View Topic

I guess you could reduce all human experiences to what chemicals they produce, and logically it's true, but at the same time it doesn't allow for much wonder in life. I just don't think it has to be something that cheap...if it's with the right person, and you put the time in that the relationship needs, it could make for a worthy life together..shared in ways you would have never lived had you remained alone...that makes this whole life journey thing that much more satisfying and fulfilling.

I think part of the problem is that people get into relationships casually because they get addicted to that high of being with someone...but eventually that high wears off, and it's then that you realize whether you have something worthwhile or not. I've read that arranged marriages are on average more successful than marriages based on love...not just in divorces, but in actual satisfaction and fulfillment. I think it's because you have a situation where they weren't chasing after a high and had to really put in time and effort to make the relationship work...resulting in something that ends up more fulfilling.

But as for me, I consider myself as someone that's pretty open emotionally, and I think most people would confirm that I'm pretty casual with sex outside of relationships, so I don't need a relationship for that. I guess it allows me to focus on what I really want with a mate, besides just a partner to have sex with.

I wouldn't care really if it took the wonder out of life, science is just nowhere near that level of understanding of the brain. We've got some little basic things, and we can maybe induce love by injecting oxytocin into rats or something, but that's worlds away from complete understanding of the human reproductive instinct that we call love and lust.

In the book on the Red Queen hypothesis called uh.. The Red Queen, it's theorized that one of the main selective pressures driving the development of humanity's massive intellect is sexual selection, which would imply much of our brain exists for reproductive purposes.

In males this would generally mean the main driver would be mostly used that intellect to outwit and intimidate the potential mates of nearby females.. and to outwit and impress those same females..
In females, it would be mostly used to try to attract the best males and to coerce them to stay and help care for their young. A lot of arms races on going on between the sexes there too, for example it's best for males to have sex with many partners and not stay to take care of anyone's young, so putting on superficial charm and then disappearing might work.. except that females will adapt to this strategy, by being more picky about who they allow to mate with them.

Oh yeah, side note, gender almost certainly isn't "only" a social construct.. Though there's a lot of areas of uncertainty, for example there are genes that reduce testosterone sensitivity.. and the brain gets structured by hormone levels in the womb, so there's a lot of room for some funny business to go on.

Anyway the point is.. it's a very complicated subject, and it bears a lot of thought and discussion. There's so much individual variation here, so learning what you want and then going for it (within the bounds of morality..) is both a worthwhile and important effort..

My mom wants me to go off my medicine ;-;

So there's this guy at my school that I really like and for the longest time I've thought he was straight. I found out that he isn't as straight as I thought. So I told him I like him and he's being weird about it.

I don't mean that he's being an asshole or just being awkward about it but he randomly hugs me and even pulled me onto his lap. He also interacts with me a lot more than previously since up until I told him we really didn't speak to each other or even sit at the same table during lunch.

He also says he doesn't like me.

What do guys?


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

So there's this guy at my school that I really like and for the longest time I've thought he was straight. I found out that he isn't as straight as I thought. So I told him I like him and he's being weird about it.

I don't mean that he's being an asshole or just being awkward about it but he randomly hugs me and even pulled me onto his lap. He also interacts with me a lot more than previously since up until I told him we really didn't speak to each other or even sit at the same table during lunch.

He also says he doesn't like me.

What do guys?


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

Well, if you like him, then my advice is to enjoy his attentions. I wish a guy I liked would randomly hug me and pull me onto his lap.

It's hard to give better advice without knowing where he's at, but if most people think he's straight or he's recently came out, it may be that he's not ready to tell a guy that he likes him, or he isn't sure about his feelings...or even that he just appreciates having another person like him around to let loose with. He might not even be ready to talk about his sexuality in depth...so just based on your post, I'd keep hanging out with him, enjoying his company, and waiting for him to bring up anything like that.

So there's this guy at my school that I really like and for the longest time I've thought he was straight. I found out that he isn't as straight as I thought. So I told him I like him and he's being weird about it.

I don't mean that he's being an asshole or just being awkward about it but he randomly hugs me and even pulled me onto his lap. He also interacts with me a lot more than previously since up until I told him we really didn't speak to each other or even sit at the same table during lunch.

He also says he doesn't like me.

What do guys?


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

Well, if you like him, then my advice is to enjoy his attentions. I wish a guy I liked would randomly hug me and pull me onto his lap.

It's hard to give better advice without knowing where he's at, but if most people think he's straight or he's recently came out, it may be that he's not ready to tell a guy that he likes him, or he isn't sure about his feelings...or even that he just appreciates having another person like him around to let loose with. He might not even be ready to talk about his sexuality in depth...so just based on your post, I'd keep hanging out with him, enjoying his company, and waiting for him to bring up anything like that.

Thanks Winty, your advice is appreciated. I think I'll keep hanging out with him as I do greatly enjoy his attentions. I also identify with this song in this situation:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3pwfIkSzFY


Also I took the ACT today... Apparently styles of childhood play can be compared with Lord of the Flies....


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

Hmm...well, if I were to infer from the song, it seems like it's a bit more than just liking him. Am I right?

Hmm...well, if I were to infer from the song, it seems like it's a bit more than just liking him. Am I right?

mhmm that's why I listen to that song before bed every night, as well as Whatya want from me by Adam Lambert, cuz those two really sum the situation up.

Awww...that's so cute!

I've been in that sort of situation many times before though...I know how you feel.

Awww...that's so cute!

I've been in that sort of situation many times before though...I know how you feel.

Thanks Winty, you wouldn't believe how good it feels to know somebody shares this kind of experience. And is being supportive rather then saying I could find someone better.

I think everyone's been there before, and sometimes it doesn't work out for the best...when they say you could find someone better, I'm sure they're just trying to spare you potential pain. But if you don't pursue your heart, you'll live with what ifs and what could've beens, so it's always better to take the risk.

I think everyone's been there before, and sometimes it doesn't work out for the best...when they say you could find someone better, I'm sure they're just trying to spare you potential pain. But if you don't pursue your heart, you'll live with what ifs and what could've beens, so it's always better to take the risk.

Words to live by. Words to always live by.

Never become jaded like the rest of the world.

Never become jaded like the rest of the world.

*Points repeatedly at this statement for all time because it is absolute truth Winty you majestic divine orator you*

And join the adult area when you're 18.

Sorry, can't start developing a reputation for being too classy you know.