Wintreath Regional Community

A Link to the Past - Archives => The Wonderful World of Wintreath - Worldbuilding => The Registry of Things Past - Historic Archive => The Cathedral of the Holy Tuber => Topic started by: Crushita on November 04, 2015, 09:29:24 PM

Title: Great Hall of the Cathedral of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Crushita on November 04, 2015, 09:29:24 PM
Welcome all to the Church of the Holy Tuber

"And We Call On You Oh Great Potato To Bless This Shrine To Thee" -The inscription above the main door of the Cathderal of The Holy Tuber.

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/d3/63/74/d36374bbb9f679a811cc261bc65487ef.jpg)
"And it called on all those loyal to it and those who loved it to dedicate their lives to it."-Fields 10:21



This is the Great Hall of the Cathedral, please feel free to discuss all potato-related items in here!
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: BraveSirRobin on November 05, 2015, 02:32:40 AM
(https://wintreath.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fvignette2.wikia.nocookie.net%2Funcyclopedia%2Fimages%2F4%2F4a%2FHoly-potato.jpg%2Frevision%2Flatest%3Fcb%3D20090618200658&hash=c08c1aecb1c930ba51f8bd96672ce9cc)
And the priest held high the Holy Tater high into the air and consecrated it, saying, "O Great Potatoe, bless this thy tuber, so that we may cultivate and praise the most Holy of your Creations, Great Spud!" 

And the people did cheer, and the priesthood did shout, and the Holy Potatoe was pleased.  :D

"Let not fear take hold of you, for as long as one have faith in the Great Potatoe, they shall have eternal starch!" -Proclamations 4:13 
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Crushita on November 05, 2015, 02:35:06 AM
BraveSirRobin posted on November 05, 2015, 02:32:40 AM
And the priest held high the Holy Tater high into the air and consecrated it, saying, "O Great Potatoe, bless this thy tuber, so that we may cultivate and praise the most Holy of your Creations, Great Spud!" 

And the people did cheer, and the priesthood did shout, and the Holy Potatoe was pleased.  :D

"Let not fear take hold of you, for as long as one have faith in the Great Potatoe, they shall have eternal starch!" -Proclamations 4:13

And the High Priest came forward and said, "Will you, Brave Sir Robin, give your life to serve the Great Potatoe in his glory? Will you become a priest of The Great Spud?"

"He who sows mine fields shall reap the bounty of mine benevolence."-Proclamations 7:2
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: BraveSirRobin on November 05, 2015, 10:38:43 PM
Crushita Telcontar posted on November 05, 2015, 02:35:06 AM
BraveSirRobin posted on November 05, 2015, 02:32:40 AM
And the priest held high the Holy Tater high into the air and consecrated it, saying, "O Great Potatoe, bless this thy tuber, so that we may cultivate and praise the most Holy of your Creations, Great Spud!" 

And the people did cheer, and the priesthood did shout, and the Holy Potatoe was pleased.  :D

"Let not fear take hold of you, for as long as one have faith in the Great Potatoe, they shall have eternal starch!" -Proclamations 4:13

And the High Priest came forward and said, "Will you, Brave Sir Robin, give your life to serve the Great Potatoe in his glory? Will you become a priest of The Great Spud?"

"He who sows mine fields shall reap the bounty of mine benevolence."-Proclamations 7:2

And Brave Sir Robin, bowing deeply, reverently replied, "As it is said in the eighth chapter of Proclamations, 'It is the duty of all to spread the words of cultivation and devotion to the most Holy Spud.' I would be most honoured to be a priest of The Great Spud." 

"The gates of the field are open to all who harken to the call of the Great Spud" -Fields 15:12
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: PB on November 11, 2015, 12:30:33 AM
PB sat in the back row, looking towards the altar.  His friend, who invited him, was up in the front row, chanting along with the High Priest.  Despite the intense weirdness surrounding him and the earthy, musk smell of the place, all he could think was,

"I wonder what their stance is on sweet potatoes."
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Laurentus on November 12, 2015, 05:52:30 AM
And Laurentus did bow his head in consternation. "What's taters, precious?"
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: BraveSirRobin on November 27, 2015, 09:34:08 PM
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Tuber, friends!  Do you have any questions about our central tenets and beliefs, or are you currently praying to the Great One, the Most Holy Spud, the King of all Kings Potatoe!?

"Share your wisdom with those who enter the sanctuary of the Potatoe, so that they may understand the reasons for his coming into the world to allow all to tend his fields." -Proclamations 22:12
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Crushita on May 29, 2016, 05:00:39 PM
A Papal bull has been posted on the door of the Church!

