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Ruguo
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  • Alright! Feedback round one! Before I get to the individual sections, I wanted to say that all of you exceeded expectations here.

    @"Delicate Flower" (Hapi)
    Your character is a very good start, and exactly what I asked for. So let's expand her a little. When was her town destroyed? Where does she live now? Is there a particular memory she has of a person, symbol, marking, that she would be particularly interested in? I also love you added that she is hotheaded. For your expansion section this round, I would like you to add a personality description into your character.

    @Ender
    I love the physical description of this character. Very to the point. Wuldren is a interesting case of age vs time, from my perspective. You mention he is covered in scars, both old and new, but the fact is that he isn't that old, and from your description, has not seen too much heavy combat, unless adventure combat is that heavy. However, I am neglecting to include that different people have different maturity times, and if he set off at something like 15, the timeline does line up. So for your expansion this round, I want you to add in a history of this band of adventurers from Wuldren's point of view. Something that explains how they bonded, and when they became a team. If they ever stopped looking for a place to settle down, or if they founded a settlement and left again. Fill the gaps!

    @Wintermoot
    You're really making me work here, aren't you?  :P
    You cover all the important points in your bio, so I'm going to be mean and make you add something completely out of the blue. I want you to do a magic profile, which is a rundown of some favourite spells, which would be most commonly used during actual play. Each spell should have an association with it, whether it be a memory, a smell, or even a feeling. For magical characters, it is important to make sure you know their strengths and drives with every motion, which in turn will tell you weaknesses and help prevent accidental use of OP magics.

    There is still two days in this phase! I look forward to seeing everyone's adjustments. As always, feel free to interact as wanted/needed.

    Ruguo
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    Ruguo
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  • This is just a poke. Please let me know if you just want to move on, if you're stuck, bored, anything. I want to help you, and I can't do that if everyone (Including me) is being silent.

    @Wintermoot @Ender @Hapi Ever After
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    Wintermoot
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  • Thanks for the reminder, @Ruguo. I'm actually excited about the challenge, it's just that I've had a lot of other lengthy posts to make lately that's had to take priority. I'm hoping to dedicate some time tonight and tomorrow to it though. :)


    I went all the way to Cassadega to commune with the dead
    They said "You'd better look alive"
    Wintermoot
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    Ender
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  • Sorry I've had a lot on my mind lately so I've been fairly busy trying to keep myself distracted so I should be able to put in some time for the next few days, so thanks for the reminder.
    « Last Edit: March 31, 2020, 12:03:41 AM by Ender »
    Ender
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  • This is just a poke. Please let me know if you just want to move on, if you're stuck, bored, anything. I want to help you, and I can't do that if everyone (Including me) is being silent.

    @Wintermoot @Ender @Hapi Ever After

    Apologies life has gotten a bit hectic. I'll have this done tonight.
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  • Name: Leilianna Drakenstone
    Age: 125 (Elf) or approximately 25 by human standards
    Appearance: A dark elf with light skin by dark elf standards. Shorter and relatively young for elves. Leilianna has a scar on her right cheek. Slender, beautiful with long white hair.
    Hometown: Riven, a river front village of Elves on the Alluchian river that was destroyed.
    Bio: Leilianna's scar serves as a constant reminder of her town's destruction. She was the only survivor and has vowed vengeance against the orcs who perpetrated the attack. However agrees untrained in combat. Young and hotheaded she's joined up with a band of mercenaries to learn combat arts make some money and plan her vengeance.

    Quote
    "Delicate Flower" (Hapi)
    Your character is a very good start, and exactly what I asked for. So let's expand her a little. When was her town destroyed? Where does she live now? Is there a particular memory she has of a person, symbol, marking, that she would be particularly interested in? I also love you added that she is hotheaded. For your expansion section this round, I would like you to add a personality description into your character.

    Town destroyed:
    Her town was destroyed a few years ago.

