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I've gone against my Sultan, the highest act of treason. But I had good intentions! I did it for a reason! They'll kill me if I'm lucky (they'll torture me if not). What made me think that I could get away with such a plot? It's not too late to bring it back; perhaps I'll be forgiven...! But if my crime can help improve the world we all must live in.... Am I not bound by duty to the people of this nation?

How does the Golden Rule apply in such a situation?

As a citizen, I think I would be grateful for the aid, but if I were the Sultan, I should hate to be betrayed. Whichever road I take I'll be incuring someone's wrath! 'Til now I've always traveled down the straight and narrow path. Temptation may have beckoned, but I always have resisted, but which way do I turn when the road's become so... so....

Twisted?

Who are you?

A fellow traveler down a twisted path.

I know you, from Sherrezade's stories!

Uh-uh-uh! You think you know me, as others think they know you. But there are two sides to every story. I used to be the ruler of the ocean. I was benevolent, and always kept my word. But my brother held the antiquated notion that women should be seen and never heard. So he dethroned me then disowned me and on top of that? Rezoned me to the outskirts of the kingdom in a cave. Took my scepter and my crown, though I tried to take him down, the truth and I now share a watery grave...!

The story lingers on, but the version that is drawn is twisted.

A pain I know all too well. The pride had never seen a more progressive king than me. Both lion and hyena lived in perfect harmony. I brought an end to what had been a senseless age-old feud. I was prepared for anything except for what ensued! My brother ate my heirs⁠—my precious cubs⁠—and stole my throne, returned to segregation and the hateful ways we'd known. Though I'd advocate for unity I always was denounced! So when I saw an opportunity to right the wrong... I pounced!

The pride came before my fall in a fate that one might call, well, twisted. They weren't ready for my ideas.

No, they didn't hate you because of your ideas. They hated you because of that evil-looking scar on your face. Fortune favors the beautiful.

Au contraire! My only crime was love. In town there was only she who was as beautiful as me... on the inside. But then, tragedy struck! She was taken hostage in a castle filled with... demonic furniture. So I did what anyone would do and I organized a rescue mission. But how was I to know that she had fallen in love... with her captor? To me, that doesn't seem entirely healthy. Especially since he's a wolf, bear, thing. A buffalo monster! In a cape!

But the heart wants what it wants! And sometimes what it wants is twisted...!

I only wished to reclaim what was mine! I only wished for equal rights for all! I only wished to save her! I only wished to be invited to the party. I only wished to improve relations between the races! I only wished to teach the boy responsibility...! I only wished to give the people a voice! ...So he wouldn't end up like me! I only wished to love her! To help the miserable, lonely, and depressed! To be included. To live in harmony! For once! I never knew my father!

I only wished for justice! I only wished for love! I only wished for freedom! I only wished for peace! I only wished for justice! I only wished for love! I only wished for freedom! I only wished for peace! I only wished! I only wished! I only wished! I only wished—!

I only wished to have a coat made out of puppies!

You're not helping! Disregard that.

It's an unfortunate situation. But... you do have a choice.

What remains of a man when that man is dead and gone? Only memories and stories of his deeds will linger on. But if a man's accomplishments aren't in the tale they tell are the deeds that go unheralded his legacy as well? If a war breaks out tomorrow, we'll all have hell to pay. Why protect my reputation? I'm a dead man either way....

How will they tell my story? How will they tell my tale? Will anybody even care? The question then is whether 'tis nobler in the mind to be well-liked but ineffectual, or moral but maligned? I'll never be a hero who all the citizens adore, but if I hide to save my life, what has my life been for? What has my life been for?

The road ahead may twist, but I will never swerve! I'll give them all the unsung antihero they deserve. I've nothing left to lose! So the only path to choose is twisted. Let them twist my words, let the people scorn me. Who cares if no one will ever mourn me!? Let them bury the side of the story they'll never learn! Let the truth be twisted, let my life be twisted.

I'll be twisted, it's my turn!

That's nice and all, but I still win.

not now

I am that merry wanderer of the night!
I jest to Oberon and make him smile
When I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile,
Neighing in likeness of a filly foal:
And sometime lurk I in a gossip’s bowl,
In very likeness of a roasted crab,
And when she drinks, against her lips I bob
And on her wither’d dewlap pour the ale.
The wisest aunt, telling the saddest tale,
Sometime for three-foot stool mistaketh me;
Then slip I from her bum, down topples she,
And ‘tailor’ cries, and falls into a cough;
And then the whole quire hold their hips and laugh,
And waxen in their mirth and neeze and swear
A merrier hour was never wasted there!

Still the winner!

When I go out to the movies

I take up seven rows because I'm FAT! I'm fat.

Ya know it

Ya know I'm Fat, ya know it ya know

Don't you call me pudgy nor stout let me tell you once again Whose Fat?

YEET

yeet indeed

yeeto

winner winner chicken dinner

pineapple steaks

no u

Any idea when Summersend will be?