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Disregarded

Thank you, now we can move onto more important matters.

Like how I am the winner?

That's debatable.  I'd like to ask the jury to please disregard my other opponent's baseless claims.

No. This is a trial for the slaughter of innocent penguins. Disregarded.

Indeed, I suppose.

Innocent? Penguins are not innocent. They are vicious, terrible killers, second in danger only to cookies.

Innocent? Penguins are not innocent. They are vicious, terrible killers, second in danger only to cookies.

What have cookies done to you (yet)? 

Innocent? Penguins are not innocent. They are vicious, terrible killers, second in danger only to cookies.

What have cookies done to you (yet)? 

The following two articles are brought to you by The Times of Penguins vs. Cookies.  Anyone interested in the full story is welcome to follow the continuing drama here.

RAMOS'S SON KIDNAPPED

Following the formation of the Cookie Alliance between the Aesir Empire and the Triple Entente (now unified as Miricano), events have been occurring that would raise an eyebrow for anyone who still watches the news. To everyone who doesn't still watch the news, this may just restart your interest in the goings-on of New Hyperion.

Not much is currently known about what our leaders are up to at the moment because of all the secrecy. It's worse than the Cold War between the US and the USSR all those centuries ago. What we do know about the current situation is that Roen, the son of Prime Minister Ramos, was kidnapped from his home in Fort Bragg by a group of terrorists based within the nation.

Earlier in the week, Majority Leader Isador was found dead in a train wreck caused by an electrical failure in the rail system. At first glance, it seemed that the train wreck was the cause of death, but a closer analysis showed that the Majority Leader was shot in the head hours before the crash. This would look like the work of petty criminals if Isador wasn't opposed to Ramos. Wait, I can't see the difference...

Following this assassination of the Majority Leader, Jarl Aragonn, leader of the Aesir Empire, took a surprise trip to Port Alexandria to meet with Ramos. Their discussion was completely secret, but we assume it had something to do with the declaration of wartime preparation and cookie factories.

Afterwards, the Jarl travelled to Fort Bragg to stay for a while. But upon arrival, Roen was nowhere to be found. Nothing was found on security cameras, the guards didn't see a thing, and there were no tracks. We still don't know where the boy is being held, but we are being assured that Roen will be found and brought home alive.

COLBENTIELLE COMMENCES INVASION OF SCIENCE

Responding to the Miricanian border attacks against Colbentielle, Regent Colberius X has ordered the invasion of the Democratic Empire of Science.

This invasion, the product of heightened tensions in New Hyperion caused by the resource depletion of soft chocolate chip cookies, was announced following the revelations that Colbentiellian, and likely Laurentian, agents were behind the kidnapping of Roen Ramos, son of the Miricanian prime minister. For those not keeping up with the news, Miricano fired missiles upon Laurentian aircraft approaching Miricano airspace, which Colbentiellian missiles intercepted under the grounds that they had entered Colbentiellian airspace. Prime Minister Ramos used this incident as casus belli, launching attacks across the Miricano-Colbentielle border. Responding to these attacks, Colbentielle has released videos of Roen Ramos being held hostage by their agents.

In an official press release following the sending of surrender terms to Science, the Colbentiellian government revealed a “secret arms deal” between Miricano and Science and that the Democratic Empire “has chosen to ally itself with Miricano.” However, First Consul William Xavier of Science has responded, rejecting the surrender terms and instead framing the deal as a “collaborative research project... to advance the progress of humanity.” Consul Xavier refuted Colbentielle’s accusations of a Miricano-Science alliance, and portrayed the Colbentiellian attack on the Darwin Extremely Large Collider as a terrible atrocity against a university and thus intellectualism.

Despite the moral accusations of Science, it is easy to see that the invasion is a shrewd political move. Science’s territories provide a solid bargaining chip for an anti-Miricano alliance with nations such as Frostmark, and may provide a refuge for Colbentiellians should their homeland fall. Furthermore, with Science’s relatively nonexistent military, the conquest will likely be a cakewalk. Finally, and most importantly, it is rumored that Science is developing super-soft chocolate chip cookies, a valuable asset for any nation.

