Post #25653
November 22, 2014, 02:18:34 PM
I don't know what's happening here but it looks fun.
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I have one thing to say though. What is it with girls and the fucking "college experience"?
Girls of my generation are so deathly scared to commit it's not even fucking funny.
Will I have to wait until I'm 30 to get what I want? I get no fun whatsoever out of the "college experience". It's a waste of time. Where are the others with my mindset? Are they hiding or something?
I'm starting to be really goddamn tired of giving all I've got to something, not out of the blue but out of a reciprocal commitment, only to have it blow up in my face because she wants to "look elsewhere", or because she can't make time for me, or whatever else fucking reason. If you don't want to commit then don't, but don't waste my time by committing then backing out because that's not what you want anymore or because you're not able to give it anymore. Be 100% sure you're ready for it then do it. Be 100% mindful that commitment does mean that you give up a part of your liberty and be prepared to make that sacrifice. Also be 100% sure that's something you're even able to do. If you don't love me then fine, that I can understand, but leaving just for the sake of leaving? Are they all high?
I mean no knocks on people who do enjoy that "college experience", at least they clearly are not committing to anything.
But fine, I'm just gonna look elsewhere. Not now because obviously I have to heal, but I will. I'm gonna do everyone a service and take my time alone to lick my wounds instead of jumping on the rebound. I just have this nagging feeling that no matter how hard I look I won't find what I'm looking for anyway. I mean maybe if I were to troll churches or something but there's only one thing I hate more than fickleness, and it's the stereotypical religious person. I'm feeling like my case is doomed and I'll never have the life I've dreamed of since I was just a tiny grasshopper, that "happily ever after" BS, you know? That one life where I'll have the stability I desire instead of having to jump from train wreck to train wreck ad vitam aeternam. Given the freaking divorce rates, I suppose even marriage is devoid of meaning now and isn't a sign of anything.
I'm feeling like the only thing I'll ever get what I want out of is my hand. It's attached to me and it has no choice. It never whines about being attached.