Spoiler
Non cadunt pro haeretico!
Haeretici decepti pollicitationibus sanctis amylum vos seducat!
Memento !
Non est nisi unus Deus. Et quis tuberosum est Deus solus.
Et recordare ne haeresis suffragium !

In Anno Tuberosum MMXVI
Crushita,
Speaker de Spiritu Sancto
Pope.

Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Bodobol on May 29, 2016, 05:55:14 PM
Potatus vult!
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: BraveSirRobin on May 31, 2016, 03:43:18 PM
Vivat Potatoe!!  Mortem haeretici!!
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: BraveSirRobin on January 04, 2017, 09:09:18 PM
"Fear not, for even in silence the Great and Holy Spud speaks to the true believer.  For a potatoe takes time to cultivate, and in doing so the Starchy One reveals to us the importance of patience." -Fields 10:12
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: pacsironeenk on July 31, 2017, 09:42:39 AM
"For the spud people spoke unto their Lord and Savoury: 'Thou art the true starchy one.', and the Holy and Apeeling Potato replied unto them: 'Yes, that's right.', and the people said: 'Oh good, we didn't want to come across as dodgy or owt, so we're glad you're okay with our praise and that'" -Mashgivings 22:47
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Charles Watson-Turing-Donald on July 31, 2017, 08:18:29 PM
*Ambassador Charles walks into the Church and salutes his fellow Worshippers*

Greetings, oh fellow Starch- knowers! I have been converted to the one great religion in the Church of the Holy Potato, in my home of the New United Kingdom! I wish to meet more fellow Spud-believers.
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: pacsironeenk on July 31, 2017, 10:41:30 PM
A priest wearing a jacket potato robe walks over to Charles and exclaims that "You will find everything you wish to, child", before awkwardly rubbing a ceremonial potato over Charles' head, and showing him to the pota-pews of worship where many believers sit in starchy prayer.

"No, no, trust me on this..." - Promises 13:4
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Charles Watson-Turing-Donald on August 02, 2017, 07:21:49 AM
Charles begins to meditate, transcending this plane and sending his astral form to a world of potato's, with the threat of the evil eggplant on the horizon. Charles focusses his mind and begins to create a barrier, pushing the eggplant ever further back. This eternal, daily battle is one of his duties as a member of the Potatocan in the New United Kingdom, and without this ceremony, the eggplant would overpower the potato's. As Charles is meditating, his physical form murmurs a chant.

"spuuddddddtaaattttteeeerrrrooooootttttttcarrrbbbbooooohhhhyyyyyyydddddrrrraaaatttteeees...Spuuddddddtaaattttteeeerrrrooooootttttttcarrrbbbbooooohhhhyyyyyyydddddrrrraaaatttteeees..."
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: pacsironeenk on August 02, 2017, 08:53:03 AM
A potato-coloured beam of light shines down on Charles, and many worshippers perform synchronised dances around him. All is calm, until a noise is heard at one of the coloured windows. A priest moves forward to check for anything outside. An egg-shaped, purple silhouette slips into and out of sight, and the priest gathers most of the worshippers and places them inside a potato sack. He begins to pray to the Holy Potato on the altar (Where a potato was once peeled for our sins). More noises are heard from outside, and the beam of light becomes a sickly deep bluish-purple. Charles' prayer has been overpowered by the evil of the putrid eggplant cult.

"Oh well, that's not very good, is it? Why not have some lemsip and duct tape?" - No Problemos 13:24

"Sh*t, there's an aubergine ripping out my intestinal tract - I just wanted to get some sowing done, for fuck's sake." - Fields 11:21
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Charles Watson-Turing-Donald on August 02, 2017, 07:45:52 PM
Charles prays even harder, and begins to gain control over the beam of light again.
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: pacsironeenk on August 02, 2017, 10:22:44 PM
The baige glow splits into lasers and disintergrates the aubergine threat. A most holy priest of the one true religion begins covering Charles in holy soil.

