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But its not. I just feel. I dont know. Repetitive. Utterly repetitive. Like I can predict what will happen during the day. I'm mostly right.

I think that's part of being an adult...I go through it all the time.

How on earth am I going to stand 60 more years of this?

Well, only 40 more. Then you'll get to retire and enjoy life -- except for the whole being old and so unable to do anything part.

This is why adults are always on about changing things up...at least those that don't like ruts. Those that do end up pretty comfortable like that.

Anyways, someone sent me a message on grindr earlier: "Hey buddy looking for a boyfriend are you interested in me?". I mean, even if I'm not until it I understand that grindr is primarily a gay hookup app, but this is just sad, and I have no words...is this person so desperate and has so little respect for himself that he's asking strangers he's never even exchanged words with to be his boyfriend? How could I be interested in him when I've never as much as talked to him? I mean, just wow...to be honest, nothing has ever turned me off more.

I've used my long absence to collate material for a blog I've always felt like writing but I never got around to actually doing it. Now that I have enough ideas I'm just going to put it out there. I think it's better than my previous blog idea, and I feel it helps me to write that and let it float out there.

It's more personal than anything (it's random stuff about struggling with isolation/loneliness/autism), and I don't really want it to become popular or anything, but you're welcome to come read and comment if you enjoy it. Perhaps in the long term it could be an outreach tool. I was going to write it in French but I decided to do it in English in case I wanted it to become a bit more public.

Address is https://pockettoaster.wordpress.com/

And the counter-point, Cyanide and Happiness.

That moment when the cute boy at school turns out to be a total douche and yells at you vov

That moment when the cute boy at school turns out to be a total douche and yells at you vov

That moment when you ask the cute boy out and his response is to repeatedly stab your neck with your own aux cord before switching to a broken coloured pencil.

All because he doesn't know how to respond to that kind of stuff in public.

Whelp, time to pull out my old depression playlist. Get some Aiden up in here.
Fuck my life.


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This boyfriend thing...seems the only winning move is not to play.

So I almost lost it with my one friend that I mentioned last week here, the one going from one guy to another in a desperate search to be with someone...anyone, apparently. The guy that he was chatting with last week apparently didn't work out, and then another guy he was chatting with stopped replying after a few hours, so he was down about that...I was trying to search for the root cause of the issue with him, and I think it's the fact that he doesn't have much contact with people or anywhere that he feels he belongs, but he just totally wants to focus on the boyfriend thing, telling me that life isn't worth living without a boyfriend and that shit...I think at one point he realizes he was going too far cause he apologized, but eh.

I mean, I get it, not having a boyfriend sucks. But it shouldn't be the only thing about life that matters...actually, it shouldn't even be that big of a matter. I still think if he were to just focus on doing things he likes and finding friendships instead of dwelling on and desperately seeking a boyfriend, he'd probably be more likely to actually find a boyfriend. v_v

Why you have to be such a deep person Winty? Why?

So I was telling a friend about what happened after I asked this guy out and her response was to give me his number. How does that work?


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Why you have to be such a deep person Winty? Why?

So I was telling a friend about what happened after I asked this guy out and her response was to give me his number. How does that work?

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Lots and lots and lots of experience, that's how. I'm not entirely unsympathetic to those who are lonely, because I've been there before...there were years when I constantly dwelled on not being able to have a significant other and believing that it reflected on me and my attractiveness and a person. And maybe it does, but over time I learned to be happy with who I am without needing the validation of a boyfriend or girlfriend, and I'd like to think it made me a better person.

That doesn't mean I don't get depressed when someone I'm interested in doesn't feel the same way about me, or when things don't work out with them...since I tend to go for people out of my league that's what usually happens actually, but it doesn't become this huge hole in my life that I desperately try to fill with just anyone. Actually, even at my worst I didn't do that...I just listened to emo songs and thought depressing thoughts about how the person I like doesn't like me back.

Actually, I still do that when it happens.

As for your situation, it's hard to say...maybe your friend knows something about this guy that neither of us do and she thinks calling him is the best course of action. Since calling the guy up so soon isn't something I'd recommend, I have to believe she has some reason for giving you his number that we don't know.

Why you have to be such a deep person Winty? Why?

So I was telling a friend about what happened after I asked this guy out and her response was to give me his number. How does that work?

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Lots and lots and lots of experience, that's how. I'm not entirely unsympathetic to those who are lonely, because I've been there before...there were years when I constantly dwelled on not being able to have a significant other and believing that it reflected on me and my attractiveness and a person. And maybe it does, but over time I learned to be happy with who I am without needing the validation of a boyfriend or girlfriend, and I'd like to think it made me a better person.

That doesn't mean I don't get depressed when someone I'm interested in doesn't feel the same way about me, or when things don't work out with them...since I tend to go for people out of my league that's what usually happens actually, but it doesn't become this huge hole in my life that I desperately try to fill with just anyone. Actually, even at my worst I didn't do that...I just listened to emo songs and thought depressing thoughts about how the person I like doesn't like me back.

Actually, I still do that when it happens.

As for your situation, it's hard to say...maybe your friend knows something about this guy that neither of us do and she thinks calling him is the best course of action. Since calling the guy up so soon isn't something I'd recommend, I have to believe she has some reason for giving you his number that we don't know.

Thanks Winty, she did say to wait a bit though before I started up a conversation with him.


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In the meantime, I'm here to start up a conversation with at any time.

In the meantime, I'm here to start up a conversation with at any time.

Lol, so I'm currently in the middle of Finals. I haven't had an actual final yet today and won't have any. But I will have two finals tomorrow. So that's a thing.


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