    New home:
    She doesn't have a permanent home anymore. She wandered from village to village trying to find someone to help her learn to fight before she joined the mercenary company she now travels with. They have no permanent base preferring to go wherever the money flows the most free.

    Memory, symbol,marking of interest:
    She has a clasp she wears in her hair. It's gold and shakes like a butterfly. It was given to her by a male elf she was smitten with shortly before Riven fell.

    Personality:
    Leilianna is a quiet, thoughtful and gentle elf. However she's a bit hotheaded and stubborn when she digs her heels in. Within the town of Riven she was known for never losing a debate and rarely admitted when she was wrong. However deep down she was a sweet and caring elf who would do anything for her friends and family.
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  • Name: Wuldrin Blackbend
    Age: 29
    Appearance: A dragonborn with many scars, both old and new covering his body. a bit on the tall side and has a bit of a strong build. smooth silver scales, He has a bright frill and Blue eyes.
    Hometown: Stoneshire, a massive mountain side town that was mostly built into the side of the mountain the town consist of three races, Humans, Dwarves & Dragonborn.
    Bio: The scratches and dents on wuldrin's armor serve as memories of each fight before and after his hometown came under siege by a band of Orcs, against all odds he and a handful of others survived.
    due to his time as a guard he has some knowledge in terms of combat. Although strong and shaken, Wuldrin and the others who survived set off from what was left of Stoneshire to find a new place to call home.
    eventually, along their journey they became a band of adventurers looking to make a name for themselves.

    @Ender
    I love the physical description of this character. Very to the point. Wuldren is a interesting case of age vs time, from my perspective. You mention he is covered in scars, both old and new, but the fact is that he isn't that old, and from your description, has not seen too much heavy combat, unless adventure combat is that heavy. However, I am neglecting to include that different people have different maturity times, and if he set off at something like 15, the timeline does line up. So for your expansion this round, I want you to add in a history of this band of adventurers from Wuldren's point of view. Something that explains how they bonded, and when they became a team. If they ever stopped looking for a place to settle down, or if they founded a settlement and left again. Fill the gaps!


    Well I guess lets start from the beginning, Wuldrin lived in Stoneshire, he was the son of the local lord known as lord Tavrinth, but after years, Wuldrin had grown tired of the noble life since he found it rather tedious as there was hardly anything about it that truly interested him anymore, but the idea of becoming a hero had his attention,
    so when he was 15 at the time the town guard was recruiting people to join them, so he went to where the guard house was and asked the captain if he could join the guard, so then after a few weeks of training he finally became a guard,
    many of the townsfolk quickly took a liking to him as he usually went out of his way to help out around town, so they would often go to him if there was trouble as many of the other guards were not as trustworthy and the other guards were not fans of how Wuldrin was doing things as he was messing up how they did things around town,

    so many of the other guards would often give Wuldrin the more dangerous things to do in an attempt to get rid of him without drawing attention to themselves, resulting in a few of his scars, but he foolishly assumed they were giving him the more difficult tasks because he was new and with the guards after many attempts to get rid of him they simply gave up as many of there attempts would usually end with him coming back with a new scar or two.
    Wuldrin would also end up being friends with most of the townsfolk even some of the people he would end up travelling with later down the line,

    it was winter when his hometown came under siege by a large band of Orcs, they launched boulders over the walls crushing many houses and along with the houses many people as well,
    they eventually busted down the gates and slaughtered everyone that stood in their way,
    Wuldrin and a handful of others would narrowly escape through a secret tunnel in the keep which would lead them west into a forest covered with snow
    as they traveled through the snowy forest to where ever it is they were going, they would later agree to travel together realizing they would stand a much better chance together,
    so they decided that they should make a name for themselves if they do and so they became a band of adventurers or mercenaries if you would rather call them that instead.

