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Debate: Weissreich Paragon Act
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Barnes
  • Former Citizen
  • Wintrean Press Secretary
  • Quote from: Weissreich Paragon Act
    Title
    1. This act shall be cited as the Weissreich Paragon Act.

    Recognition
    2. For establishing a judiciary system in Wintreath,
    Noting Weissreich's authorship of the Wintreath Criminal Codes,
    For his valiant service in both the Overhusen and Underhusen, including two terms as Speaker pro tempore,
    For devising a regional map through which a canon regional history has been created,
    For establishing the foundation of our regional roleplay, without which Wintreath's cultural centre would have never been fostered,
    Recognising that Weissreich's efforts have invaluably furthered and assisted the region both inside and outside the legislature and roleplay,
    And believing that this list is not fully inclusive of Weissreich's accomplishments, and that without him, Wintreath could never have been how it is today,
    Hereby commends Weissreich.

    3. Weissreich is hereby elevated to the rank of Paragon.

    There is a general consensus that this should be done. Please let me know what you all think.
    Barnes
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    Laurentus
  • Regional Stability Squad
  • Count of Highever
  • It would make more sense, and look more attractive, to list each point with a section number. Take a look at our procedural rules as an example.

    And further, there are some exaggerations, like calling RP our cultural centre and saying Weiss' establishment of its lore was essential to said cultural centre.
     No disrespect to Weiss, of course, but exaggerations should be avoided.

    Further than that, a few tweaks to the style and language could be added.

    Over all, not a bad first Act. Well done. :)
    In die donker ure skink net duiwels nog 'n dop, 
    Satan sit saam sy kinders en kyk hoe kom die son op. 
    • Count of Highever
    Laurentus
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    Sapphiron
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  • I think it would be better to have an essay-like commendation, just like the Amalya Paragon Act.
    Sapphiron
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    Laurentus
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  • Count of Highever
  • Hmm, that is true.
    In die donker ure skink net duiwels nog 'n dop, 
    Satan sit saam sy kinders en kyk hoe kom die son op. 
    • Count of Highever
    Laurentus
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    taulover
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  • The "commends" part might cause confusion, because a Wintreath Commendation also exists and has been awarded to Weissreich already.
    Résumé
    Wintreath:
    Citizen: 8 April 2015 - present
    From the Ashes RP Game Master: 29 November 2015 - 24 July 2018
    Skydande Vakt Marshal: 29 November 2015 - 28 February 2017
    Skrifa of the 13th Underhusen: 13 December 2015 - 8 February 2016
    RP Guild Councillor: 9 February 2016 - 6 March 2018
    Ambassador to Lovely: 23 February 2016 - 17 August 2016
    Werewolf VII co-host: 11 May 2016 - 5 June 2016
    Skrifa of the 18th Underhusen: 8 October 2016 - 7 December 2016
    Ambassador to Balder: 1 December 2016 - 1 March 2022
    Skrifa of the 19th Underhusen: 7 December 2016 - 9 February 2017
    Ambassador to the INWU: 11 March 2017 - 1 March 2022
    Ambassador to the Versutian Federation: 18 August 2017 - 22 March 2018
    Thane of Integration: 29 September 2017 - 7 March 2018
    Speaker of the 24th Underhusen: 10 October 2017 - 7 December 2017
    October 2017 Wintreath's Finest: 4 November 2017
    Speaker pro tempore of the 25th Underhusen: 9 December 2017 - 7 February 2018
    Wintreath's Finest of 2017: 6 January 2018
    Werewolf XIV host: 20 January 2018 - 23 February 2018
    February 2018 Wintreath's Finest: 5 March 2018
    Thane of Embassy Dispatches / Foreign Releases and Information / Foreign Dispatches: 7 March 2018 - 15 March 2020
    Speaker of the 28th Underhusen: 10 June 2018 - 7 August 2018
    Second Patriarch of the Noble House of Valeria: 10 October 2018 - present
    Arena Game 6 Host: 28 December 2018 - 9 March 2019
    Librarian of the Underhusen: 29 January 2019 - 12 February 2019
    Speaker of the 32nd Underhusen: 12 February 2019 - 8 April 2019
    March 2019 Wintreath's Finest: 4 April 2019
    Librarian of the Underhusen: 12 April 2019 - 23 October 2020
    Commendation of Wintreath: 24 September 2020
    Peer of the Overhusen: 9 December 2020 - 8 February 2021
    Vice Chancellor of the Landsraad: 26 May 2021 - 15 September 2022
    Arena Game 8 Host: 10 June 2021 - 19 July 2021
    June 2021 Wintreath's Finest: 5 July 2021
    Regional Stability Squad: 28 February 2023 - present
    Minecraft Server Admin: 8 March 2023 - present

    Aura Hyperia/New Hyperion:
    Plebeian: 16 April 2014 - 21 July 2014
    Patrician: 21 July 2014 - present
    Adeptus Mechanicus: 24 October 2014 - 16 November 2014
    Co-founder of New Hyperion: 29 October 2014 - present
    Lord of Propaganda: 16 November 2014 - present
    Mapmaker for Official Region RP: 27 November 2015 - present
    WACom Delegate: 11 November 2017 - present
    Other positions: Hyperian Guardsman, Hyperian Marine (Rank: Scout)
    taulover
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    Laurentus
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  • This is also true.
    In die donker ure skink net duiwels nog 'n dop, 
    Satan sit saam sy kinders en kyk hoe kom die son op. 
    • Count of Highever
    Laurentus
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    Barnes
  • Former Citizen
  • Wintrean Press Secretary
  • It would make more sense, and look more attractive, to list each point with a section number. Take a look at our procedural rules as an example.

