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Eldarions Guide to Dwarf Fortress:Booze and Optional Blood Sacrifice
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Crushita
  • Citizen
  • The Potato Pope
  • Dwarf Fortress.
    It is a name that inspires awe. Fear. Anger. Rage.
    And of course, !!FUN!!(Yes it has to be inside two exclamation marks, its not !!FUN!! without it!)
    It is perhaps the deepest game ever created but it has one fatal flaw.

    It looks like this:


    From my many years of Dwarf Fortress experience I can tell you this is a building. Maybe a fort of some sort. Pretty sure that it has a moat. Thats about it.

    So you must be thinking to yourself: "Eldarion, you're a crazy idiot who rambles about potatoes all day in your throes of madness." And you would be correct! Why do you think I play this game? MU HA HAH HA HAAAA. YOU MUST EMBRACE THE MADNESS TO PLAY THIS GAME!


    This is a picture of dwarves and cats. The dwarves are laughing. The cats are exploding.

    Ahem. Let me just resume my sanity for a second(Don't worry about yours, if you get through this guide you won't have it anymore.)
    Now, this game is rather huge. It will take me forever to explain it with this level of terrible comedy, so this guide will be split up into many parts as I have time to do it! In the mean time, I have !!SCIENCE!! to do(!!SCIENCE!! is like !!FUN!!, its just not the same without the exclamation marks) so unfortunately you must all languish until my next update.

    I welcome you aboard this minecart that has been titled Eldarions Guide to Dwarf Fortress:Booze and Optional Blood Sacrifice! Next time I'll get to actually showing you people how to get this game in a slightly less sanity damaging way then normal, and how to get it to look like the second picture(With, if you're lucky, less exploding cats) instead of the first one, and how to generate a world!
    2 people like this post: taulover, Laurentus
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    • The Potato Pope
    Crushita
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