The Quarians were kinda asking for it.
The Geth just wanted to be left the fuck alone, goddammit. They didn't even initiate the war.
I knew that not everyone in the Quarian fleet wanted to fight the Geth either, but faced with only those choices, I decided to save the civilisation that was overall more well-meaning.
And I maxed out my Paragon count too, in all the games. I just made piss-poor decisions. I opted to have Tali exiled, for instance, because I wanted her to get away from the war-mongering influence of her people, even though I could have persuaded the generals to let her stay without revealing her father's crimes. They were just too militaristic, and they justified the extermination of a sentient life-form they'd created. I pretty much viewed them as little better than the Nazis.
Then I chose to reprogram the Heretic Geth instead of destroying them. Those two things in combination destroyed all hope of peace between the Quarians and Geth.
Gods, I still remember how horrified I was when the fleet got blown up and Tali removed her helmet before jumping off a cliff, killing herself.
EDIT: Also, it was quite possible to have people die if you didn't upgrade your ship fully, and if you made terrible decisions during the Suicide Mission. If you took your sweet time getting to that mission, your entire kidnapped crew could get melted down in front of your eyes just as you arrived too. They could have done it better, to be sure, but I was quite satisfied with it. At least some actual effort went into all the Mass Effect games. It's pretty much just 3's ending, and the whole War Assets thing, along with mandatory multiplayer to get the highest possible Galactic Readiness Rating, that truly left a bitter taste on my mouth in Mass Effect 3. The writing and dialogue took a hit in 3 too, but it was nothing I couldn't live with.