    The party of adventurers would bond through countless adventures sometimes making jokes with each other in the middle of combat,
    even recruiting others into their party and after many close calls and countless saves the party would grow to become close friends, although a few going a little further, and after travelling for so long the party is practically one big family
    sometimes when their adventures go well enough, they would celebrate and bond over drinks at a local tavern of the current town they were in at the time,
    although sometimes the party would get a little too out of hand and so Wuldrin would usually have to make sure nothing gets completely out of hand since they don't want to repeat what happened during one of their last celebrations,
    cause you know what they say, you're not a true adventurer until you burn down your first tavern.

    After countless adventures they would find a place they would soon call home, sure this place was a little cold and covered in snow, but it reminded them of home,
    so the group decided on a name calling the soon to be town Emberholde, they would begin to build a town starting with a cozy little place they would call home,
    eventually building up becoming a large town slowly drawing attention to themselves and attracting many to the gates of their town.

    I couldn't figure out how to go about writing some of this in his perspective so I just described things instead, hopefully I didn't make more gaps or miss anything.
    Ender
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  • Thanks to @Ruguo for giving us more time to work on this and to my fellow classmates for their patience! It was really appreciated. :)

    Magic Profile
    Magic as currently understood is based on siphoning some force within you, called mana, to produce some effect in the world. However, despite the best efforts of the magic academies, little else is known about this force. It’s unknown whether it’s mental or spiritual in nature, whether it could be accessible to everyone or only a select few, or what traits may make one a more effective spell-caster. For these reasons, magic academies focus on teaching ways to more effectively siphon mana and use it to great and various effects to those who have already discovered their own ability.

    Having never attended an academy, Janon knows little of the theory behind mana and magic-use. His knowledge is grounded more on practical use in a frontier farming town. This means that his abilities carry neither the efficiency or power of an actual wizard or mage, and in a combat situation he must find ways to use his abilities more creatively.

    Levitation
    One of the first spells that Janon learned, levitation helped immensely in his past life, especially when it came to hauling things from one point to the other, such as the autumn harvest to the cellars or construction materials to a build site. He’s even tried levitating himself, but because of the great focus and skill needed to levitate yourself, let’s just say it’s a good thing he never tried lifting himself more than a foot off the ground.

    Flame
    In Janon’s hands, it produces a small flame that zips in a straight line until it hits something, sitting it on fire if it’s flammable. Back on the frontier, he used this primarily to start cooking fires, campfires, and to help burn fields to make the ground more fertile. When needed, he has used it as a distraction in combat, for example by setting an opponent’s clothes on fire or producing localized minor burns.

    Minor Ice
    The opposite element to fire, it works in remarkably the same way for Janon. It produces a small ‘flame’ of ice that travels in a straight line until it hits something, making a small area of ice where it hits and chilling the immediate area around it. In past times, he used it mostly to keep the food cellars cold in the summer and to help produce blocks of ice faster as needed, but it could be used as a distraction...say, to freeze a small part of an opponent’s body or to try to form a slick spot underneath them.

    Minor Heal
    The magic of healing another is a particularly draining undertaking, involving somehow taking your mana, casting it into the other, and converting it into health that their body can draw upon. Because of Janon’s relative untrained ability, he uses this strictly in cases where a person could die before other methods of healing such as potions and poultices (both of which he can make with the right ingredients) can take effect. At his skill, he can provide a slight amount of health while draining himself greatly, but there was a time when this was all that was needed to save a life.   

    Charm
    In the hands of an experienced, practiced mage, this can be used to draft all manor of creatures to protect them and fight for them. At Janon’s level, it can be used to calm animals that already tend to be docile. He often used it back in Azamar to make pets easier to train, or calm farm animals while being handled. Unfortunately, other than as a continued way to make coin occasionally he hasn’t found much use for it in recent times, but has always been fascinated to learn more about communing with the world of the wild.


