Can someone explain this to me
Why is it 'wrong' for me to joke about my best friend dating a guy, but it's not 'wrong' for that same guy to tell my best friend that he has sexual fantasies about my best friend and I doing stuff together. Like what the hell?? I made like one or two jokes, while he's the one saying he has actual f a n t a s i e s about us doing stuff. How am I in the wrong but he isn't ??
There might be some contextual reasons behind it. When did he say the whole 'sexual fantasy' thing (somehow that even feels slimy just to type as a reference to it), before or after you made the jokes?
If before, if you took offense (which, I mean, that's a fairly weird and
vaguely okay, actually
very creepy thing to say), he may have assumed you were saying it in all seriousness, and believed that you were holding him to a double standard where he couldn't say that kind of thing, but you could.
If after, he may have been (
very ham-fistedly and crudely) attempting to make a similar joke, due to seeing your previous joke as tacit approval of jokes of such a nature.
Contextually it seems more likely to be the former.
Alternatively, he might be one of the many, many boys out there who is socially awkward, likes a girl he's friends with, but is too much of a coward to say it, and so tries to drop 'hints' that just sound bizarre and creepy (source: was a teenage boy once, although admittedly I never put my foot quite as far in my mouth as he did, seriously, that kid is fixing to kick his own ass from the inside).
Or, as Nyghtowl has sniped me in saying (thanks, 'hey other people have posted while you were
ignoring this for 3 hours typing' feature) he might just be insecure about his sexuality, either in the legitimately 'I am profoundly uncertain about many things at this phase in my life, including my sexuality' sense, or in the 'being even
briefly thought of as gay would be death to my macho credibility' sense, since, for all the extensive progress in LGBT rights, I'm pretty sure 'gay' is still used as an insult in the majority of the 'teenage boy' demographic. Which, I mean, one, come on, not an insult, guys, and two, seriously,
originality, people, come on.
Yep, this is known as the fundamental attribution error, or correspondence bias.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
I'm perfect, and any error I make is entirely due to understandable reasons and is someone else's fault anyway, while everyone else is awful and insane and makes mistakes entirely because they hate me and want me to suffer.