Dany: I mean, I've pretty much had a hate-boner for this woman since like, season 1 episode 5. But when you have her reciting speeches about how she's going to "liberate" the whole world, including Winterfell, while standing next to Jon Snow, and then later having her still think she can convince Jon of anything she says, I don't even have fucking words for how dumb this is.
Which conveniently brings me to He Who Shall Never Know Shit himself, Jon Snow. My god. We're talking about the guy who forgot every vow he ever swore to as a Night's Watchman so he could protect people, and he's
still fucking trying to defend what Dany just did? The woman who just burned a city down and will let the world end in fire if not stopped? I don't think there is any means of conveying just how far my eyes have rolled up into my skull.
Grey Worm: You know what, fuck it, I could live with his despicable acts, because y'all are all strangers to this dude and you just beheaded his girl. I could even live with his insistence to keep Jon a prisoner even if it would mean they all die, because really, what do these guys have to live for? What I
cannot live with is him just going like: "Fuck it, I'm fucking off to Naarth, I trust you fuckers to keep Jon in the Night's Watch, 'cause that turned out so fucking well last time. Also I'm saying fuck a lot because nothing fucking makes any fucking sense any fucking more."
Yara: Bitch, you didn't even know Dany, so why are you so upset that the dude who saved everyone from the dead killed a bitch? And then you somehow go along with this stupid idea of naming Bran king, thus guaranteeing Jon's gonna get away with it? Nah.
Sansa: Fine, whatever, she'd totally make a play for the throne in the North. There'd also be literally no goddamned way that anyone wouldn't call her on her bullshit when she says it's because the North has suffered too much.
Arya: You know that look people have when they've seen something so incomprehensibly stupid that they don't even know how to continue living? That's the look I'm having now. Bitch could have walked up to Dany, stabbed her and fucked right back off to the North, because apparently she's a fucking stealth goddess who can sneak past an entire goddamned army, up a stair case in plain view of all assembled, and surprise her brother in 5 seconds flat.
Tyrion: Whatever, he actually behaved like his old self again. Fuck it, I'll take it.
Sam: My guy, you didn't even fucking complete your training as a regular, garden variety maester, but you're suddenly the grandmaester? That's it. I'm being Punk'd. Where are the cameras?
Bran:
So, time to end the rant with something I actually liked, but not completely. I genuinely liked the idea of Drogon burning down the Iron Throne, as that symbolically represented the rule of the dragons, and also neatly hinted at the fact that Jon wasn't going to be king either. But when the fuck did dragons become smart enough to make cool symbolic gestures?