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Option 4

Previous Issue

Due to the previous issue being tied, Zaphyr has decided on which to vote.

Wuufu: .ask option_2 or option_4
Zaphyr: Wuufu: option_2

Zaphyr Yui has adopted Option 2. The government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one.

Spoiler

Weaponization
Weapons Per Person 3.6%
 
Charmlessness
Kardashian Reflex Score 3.5%
 
Ideological Radicality
Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index 3.5%
 
Civil Rights
Martin Luther King, Jr. Units 2.6%
 
Intelligence
Quips Per Hour 1.8%
 
Corruption
Kickbacks Per Hour 1.4%
 
Inclusiveness
Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index 1.4%
 
Recreational Drug Use
Pineapple Fondness Rating 0.77%
 
Sector: Manufacturing
Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index 0.51%
 
Nudity
Cheeks Per Square Mile 0.39%
 
Crime
Crimes Per Hour 0.36%
 
Secularism
Atheism Rate 0.28%

Average Income
Phyrs 0.37%
 
Economic Output
Phyrs 0.42%
 
Safety
Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating 0.86%
 
Government Size
Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index 1.0%
 
Religiousness
Prayers Per Hour 1.0%
 
Taxation
Effective Tax Rate 1.3%
 
Tourism
Tourists Per Hour 1.7%
 
Social Conservatism
Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index 7.4%
 
Authoritarianism
Stalins 8.3%
 
Pacifism
Cheeks Turned Per Day 9.5%

The Issue

After minority student Roger Woolf was refused admission to a traditional, prestigious college, civil rights activists, conservatives, and teachers are up in arms about affirmative action and ethnic equality in education.

The Debate

• "I think you'll find there's actually no problem here," observes conservative speaker and hair care product salesperson Ariel Dimitrov. "A student wants to go to a particular school, but lacks the grades. Clearly, he should have studied harder in school. But oh, because he's a so-called minority, it's everyone else's fault. I'm sorry, but the system is working perfectly well: What gets you into a good school is merit alone. Or, failing that, a generous donation."
• "Are you blind, or do you simply refuse to see?" thunders civil-rights activist, former TV commentator and unabashed publicity speaker Hope Snow. "Oh yes, it's all perfectly equal, if we ignore the fact that this poor boy was stacking shelves to pay for textbooks in a falling-down school while the nice rich boys were enjoying private tutoring! Affirmative action is needed to balance out the very real disadvantages that many students grow up with! And there's no better way to identify that disadvantage than with broad, sweeping demographics!"
• "I think you're both loony," says John Dodinas, professor of liberal arts at Zaphyr Yui National University. "In my humble opinion, the solution is simple: make college education free to all. Why turn away anyone? Throw open the gates and make college education available to every citizen of Zaphyr Yui, regardless of their economic status, grades, or work ethic!"

What should Zaphyr choose?

Option 1.

Option 3!!

Hooray! Welcome back, Zaphyr!

I'm going to believe that Zaphyr will feel the bern on this one and go with option 3.

Option 1

Option 3, definitely.

Previous Issue

Zaphyr Yui has adopted Option 3. Zaphyr Yui's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand.

Spoiler

Public Education
Edu-tellignce® Test Score 63.7%
 
Scientific Advancement
Kurzweil Singularity Index 31.2%
 
Welfare
Safety Net Mesh Density Rating 20.4%
 
Intelligence
Quips Per Hour 14.9%
 
Pacifism
Cheeks Turned Per Day 14.0%
 
Taxation
Effective Tax Rate 8.1%
 
Tourism
Tourists Per Hour 6.6%
 
Government Size
Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index 6.1%
 
Inclusiveness
Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index 4.4%
 
Average Income
Phyrs 3.1%
 
Economic Output
Phyrs 3.1%
 
Human Development Index
Human Development Index 2.7%
 
Safety
Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating 1.1%
 
Ideological Radicality
Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index 0.11%
 
Employment
Workforce Participation Rate 0.11%

 
Obesity
Obesity Rate 0.10%
 
Weather
Meters Of Sunlight 2.9%
 
Sector: Manufacturing
Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index 3.7%
 
Crime
Crimes Per Hour 4.0%
 
Weaponization
Weapons Per Person 6.9%
 
Charmlessness
Kardashian Reflex Score 10.2%

The Issue

Snow Leopard Foxball - a sport that is extremely popular in Zaphyr Yui but not so much anywhere else - is causing a slew of concussions in Zaphyr Yuian schools. Brain trauma from the head-on collisions is causing cognitive problems and - on occasion - deaths.

The Debate

• "You have to stop this madness!" yells Steffan Bronte, the mother of an eighthback for Zaphyragrathea High School. "My son has received so many concussions that his grades are dropping. To hell with tradition, our children's fragile brains are more important!"
• "Come on, Zaphyr. You’re not actually thinking about this, are you?" says Robin Dubois, PR rep from the Zaphyragrathea Wyverns, a professional Snow Leopard Foxball team. "I know it's tough, but without Snow Leopard Foxball in the schools, who will be the great pro athletes of the future? Need I mention that Snow Leopard Foxball is a storied part of Zaphyr Yuian culture dating back generations? You wouldn't want to mess that up, would you?"
• "It's not just Snow Leopard Foxball," mentions Brian Wintreath, a techie joining the conversation via Trype. "Think about legball. Concussions happen there all the time. It's just not in the news anywhere as often. And then there's hoopball. They wipe each other out all of the time. Us video gamers have fun without ever knocking our skulls together. I propose we ban all physical sports. It’s only the safest op-" he says before the screen turns off with a security guard twirling the plug.

What should Zaphyr choose?

Option 3.