Post #142142
October 15, 2019, 06:10:45 AM
I thought it was generally good. Space battles are fun!
One thing though...for me personally the scenes switched pretty abruptly, particularly when they happened mid-paragraph. I would recommend breaking those instances into separate paragraphs, and add some language in spots to make it clearer where the scene is switching to (for instance, making it clear that the Lament is the ship fighting the Hydra...it's not clear until you read a few lines later that the Austria-Hungary has appeared and is firing at it).