The Scientific government has declined to comment further on the situation; authorities appear to be disbanding on the fly, likely in preparation for a guerilla war. Oddly, attempts to contact the Colbentiellian government have also failed, with upper government levels appearing to be instituting a communications blackout. Political analysts suspect a coup is being attempted against the Regent, though The Times has been unable to confirm these analyses. How this international conflict plays out remains to be seen.

The following two articles are brought to you by The Times of Penguins vs. Cookies.  Anyone interested in the full story is welcome to follow the continuing drama here.

RAMOS'S SON KIDNAPPED

Following the formation of the Cookie Alliance between the Aesir Empire and the Triple Entente (now unified as Miricano), events have been occurring that would raise an eyebrow for anyone who still watches the news. To everyone who doesn't still watch the news, this may just restart your interest in the goings-on of New Hyperion.

Not much is currently known about what our leaders are up to at the moment because of all the secrecy. It's worse than the Cold War between the US and the USSR all those centuries ago. What we do know about the current situation is that Roen, the son of Prime Minister Ramos, was kidnapped from his home in Fort Bragg by a group of terrorists based within the nation.

Earlier in the week, Majority Leader Isador was found dead in a train wreck caused by an electrical failure in the rail system. At first glance, it seemed that the train wreck was the cause of death, but a closer analysis showed that the Majority Leader was shot in the head hours before the crash. This would look like the work of petty criminals if Isador wasn't opposed to Ramos. Wait, I can't see the difference...

Following this assassination of the Majority Leader, Jarl Aragonn, leader of the Aesir Empire, took a surprise trip to Port Alexandria to meet with Ramos. Their discussion was completely secret, but we assume it had something to do with the declaration of wartime preparation and cookie factories.

Afterwards, the Jarl travelled to Fort Bragg to stay for a while. But upon arrival, Roen was nowhere to be found. Nothing was found on security cameras, the guards didn't see a thing, and there were no tracks. We still don't know where the boy is being held, but we are being assured that Roen will be found and brought home alive.

COLBENTIELLE COMMENCES INVASION OF SCIENCE

Responding to the Miricanian border attacks against Colbentielle, Regent Colberius X has ordered the invasion of the Democratic Empire of Science.

This invasion, the product of heightened tensions in New Hyperion caused by the resource depletion of soft chocolate chip cookies, was announced following the revelations that Colbentiellian, and likely Laurentian, agents were behind the kidnapping of Roen Ramos, son of the Miricanian prime minister. For those not keeping up with the news, Miricano fired missiles upon Laurentian aircraft approaching Miricano airspace, which Colbentiellian missiles intercepted under the grounds that they had entered Colbentiellian airspace. Prime Minister Ramos used this incident as casus belli, launching attacks across the Miricano-Colbentielle border. Responding to these attacks, Colbentielle has released videos of Roen Ramos being held hostage by their agents.

In an official press release following the sending of surrender terms to Science, the Colbentiellian government revealed a “secret arms deal” between Miricano and Science and that the Democratic Empire “has chosen to ally itself with Miricano.” However, First Consul William Xavier of Science has responded, rejecting the surrender terms and instead framing the deal as a “collaborative research project... to advance the progress of humanity.” Consul Xavier refuted Colbentielle’s accusations of a Miricano-Science alliance, and portrayed the Colbentiellian attack on the Darwin Extremely Large Collider as a terrible atrocity against a university and thus intellectualism.

Despite the moral accusations of Science, it is easy to see that the invasion is a shrewd political move. Science’s territories provide a solid bargaining chip for an anti-Miricano alliance with nations such as Frostmark, and may provide a refuge for Colbentiellians should their homeland fall. Furthermore, with Science’s relatively nonexistent military, the conquest will likely be a cakewalk. Finally, and most importantly, it is rumored that Science is developing super-soft chocolate chip cookies, a valuable asset for any nation.

The Scientific government has declined to comment further on the situation; authorities appear to be disbanding on the fly, likely in preparation for a guerilla war. Oddly, attempts to contact the Colbentiellian government have also failed, with upper government levels appearing to be instituting a communications blackout. Political analysts suspect a coup is being attempted against the Regent, though The Times has been unable to confirm these analyses. How this international conflict plays out remains to be seen.

k. You still don't get the last post. It's mine! 

Is it?

I suppose it is ...

Or is it?

Yeah, it kinda is
Whatever "it" is. Didn't bother to read more than 3-4 posts back

Or is it?