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Autumn also isn't a good time for me. Every friend, dog and close family member I've lost, has been lost in Autumn.

Sadly, I saw it coming with two of those friends because they were into some pretty heavy drugs (and eventually OD'ed), but one (the first girl I ever kissed, when we were five and curious about what we'd seen our parents do ) completely blindsided me when she committed suicide. She never cut herself, she didn't drink, smoke or do drugs of any kind, and I was honestly never even aware of how depressed she had become. Part of that was probably because we'd grown a bit apart after primary school since we didn't attend the same high school, and she didn't continue on to university at all, also coupled with the fact that we didn't see each other that often when she moved to Johannesburg, but still. Some people hide their pain too well.

@Laurentus do you wish for a hug?

No, thank you. My way of dealing with thoughts and feelings like this is to hide myself away from the world for a bit. Which obviously makes human contact problematic.

EDIT: Plus, for some reason, I experience intense grief, but move on abnormally quickly.

Ah Alright.

No, thank you. My way of dealing with thoughts and feelings like this is to hide myself away from the world for a bit. Which obviously makes human contact problematic.

EDIT: Plus, for some reason, I experience intense grief, but move on abnormally quickly.

We're...very oddly similar in that regard.  I tend to isolate myself in situations like that, though I tend to move on very quickly.

Yeah it's strange, it's not just grief but anger too. Actually, pretty much all emotion for me.

Barring my few months of depression, anyway.

I think for me it's because video games are my therapy for any negative type of emotion.  So if I'm feeling intensely frustrated, depressed, or anything of the sort...I pop in my video games so I can calm down.

Actually, I can very easily say that things would be very different right now, hell I'd either be very different right now or not even be here at all if it weren't for video games being such a major part of my life.

I doubt it. That clearly displays your coping mechanism. If it weren't videogames, it would probably be books, or movies, or anything else, really. The main point is that you take your mind off the problem until you're more equipped to process or deal with it.

I pretty much obsessively pour my energy into some sort of practical problem I could probably solve. It makes me feel a measure of control I might lack in another area of my life. I actually can't muster the energy to play video games or read books as a leisure activity when things are tough. I have to be at least in a neutral mood to do those activities. But there's always room for chess.

I blame it on differences on the brain types.    Meaning that since I'm more of a "right brain" person, the more creative outlets are what bring my mood back to a pleasant balance...such as video games, writing, and reading a good book.

Whereas where I sense you're much more of a "left brain" person, I could see more logical/practical approaches including chess being what you would use to ease yourself back down.

Funny you should mention that, since contrary to most writers, my best work comes when I'm feeling happy or enthusiastic about what I'm doing in the creative process. So I think you may be right.

But I'm definitely not the typical "left-brain" person. I'm fairly shit at keeping track of time and organising things effectively.

I have to make a constant effort to do so.

The more time passes, the more I doubt my ability to live like a human beings. From outside I look like someone who's doing project for the futur, that after a hard fall stand up again.
But I feel like I never got up from that fall. I fell and I'm still lying on the ground and the floor shallowing me slowly but surely. I don't have the strengh to move, to dig up that dirt and stand again. And I can't call for help.... because I think it's my one stupidity for not being able to stand again and I'm ashamed of myself.

The more time passes, the more I doubt my ability to live like a human beings. From outside I look like someone who's doing project for the futur, that after a hard fall stand up again.
But I feel like I never got up from that fall. I fell and I'm still lying on the ground and the floor shallowing me slowly but surely. I don't have the strengh to move, to dig up that dirt and stand again. And I can't call for help.... because I think it's my one stupidity for not being able to stand again and I'm ashamed of myself.

* Govindia hugs VidiLune

Hang in there

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For the first time since joining NS, I've decided not to participate in an April Fool's event.

The premise itself is kinda meh to begin with, but it could have at least been interesting if it hadn't been for one poor decision...the decision to allow non-WA nations to vote. Where you could have had a lot of politics going on between regions for support, instead it's just whose supporters can use/make a bunch of puppets. Even worse, there are so many puppets being created just to vote that it's hard to tell those from the legit nations, making it pretty much pointless to recruit until the event is over.

A few years ago we had the awesome Zombie Apocalypse event spawn from this...this is just an empty event whose result won't actually mean much of anything.

For the first time since joining NS, I've decided not to participate in an April Fool's event.

The premise itself is kinda meh to begin with, but it could have at least been interesting if it hadn't been for one poor decision...the decision to allow non-WA nations to vote. Where you could have had a lot of politics going on between regions for support, instead it's just whose supporters can use/make a bunch of puppets. Even worse, there are so many puppets being created just to vote that it's hard to tell those from the legit nations, making it pretty much pointless to recruit until the event is over.

A few years ago we had the awesome Zombie Apocalypse event spawn from this...this is just an empty event whose result won't actually mean much of anything.

Gib endorsements

Potato rising must happen.

A vote for Crushita is a vote for Heretic Burnings.

We failed to break the posting record set in February. We were one post behind. Wow, lol.