    And further, there are some exaggerations, like calling RP our cultural centre and saying Weiss' establishment of its lore was essential to said cultural centre.
     No disrespect to Weiss, of course, but exaggerations should be avoided.

    Further than that, a few tweaks to the style and language could be added.

    Over all, not a bad first Act. Well done. :)

    Thank you. I personally didn't see those as exaggerations because I thought that RPs made up a large portion of our cultural activities and wanted to recognize how he helped revive that through his lore, but I see what you mean.

    I understand the necessity for section numbers besides just the three, as in the procedural rules. However, while an essay format is a good idea for listing accomplishments, I don't feel it is as professional and concisely laid-out as other legislation.

    I also understand the confusion in commending Weissreich a second time. I suppose that came about as part of the rather sloppy organization, and I didn't feel at the time that I could skip directly to Paragon. I can perhaps change it to note how he was already commended beforehand.

    Feel free to adjust the language as necessary, or I can tweak/rewrite it in a few hours when I can get to it.
    Barnes
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    Barnes
  • Former Citizen
  • Wintrean Press Secretary
  • Quote from: Weissreich Paragon Act
    Title
    1. This act shall be cited as the Weissreich Paragon Act.

    Recognition

    2. Wintreath notes the numerous achievements of Weissreich:
    (a) Establishing a judiciary system in Wintreath,
    (b) Authoring the Wintreath Criminal Codes,
    (c) Being the creator and inaugural member of Wintreath's royal nobility,
    (d) Serving in both the Overhusen and Underhusen, including two terms as Speaker pro tempore,
    (e) Devising a regional map through which a canon regional history has been created, and
    (f) Establishing the foundation of our regional roleplay.

    3. Wintreath recognises that:
    (a) Weissreich's efforts have invaluably furthered the continuity of the region both inside and outside the legislature and roleplay,
    (b) The above list is not fully inclusive of Weissreich's accomplishments, and
    (c) Weissreich has previously been awarded an official Commendation, and that this honour is insufficient to fully describe his service to the region.

    4. Weissreich is hereby elevated to the rank of Paragon.

    Hopefully this is much better. I will update the main Act text if someone remembers Weissreich's position in the Cabinet. Should I also update the OP with this new version, or something else?
    « Last Edit: December 27, 2015, 06:35:26 PM by Barnes »
    Barnes
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    Sapphiron
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  • The two day debate period has passed. Would any Skrifa like to make a motion?
    Sapphiron
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    Barnes
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  • I say we vote, because the majority of Skrifa seemed to be in favour of the bill in practice and I heard no additional comments about my second version.
    Barnes
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    BraveSirRobin
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  • My Dear Jean-Luc!
  • I second the motion to vote.
    Sir Robin of Camelot

    "Whilst the men of Caenia were scattered far and wide, pillaging and destroying, Romulus came upon them with an army, and after a brief encounter taught them that anger is futile without strength."  -Titus Livius, Ab Urbe Condita

    (Ravenclaw is the best!)

    Résumé/A History of Robin on NationStates
    Wintreath:
    Citizen: 4 June 2015 - present
    Member of the Hvitt Riddaral: 21 August 2015 - present
    Strifa of the 12th Underhusen: 8 October 2015 - 13 December 2015
    Speaker Pro Tem of the 13th Underhusen: 13 December 2015 - 8 February 2016
    Speaker Pro Tem of the 14th Underhusen: 8 February 2016 - 8 April 2016
    Speaker of the 16th Underhusen: 10 June 2016 - 11 August 2016
    Ambassador to Europeia: 5 December 2016 - present
    RP Guild Councillor: 23 February 2017 - present
    Ambassador to The North Pacific: 11 March 2017 - present
    Speaker of the 21st Underhusen: 10 April 2017 - 10 June 2017
    Delegate of Wintreath: 10 June 2017 - 15 March 2020
    Strifa of the 23rd Underhusen: 10 August 2017 - 10 November 2017
    Thane of Ambassadors: 10 October 2018 - 10 December 2018
    Commendation of Wintreath: Sept 24 2020

    New Hyperion:
    Citizen: 27 November 2015 - present
    Patrician: 12 January 2016 - present
    Lord of Development: 5 February 2016 - present


    (I stole this format from tau, but who am I not to copy a great system? :-) )

    Ne Crustumini quidem atque Antemnates pro ardore iraque Caeninensium satis se impigre movent; ita per se ipsum nomen Caeninum in agrum Romanum impetum facit. Sed effuse vastantibus fit obvius cum exercitu Romulus levique certamine docet vanam sine viribus iram esse.
    BraveSirRobin
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    Sapphiron
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  • The motion to vote passes.
    Sapphiron
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