    I went all the way to Cassadega to commune with the dead
    They said "You'd better look alive"
    Wintermoot
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    Ruguo
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  • Alright, that was awesome to read through. You're all growing so much already  :). Now you all have characters and a basic sense of setting. So we're going to use said characters in an actual roleplay now. For this first post, I want you to respond with as much or as little as you are comfortable with. We will work in expanding it later. Based on your profiles, I will be putting all of you in a different location, and it is your job to interact with your surroundings. You might see other people in your first post, but should not interact with them, as all of you are starting during the same time frame. This will be a short exercise, and two posts are required, one solo and one interacting with another character once you have all posted your solo post. We will build off these posts in a future exercise.

    Hapi:

    Your starting location in a meadow just recovering from the destruction of the Giant/Orc armies. There are skeletons visible through the thin layer of grass, and large chunks of earth missing in the most random locations. Off to the south, there is a toxic mist that is coming towards you at an alarming speed. To the east, you can see a field of flowers. To the north there is a pile of rotting giant corpses piled haphazardly between two chunks of earth, blocking your path. To the west there is nothing but open field, and an air balloon that looks like an old model of the Orcish bomber. It should have no reason to be out here. Then again, you shouldn't be out here either.

    Ender:

    You are in the air balloon, having just come from the toxic plains to the south, scouting for any survivors or inhabitable regions protected by the mist. You are alone, and heading to meet back up with your band of adventurers to report your findings. That is, you would be if you hadn't been knocked off course by an arrow you can't see the source off, and you are rapidly losing altitude, drifting towards an open field.

    Wintermoot:

    Alternate link because it won't show up for me.
    You are in this open field, a small town below you. Some buildings are still in ruins, others look brand new. You can see the crashing air balloon in the distance behind you. A small band of Orcs is passing through this town, being very loud and rowdy, taking whatever they please without paying. One has a fist full of fire and is threatening a merchant. It is nearing dusk, and you were really hoping for a place to stay that didn't involve fighting anyone for once.

    Have fun with your posts, take your time. I will be joining your characters with my own after this first exercise. We'll have fun with this. I know everyone is busy and it's a rough time, so let's try and have this finished by next monday, a week from today.

    Ruguo
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  • OOC: Ugh, first one posting his RP here...feeling pretty nervous. v_v

    IC: Janon looks down at the village of Grayfall, his destination for the night, evaluating the situation with dismay. He isn’t entirely surprised, seeing as the town sits among the ruins of several previous incarnations of towns destroyed by the orcs, but he was hopeful that all he would find here was a peaceful night’s rest. Based on the small size of the group, Janon judges that it’s a only raiding party looking to loot and plunder rather than destroy the town outright, but he doubts that would be very assuring the townsfolk right now. It’s still too many orcs for him to fight on his own, and if the town had any force protecting it before, he sees nothing of it now.

    As he evaluates the situation further, he hears a faint “Whoosh” from behind him. Turning around, he sees a large air balloon drifting down towards the field at an odd angle that makes it obvious that it isn’t descending by choice. So far, it appears that the orcs are too loud and too involved in looting the town to have noticed the balloon themselves, but that could change at any moment.

    His decision made, Janon turns his back on the town, walking to meet the balloon as it falls. He doesn’t like turning his back on the terrified innocents even temporarily, but there’s nothing he can do about it on his own except draw attention to himself. He’ll focus on helping whoever is in the balloon first, and then hope that they are able and willing to help him drive off the orcs before they get too rowdy. He just hopes the balloon isn’t carrying orcs or other hostiles as well.


    Action: Janon will cast “Levitate” on the balloon once it’s in range in an attempt to try to control its descent.


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    They said "You'd better look alive"
    Wintermoot
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  • OOC: 1st post, I had no idea how to write this.

