Post #164725
February 09, 2022, 12:41:45 AM
There's one day a month where I simply feel super crummy. It's different for everyone but for me what's missing is an emotional life. I've been single for the last 8 years.
I've thought about it a lot and the truth is there are too many sacrifices and concessions I'd be unwilling to make in order to make a relationship work. Over the last 8 years, I've become used to doing everything my way and I know that'd have to change if I were to have a live-in partner. I'm willing to make concessions but I wouldn't be able to do so 24/7. As well, I bought a house 2 years ago, which is incredible safety and security for me but most people would expect me to eventually sell and buy anew with a partner. Also, I'm 31 now and a lot of people now have kids, which I don't want to deal with in any way whatsoever. I don't want the responsibility and I don't particularly like children.
In short, my ideal relationship would be one that's perpetually in the "dating" phase if I were to have one. Hang out together when we want to, hopefully often, otherwise have our own lives. Many people have incredibly deep friendships yet they've never lived together, so I imagine developing a degree of emotional intimacy with someone else doesn't necessarily necessitate living together. However, the combination of all these things restricts my dating pool to such a degree it doesn't seem worth making an effort to look around.
If I could have my unicorn, sure, I'd jump in. But realistically, the chances aren't on my side. So I try to focus on what I do have instead of what's missing. Happiness is not simple, unfortunately. Sometime within that crummy day I realize that and the next day I feel heaps better.
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Kinda sorta subject change, COVID has made the workplace super weird. It's been way nicer for some people who now WFH for instance and can even disconnect a bit. For me it has become more and more stressful. There's a long time labour shortage in my field and it has been even worse with COVID. Now clients are also suffering labour shortages wrt machine operators and other production staff so automation is more important to them than ever. The demand for the engineering side of our services is enormous. In addition to that, we also do service calls, and due to the aforementioned field shortage, clients are also losing their maintenance depts, which results in much more demand for this side too. I'm basically juggling projects *and* on call 24/7. *Now* add to that the logistics chain clusterfucks with equipment that used to be stock from the manufacturers having 6-12 months delays.
The insane work conditions right now are even amplifying the field shortage since people burn out or just do something else. I'm not salary so it's been incredible for my wallet but after 2 years of 60 being a short week, I'm kinda over it. I love my job, I love the work, I think the field is super interesting and I feel valued and valuable and all that stuff but...it'd be just the same with a less full work load.
Work reform has been in the news for a while now, all sorts of nice stuff is floated around like the 4 days work week. It's very nice for some but all it's going to do for me is overtime will start at 32 instead of 40.