"Well, that was anticlimactic." - Shortcomings 6:21
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Charles Watson-Turing-Donald on August 03, 2017, 07:37:15 AM
"The meditation to prevent the Eggplant's Domination of the Potato-realm is a daily duty of the Popetato-Consort."- Duties of the Popetato-Consort 112:35

That's me, by the way. I am the Pope Crushita's Consort.
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: pacsironeenk on August 03, 2017, 11:35:50 AM
'Oh, really?' - Suspicions towards the identity of Popetato-Consort 23:17
These quotes are becoming ridiculous now.
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Charles Watson-Turing-Donald on August 03, 2017, 01:49:56 PM
'Trust in the Potato, and the Holy Spudcripture, for in the year 2017, a random guy called Charles Watson-Turing-Donald shall be the Popetato-Consort!' - Charles 1:3

Yeah, it's amazing how relevant the Spudcripture is, even today. Anyway, I am! I'm due to marry Crushita shortly.
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: pacsironeenk on August 03, 2017, 05:50:08 PM
'Fair enough.' - Noris 3:7
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Mathyland on January 21, 2020, 04:45:55 AM
Attention All Members of the Church of the Holy Tuber

As you are all likely aware, His Eminence the Potatoe Pope (Crushita) has left for at least a month to spread the word of the Holy Tuber elsewhere.

In his parting words, His Eminence said that he believes the Tomatoists will fall with time; however, it has become apparent that the infidels have risen since the Potatoe Pope left. The Tomatoists continue to spread their filth throughout Wintreath, and new religions have also formed. Most of our devout followers have disappeared, and the word of the Holy Spud has been diluted in the Pope's absence. The Holy Potatoe has been a symbol and religion of Wintreath for many years. It has been put into Wintrean Law twice and been made an official regional symbol. The heretics to the Holy Tuber, especially in His Eminence's absence, try to destroy this symbol of our faith!

This is why we need a messenger of the Holy Starchiness. The Potatoe Pope has served this role well for many years but is no longer with us, at least temporarily. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself, with the endorsement of @Ollie and @ShadowX4life , to be the Great Spud's humble messenger to the people! I will interpret the word of the Spud so that we may seek salvation by the grace and mercy of the all-embracing Holy Tuber!

The Great Spud loves and cherishes all, so as @Ollie has said via Discord, I am to merely decipher the Great Spud's teachings and messages. I am not to spread falsehoods and hate; I am to spread the true word and spread awareness of the Holy Tuber's love and greatness.

I swear on my holy allegiance to the One True Potatoe that I will spread and teach the true word of the One True Potatoe, to the best of my ability.

The Temporary Potatriarch,
Mathyland
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Mateo406 on January 21, 2020, 10:51:54 PM
Death to the spud! All praise the OMNISIAH
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Mathyland on January 21, 2020, 11:45:12 PM
Mateo406 posted on January 21, 2020, 10:51:54 PM
Death to the spud! All praise the OMNISIAH
Burn the heretic at the STEAK!
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: BraveSirRobin on January 22, 2020, 01:47:55 AM
Mathyland posted on January 21, 2020, 11:45:12 PM
Mateo406 posted on January 21, 2020, 10:51:54 PM
Death to the spud! All praise the OMNISIAH
Burn the heretic at the STEAK!
YES BURN HIM AT THE STEAK
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Mateo406 on January 22, 2020, 04:32:43 AM
Ironic considering I'm a vegetarian...
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Mathyland on January 22, 2020, 01:14:25 PM
Mateo406 posted on January 22, 2020, 04:32:43 AM
Ironic considering I'm a vegetarian...
Then it will be super effective!
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Mateo406 on January 22, 2020, 01:21:49 PM
Except nothing happened... so apparently not
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Chanku on January 24, 2020, 04:24:30 AM
HERESY! THERE IS NO TEACHING IN THE POTATOME THAT PERMITS A POTATRIARCH!
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Laurentus on January 24, 2020, 05:17:53 AM
The enlightened views of the Tomatoe decree that we allow all peoples to choose their own path in life, and so, we will love you until you see your heresy for what it is. We must heal this schism. For all know fries without ketchup are a blight upon the world.
Title: Church of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Mateo406 on January 24, 2020, 12:36:10 PM
All praise the OMNISIAH, for he is the one true god! Turn away from this false deity of potato, turn away and repent!
Title: Great Hall of the Cathedral of The Holy Tuber
Post by: Ogun of Valeria on August 11, 2020, 04:43:21 AM
Some new scriptures for strength during these trying times

"I can do all things through SPUD who strengths me"
 - Fields 6:20

Do not grieve, for SPUD is with you, his holy tubers will shine on your face"
 - Promises 9:9

"Those who seek SPUD will lack nothing, his harvests will feed you for eternity" - Proclamations 4:4

"Bring forth all ye tithes to the great Potatoe" - Fields 6:30

Holy is the many names of SPUD, blessed are those who call on it. -Promises 9:1

"Who dare speaketh against the Holy Potatoe, Father of Creation, Source of Humanity? The SPUD is just, all who question him will be judged but those who trust in him, fear not, his blessings will follow thee forever."
- Promises 3:16