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Tell a bad joke.
Posts: 94 Views: 18552

Arenado
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  • Some Random Guy
  • This is a simple one. Tell us a bad joke that you just find hilarious. Puns, witticisms and all forms of comedy are also accepted.

    I'll start this off.

    Why are there no gay race car drivers?

    They always blow a rod at 69.
    I Hope You Have A Nice Day :]
    Arenado
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    Finrod Felagund
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  • 12 rabbis, a priest, a king of a small country, a Rastafarian, the president of the United States, 43 doctors, the typing staff of a medium-sized company and a woman and 27 of her friends on a stag do walk into a bar. The maximum occupancy of the building is 85. The bar owner is forced to ask some of them to leave the premises.
    4 people like this post: Mathyland, Imaginative Kane, Laurentus, Sapphiron
    Finrod Felagund
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    taulover
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  • What do you call a black man selling drugs?

    A pharmacist, you racist fuck.
    2 people like this post: Imaginative Kane, Laurentus
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    taulover
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    Mathyland
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  • P.S. didn't mean to like Finrod's joke. It doesn't matter, nvm
    4 people like this post: taulover, Charles Watson-Turing-Donald, Barnes, Hydra
    « Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 04:25:13 AM by Mathyland »
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    Mathyland
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    taulover
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  • What is green and has wheels?

    A lawn, I was lying about the wheels.
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    taulover
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    Elbbsas
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  • How about a classic:

    Two men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

    Elbbsas
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    taulover
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  • https://www.reddit.com/r/WordAvalanches/comments/3ogese/a_swindler_passes_by_a_bird_in_the_stairwell_of/

    The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace since the forger's apartment had no windows. She was carrying some rolled up paper on which her owner had written the perfect end to his prized short story, what's delivery was a mission of utmost importance.

    You see, the forger was very proud of this story's ending as it unabashedly mocked the last two novellas in a complete collection written by his far more successful literary rival, Condolyssa Blackburn, who had worked to expose the forger's dishonesty by high-hatting his private dealings in said novellas, of which the forger grew thirsty for revenge. This same short story would later assist the forger in framing her for a homicide.

    So, the swindler in the stairwell knew of the forger's vulture, but he hated birds and went about swatting and cursing at her for flying around in the building. Though, little did the swindler realize that there was a third crook who had been hiding in the shadows of the stairwell above him. As the swindler rounded the corner and came into view, the young thief named Khan had already lept from the banister one floor up behind the swindler as he planned to knock the swindler down and take his money.

    As was indicative of his inexperience, young Khan did not notice the vulture until after he lept from the banister as he was too busy marking the swindler to notice the large bird flying past him on it's way down. The sight of the dutiful bird had caused the swindler to stop and swat and curse, which completely negated Khan's calculated leap, so as he fell toward where the swindler would have been had it not been for the vulture, he joined the swindler in cursing wildly at the bird because she had single-wingedly ruined his plan.

    Khan's midair cursing fit caught the attention of the swindler who sighted him, and since Khan was quite green and merely half his age, the swindler immediately began talking down to him, attempting to illustrate how feeble and worthless his attempt to swindle a swindler. Yet, as the swindler turned to continue his ascent upstairs, his pride had hindered him from noticing that Khan had successfully picked the wallet from his back pocket.

    Thus, Khan's incredibly embarrassing, albeit successful, incident is now humorously referred to among his fellow con men as the "greatest con ever botched," which is far less mentally demanding than what it was formerly referred to as, which was the "condescending conned ascending con dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes ending condescending Khan's descending on dissenting conned ascending con dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes sending condescending Khan descending condescending condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes ending condescending conned ascending con's dissenting on dissenting condor-sending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes sending condescending conned ascending con's dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes on descending condescending Khan's descending" con.
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    taulover
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    Elbbsas
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  • You know, Tau. I had just finished cooking dinner -- and cleaning up after it -- when I saw your post.

    My immediate thought was: "Dishes not what I had expected."
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    taulover
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  • Confucius say:

    Man who run in front of car get tired.
    Man who run in back of car get exhausted.
    2 people like this post: Charles Watson-Turing-Donald, Laurentus
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    taulover
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    Mathyland
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  • 1 person likes this post: Barnes
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    Mathyland
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    Red Mones
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  • A priest, a rabbi, and a minister all walk in to a boar.

    They are all badly hurt and barely escape with their lives.
    Red Mones
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    taulover
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  • What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?

    Can't-elope!
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    taulover
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    Mathyland
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  • 3 people like this post: Barnes, taulover, Elbbsas
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    Mathyland
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    taulover
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  • I, for one, like Roman numerals.
    4 people like this post: Red Mones, Mathyland, Elbbsas, Laurentus
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    taulover
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    Hydra
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  • What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
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