View Topic

CoS: The 2nd Coming of Awful



Hey there fellow citizens of Wintreath. My name is The Church of Satan. You might remember me from such things as the previous Underhusen election. Last election I played nice, pandered to voters and acted all professional-like. Well my friends, I'm happy to announce that this time around I won't be so merciful. Wintreath has had it too easy for too long, so I'm going to go medieval on you.

Reasons to vote for me

Why Not Zoidberg?	I'm totally new to Wintreath. I have no political agenda and no political connection to anybody in Wintreath. So you can be sure that nobody influences my decisions.
I have legislative experience	Served 2 terms as a senator in Renegade Islands and 1 term as Speaker in The Rejected Realms.
I have served any and all positions I've held truthfully & honorably	I've never committed or been convicted of a crime in any region ever.
I never use government positions to pursue my own agenda.	Can't say I've ever had an agenda

To sum it up better, I am experienced, dedicated and honorable. Now, I know my legislative experience isn't much. I'm not claiming to be any sort of miracle worker, because I'm not. I come to you as a citizen that wishes to serve his region and its people. Nothing more and nothing less. Here's what you can expect from me if elected to The Underhusen:

• Fire & Brimstone falling from the sky
• Annual banquets in honor of our great monarch, Wintermoot
• Secret gatherings where other Skirfa and myself plot to destroy you
• Hail Hydra!
• Celebrity Deathmatch. I'm Nick Diamond. And I'm Johnny Gomez. Good fight, good night
• Citizens will earn the right to have their ideas considered by fighting in the field of battle for the glory of The Sontaran Empire
• Will initiate The Emoticon Wars

If I am elected, the plan is to ensure that it goes something like this:

and end with this:





 



 

So yeah, it's gonna be friggin' anarchy.

Joking aside, I sincerely hope you'll consider me as you cast your votes. I'm here for you.

I think this may very well be the most colourful campaign post I've ever seen. I particularly appreciate the Celebrity Deathmatch reference.

Thank you Moot.

Recently my zeal for elections was restored, so I've stepped up my game and adopted a nonsense approach. There's no reason elections can't be fun too.

And Celebrity Deathmatch was AWESOME!

1) Needs Moar Doge and Comic Sans
2) MY EYES!
3) This isn't a campaign it's an assault on the eyes.

Of course it is Chanku. Voters are fickle, so it's ideal to leave a lasting impression.

And Celebrity Deathmatch was AWESOME!

Agreed! It brings back fond memories of being a teen and watching MTV...back when MTV was halfway relevant. >_>

So how's Lazarus this time of year?  Busy?  Demanding attention?

Actually it's rather calm right now. Admittedly, getting the Foreign Affairs bit is going to be a pain. I have to determine who has who as Lazarus' ambassador, because with Perg and Stu having to be replaced in several places, I have to create the whole dang index of our embassies and ambassadors. Nobody set one up during the coup. >_<

Best of luck, COS.

What do you want to see improved in Wintreath law or the Fundamental Laws?

Well, since there's been confusion about how the judicial system works, I'd like to rewrite the whole procedure, maybe change the structure because there's too many if's, and's & but's. I get the feeling that it's, at the very least, phrased to sound complex. I kinda feel limiting the number of witnesses one could call per day is in itself flawed and slows down the proceedings.

I have no issues with The Fundamental laws and I feel they're fine as is.

What is your main legislative goal for this term should you be elected?

I suppose fixing the judicial system would be it. It seems to be the thing that needs to be done most right now.

Actually it's rather calm right now. Admittedly, getting the Foreign Affairs bit is going to be a pain. I have to determine who has who as Lazarus' ambassador, because with Perg and Stu having to be replaced in several places, I have to create the whole dang index of our embassies and ambassadors. Nobody set one up during the coup. >_<

Hey, maybe we can work a deal here. You speed up how fast New Hyperion's embassy request is processed, I vote for you... Savvy?

I like the sound of that preferential treatment plan.

Colberius that reminds me, the constitution doesn't explicitly say what my duties are, lol.