    IC: Wuldrin looks around from the airship taking in the view, surveying the surrounding area for anything or anyone as he is heading back to his group,
    seeing a town in the distance on the other side of a clearing, he can barely spot someone in the clearing
    he then hears something pierce the air balloon of his ship and looks up to see a hole in the balloon, the airship now descending rapidly,
    he barely manages to climb up and mend the damage, but as he gets down from the balloon he slips, falling down onto the platform below,
    he rapidly gets up, quickly realizing that he is still moving too fast and attempts to slow down the airship.

    but the airship is descending too quickly for him to slow down so he instead tries to soften the landing by directing the balloon into the clearing he spotted earlier,
    as the balloon is about to crash, he jumps off the left side of the air balloon landing in the clearing,
    Wuldrin now barely getting back up soon after he looks around the ruins of his airship all of his gear that was on the balloon now scattered throughout the wreckage.
    He searches the wreck for any supplies that survived the crash and gathers his bearings and then scans the clearing around the wreck but not before spotting the same figure he saw while he was in the air,
    but now they are much closer and now approaching, now cautious Wuldrin draws a broken sword from part of the wreckage and stands his ground since for all he knows the person who is approaching is with whoever shot him down.



    « Last Edit: April 15, 2020, 11:50:28 PM by Ender »
    Ender
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  • OOC: Well here goes nothing

    IC: Leilianna shakes her head groggily her vision slowly fading in as she comes to in the meadow.

    'Where am I?' She thinks as she looks around. She quickly notices toxic mist rapidly approaching from the South and tries to stand up. She's hurting and every movement sends pain coursing through her but she knows she needs to move quick.

    She looks for an escapeand notices the Orcish bomber to the west. She suddenly remembers, memories of her village being razed flooding back. She seethes with rage, but quickly realizes the bomber is her best chance for escape and so she begins her journey towards it.

    'Strange that an Orcish bomber is out here now, they shouldn't be,' she thinks as she moves towards it, 'I wonder if any Orcs are on board, and how good it would feel to kill one.'

    She stops by one of the skeletons in the meadow the sunlight glinting off a sheath catching her eye. She inspects the sheath and notices a small dagger inside. She grabs it and continues pressing towards the bomber.
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    Ruguo
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  • Hooray, feedback time! Yes, I'm also late. It's fine. Everything is fine. I'm sorry about that though.

    Wintermoot: An excellent start! I love the internal thoughts blended into your story. The biggest thing I have for you is that actions should be included within the post, worked in. So instead of saying that Janon will cast levitate as soon as the balloon is in range, you could say something like "Janon preps himself to cast levitate as he runs towards the balloon, the spell sparking at his fingertips, ready to cast as soon as he is close enough to the balloon." Overall, you have a really solid start, and It can only get better from here. I challenge you to add in more action, more movement this next round. You start this by having Janon walk to the balloon, but the sense of urgency is missing. The balloon is crashing, and he's just strolling over to meet it. Unless he has a reason for walking, which you could also include, such as he can't cast spells while running as he doesn't have the focus.

    Ender: For saying you had no idea how to write this, you did a wonderful job. Something to work on is the run-on-ness of your descriptors. Try to take a step back and not try and pack everything into one sentence or paragraph for that matter. It is okay if your character misses details, it add to the fun. For your next post, I want you to work on adding fluidity between your lines. For example, you write:

    "Wuldrin looks around from the airship taking in the view, surveying the surrounding area for anything or anyone as he is heading back to his group,
    seeing a town in the distance on the other side of a clearing, he can barely spot someone in the clearing
    he then hears something pierce the air balloon of his ship and looks up to see a hole in the balloon,"

    You can easily change this with a few periods and a little bit of emotion, Like so:

    Wuldrin looks around from the airship, taking in the view of the surrounding area for anything, anyone, looking for signs of the group he is heading back to. He can see a town in the distance on the other side of a clearing containing a speck of something moving, perhaps a person. He doesn't think it is anyone he would know.
    Suddenly, he hears something pierce the air balloon above his head. He looks up to see a hole in the balloon, his heart starting to pump faster as the balloon sinks far too rapidly.

    You have a really solid base here, and I commend you for the effort. It's very workable, and I look forward to seeing where you go with it.

