation: 18 August 2017 - 22 March 2018
    Thane of Integration: 29 September 2017 - 7 March 2018
    Speaker of the 24th Underhusen: 10 October 2017 - 7 December 2017
    October 2017 Wintreath's Finest: 4 November 2017
    Speaker pro tempore of the 25th Underhusen: 9 December 2017 - 7 February 2018
    Wintreath's Finest of 2017: 6 January 2018
    Werewolf XIV host: 20 January 2018 - 23 February 2018
    February 2018 Wintreath's Finest: 5 March 2018
    Thane of Embassy Dispatches / Foreign Releases and Information / Foreign Dispatches: 7 March 2018 - 15 March 2020
    Speaker of the 28th Underhusen: 10 June 2018 - 7 August 2018
    Second Patriarch of the Noble House of Valeria: 10 October 2018 - present
    Arena Game 6 Host: 28 December 2018 - 9 March 2019
    Librarian of the Underhusen: 29 January 2019 - 12 February 2019
    Speaker of the 32nd Underhusen: 12 February 2019 - 8 April 2019
    March 2019 Wintreath's Finest: 4 April 2019
    Librarian of the Underhusen: 12 April 2019 - 23 October 2020
    Commendation of Wintreath: 24 September 2020
    Peer of the Overhusen: 9 December 2020 - 8 February 2021
    Vice Chancellor of the Landsraad: 26 May 2021 - 15 September 2022
    Arena Game 8 Host: 10 June 2021 - 19 July 2021
    June 2021 Wintreath's Finest: 5 July 2021
    Regional Stability Squad: 28 February 2023 - present
    Minecraft Server Admin: 8 March 2023 - present

    Aura Hyperia/New Hyperion:
    Plebeian: 16 April 2014 - 21 July 2014
    Patrician: 21 July 2014 - present
    Adeptus Mechanicus: 24 October 2014 - 16 November 2014
    Co-founder of New Hyperion: 29 October 2014 - present
    Lord of Propaganda: 16 November 2014 - present
    Mapmaker for Official Region RP: 27 November 2015 - present
    WACom Delegate: 11 November 2017 - present
    Other positions: Hyperian Guardsman, Hyperian Marine (Rank: Scout)
    taulover
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    Mathyland
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  • Wintreath's Potato Archbishop and Official Grammar Police
  • Quote from: taulover
    I am surprised, though, given your interest in grammar and style, that you haven't seen the MLA date format before. :P
    I've only seen the American MLA date format before. This (and the sources listed at the bottom) says that there's an American version and a universal/British version.

    I didn't know that short introductory prepositional phrases don't require commas, so that would have helped to know.
    Résumé

    Hogwarts NS:

    Co-WA Delegate: June 13, 2016-present
    Hufflepuff student: April 9, 2016-present
    House points earned: 7 (Also, 40 points were a group effort, so I earned part of that as well)
    Host of Death Eaters II

    Wintreath:

    Citizen: September 6, 2016-present

    Underhusen Terms
    The 21st Underhusen
    The 22nd Underhusen
    The 23rd Underhusen - secretary
    The 24th Underhusen
    The 25th Underhusen
    The 26th Underhusen
    The 27th Underhusen

    Other:

    NationStates nation: March 11, 2016-present

    [/i]
    Mathyland
    • Wintreath's Potato Archbishop and Official Grammar Police
    • Posts: 2,937
    • Karma: 681
    • Citizen
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      Valeria
      Wintreath Nation
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    taulover
  • Regional Stability Squad
  • Seeker of Knowledge
  • Quote from: taulover
    I am surprised, though, given your interest in grammar and style, that you haven't seen the MLA date format before. :P
    I've only seen the American MLA date format before. This (and the sources listed at the bottom) says that there's an American version and a universal/British version.
    MLA is an American organization, and despite that, most examples you'll see out there place the European date format as the default. I've had many teachers require it, in fact.
    Résumé
    Wintreath:
    Citizen: 8 April 2015 - present
    From the Ashes RP Game Master: 29 November 2015 - 24 July 2018
    Skydande Vakt Marshal: 29 November 2015 - 28 February 2017
    Skrifa of the 13th Underhusen: 13 December 2015 - 8 February 2016
    RP Guild Councillor: 9 February 2016 - 6 March 2018
    Ambassador to Lovely: 23 February 2016 - 17 August 2016
    Werewolf VII co-host: 11 May 2016 - 5 June 2016
    Skrifa of the 18th Underhusen: 8 October 2016 - 7 December 2016
    Ambassador to Balder: 1 December 2016 - 1 March 2022
    Skrifa of the 19th Underhusen: 7 December 2016 - 9 February 2017
    Ambassador to the INWU: 11 March 2017 - 1 March 2022
    Ambassador to the Versutian Federation: 18 August 2017 - 22 March 2018
    Thane of Integration: 29 September 2017 - 7 March 2018
    Speaker of the 24th Underhusen: 10 October 2017 - 7 December 2017
    October 2017 Wintreath's Finest: 4 November 2017
    Speaker pro tempore of the 25th Underhusen: 9 December 2017 - 7 February 2018
    Wintreath's Finest of 2017: 6 January 2018
    Werewolf XIV host: 20 January 2018 - 23 February 2018
    February 2018 Wintreath's Finest: 5 March 2018
    Thane of Embassy Dispatches / Foreign Releases and Information / Foreign Dispatches: 7 March 2018 - 15 March 2020
    Speaker of the 28th Underhusen: 10 June 2018 - 7 August 2018
    Second Patriarch of the Noble House of Valeria: 10 October 2018 - present
    Arena Game 6 Host: 28 December 2018 - 9 March 2019
    Librarian of the Underhusen: 29 January 2019 - 12 February 2019
    Speaker of the 32nd Underhusen: 12 February 2019 - 8 April 2019
    March 2019 Wintreath's Finest: 4 April 2019
    Librarian of the Underhusen: 12 April 2019 - 23 October 2020
    Commendation of Wintreath: 24 September 2020
    Peer of the Overhusen: 9 December 2020 - 8 February 2021
    Vice Chancellor of the Landsraad: 26 May 2021 - 15 September 2022
    Arena Game 8 Host: 10 June 2021 - 19 July 2021
    June 2021 Wintreath's Finest: 5 July 2021
    Regional Stability Squad: 28 February 2023 - present
    Minecraft Server Admin: 8 March 2023 - present

    Aura Hyperia/New Hyperion:
    Plebeian: 16 April 2014 - 21 July 2014
    Patrician: 21 July 2014 - present
    Adeptus Mechanicus: 24 October 2014 - 16 November 2014
    Co-founder of New Hyperion: 29 October 2014 - present
    Lord of Propaganda: 16 November 2014 - present
    Mapmaker for Official Region RP: 27 November 2015 - present
    WACom Delegate: 11 November 2017 - present
    Other positions: Hyperian Guardsman, Hyperian Marine (Rank: Scout)
    taulover
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    Mathyland
  • Citizen
  • Wintreath's Potato Archbishop and Official Grammar Police
  • I forgot to point this out earlier, but why is Decree 010 still not in the laws page? @Wintermoot
    1 person likes this post: taulover
    Résumé

    Hogwarts NS:

    Co-WA Delegate: June 13, 2016-present
    Hufflepuff student: April 9, 2016-present
    House points earned: 7 (Also, 40 points were a group effort, so I earned part of that as well)
    Host of Death Eaters II

    Wintreath:

    Citizen: September 6, 2016-present

    Underhusen Terms
    The 21st Underhusen
    The 22nd Underhusen
    The 23rd Underhusen - secretary
    The 24th Underhusen
    The 25th Underhusen
    The 26th Underhusen
    The 27th Underhusen

    Other:

    NationStates nation: March 11, 2016-present

    [/i]
    Mathyland
    • Wintreath's Potato Archbishop and Official Grammar Police
    • Posts: 2,937
    • Karma: 681
    • Citizen
    • Pronouns
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      Familial House
      Valeria
      Wintreath Nation
      Logged
    Wintermoot
  • Regional Stability Squad
  • The Greyscale Magi-Monk
  • Technical issue with editing laws that I haven't gotten around to fixing yet.
    2 people like this post: Mathyland, taulover


    I went all the way to Cassadega to commune with the dead
    They said "You'd better look alive"
    Wintermoot
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