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I could do it, although I'm only on PC.

I have some card suggestions:

%s: the sequel to %s no one asked for %s: the cheap knock-off version of %s Archibald Vallensphere IV, Esquire
Cyanide. 
A driver to the balls 
NS issues are weird, but I never expected an issue about %s! 
Getting curb stomped by kindergarteners
Doing cringey TikTok dances in public
%s is the fastest way to get canceled on Twitter
In the red corner, we have Johnny ‘the %s’ Jackson! In the blue corner, Bobby ‘the %s menace’ Adams!
Speedrunning life
A nice ass, and by that I mean a nice donkey
Attending a frat party at Harvard
Never take a wrong turn when entering a convention; you never know when you might accidentally walk into %s Con
Obscure references
Behold, the wild %s in its natural habitat. Watch how it %s it’s prey
Excessive amounts of swearing
‘Causal Friday’ at an active war zone
The god-awful adaptation of Percy Jackson
Where all the protesters in China disappear to
Unfortunately, I am contractually obligated to %s
Properly shivered timbers 
[redacted]
Side affects of Zynara may include: headache, %s, %s, and death
If you or a loved one is suffering from %s, call the hotline below now
Ancient fossilized shit
WARPP
Torture in Holy Spire
Hamfisted exposition 
%s: It’s harder than it looks
The Dark Sorceress placed a curse on him so he’d never %s again
Rollspektra 
The Wintreath World Cup

Added! You may see these cards in a future CAH game