    Hapi: I love the single quotation mark to denote thought. It is something I personally do as well, so reading your piece felt real familiar. I also enjoy that she is hurt and knows that, and you don't suddenly make her cured. What I would like to see going forward is to feed into your character's emotions. She is mad at the orcish bomber, and I love how you return to her wanting to kill an orc. However, It seems sudden that she decides to go towards the bomber to escape, knowing she is hurt. I would like to see a bit more internal consideration, conflict, the rage fighting with her sense of self preservation.
    I will also warn you to be careful about pulling things out of your surroundings, such as a dagger. In this case, it is reasonable, but it can go down a rabbit hole of finding equipment in random trees. Or finding perfectly maintained armor on a skeleton. (Not like I've done that before, nope). But it works here, and I like that she is arming herself with something that wouldn't hinder her more in her injured state. Overall a very good start.

    And with that, it's time for a second post in the same setting. Your characters should meet at this point, and there can be dialogue. I understand the first person to post will be at a bit of a disadvantage without godmodding, but that's something you'll have to work around in a regular RP too, starting a conversation. I'll give you all another week to post. Please don't hesitate to ask questions as needed, or to reach out for help if you want it.
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  • Hooray, feedback time! Yes, I'm also late. It's fine. Everything is fine. I'm sorry about that though.

    Wintermoot: An excellent start! I love the internal thoughts blended into your story. The biggest thing I have for you is that actions should be included within the post, worked in. So instead of saying that Janon will cast levitate as soon as the balloon is in range, you could say something like "Janon preps himself to cast levitate as he runs towards the balloon, the spell sparking at his fingertips, ready to cast as soon as he is close enough to the balloon." Overall, you have a really solid start, and It can only get better from here. I challenge you to add in more action, more movement this next round. You start this by having Janon walk to the balloon, but the sense of urgency is missing. The balloon is crashing, and he's just strolling over to meet it. Unless he has a reason for walking, which you could also include, such as he can't cast spells while running as he doesn't have the focus.
    So much is happening, I think we're all just running to keep up. We're in this together. ^-^

    I suppose I assumed that the balloon was crashing slowly, so there would be plenty of time to walk over to it before it hit the ground, though that's really an assumption and not one that I communicated in the post. I will try to add in more action, and remember to incorporate it in the post itself (I just thought I'd seen it separated somewhere before, and that's why I did it.).

    I'm kind of curious how conversations start...does one character say a sentence or thought and then wait for the other to say something in response, and back and forth like that?


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  • OOC: I figure it will be easier for me to post first I'm further away and don't really intend to do much talking yet due to my characters circumstances.

    But I think Moot raises a good question. How does conversation occur? I've done roleplaying in scenarios were you can control others so long as your not doing things out of their character with them. And I've done those in which you do not ever do anything for anyone else?

    Based on the story we edited I assume we can temporarily roleplay others characters but I'd like to clarify.


    IC: As Leilianna closes in on the crashed Orcish bomber she notices for the first time a human in the middle of the field by the falling balloon. She stops and winces her leg burning with pain. She squints trying to get a better read on the situation and notices another figure in the wreckage of the bomber grabbing for a sword. An orc.

    Her mind flashes with brutal fury but as she puts weight on her injured leg to run forward her rage subsides and she falls to the ground her leg giving out.

    'Perhaps...perhaps it is better to see how the situation unfolds' she thinks rubbing the muscles in her leg.

    She's angry with herself. Angry that she can't fight. Angry that she's hurt. She wants blood. But instead she scans the area for somewhere to hide. It's an open field she can clearly see the figures at the balloon but she notices a large piece of debris from the bomber nearby. They're busy with each other but she doesn't want them to notice her and so she crouches in the tall grass moving towards the large piece of debris nearby. She slowly positions herself against it realizing now that she's close enough to hear them speak.

    « Last Edit: April 19, 2020, 09:59:05 PM by Hapi Ever After »
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