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In light of the festival, we're going to clean up some wishes.  For example:

"I wish the world would end."

"Granted, the world is now at peace, and everyone likes each other."

Sound easy? We'll see!

I wish I went blind.

Interesting premise... it's like the opposite of what Genies and the Wish spell can do in DnD where the DM is encouraged to grant a wish in an unexpected and often non-benevolent way. Definitely never waste one of those to raise someone, you'll just end up with a hovering corpse.

"Granted. Your story of living with a disability has become a must-see movie series. You're a wealthy celebrity and a hero, and happier than you ever were before."

I wish to be hurt.

Granted.

You find yourself in a relationship, and they break your heart.  But in a whimsical turn of fate, the one to pick you back up is the person of your dreams, and they fall deeply in love with you.  You find yourselves happily together and even married, growing old together.

I wish I lost my job.

Granted. Your job literally goes missing, and your quest around the globe to locate it and your coworkers nets you fame and fortune to the point when you find your job again, you realise that the true job was within you all along. Also, you're rich.

I wish my family left me.

Granted. Your family simply moved to another city to take advantage of a new job offer. This opportunity improves your family's socioeconomic standing and helps you become more independent.

I wish I lost an arm.

Granted.

You get a cool robot arm thats 10 times better to replace the one you lost.

I wish annoying people would just stop.

Granted. They have realized the error of their ways, and are now all wonderfully nice, non-annoying people.

I wish that the world were in total war.

Granted.  It's a war between who can be the most generous to you with their money.

I wish stupid people would disappear.

Granted. All stupid people are given hyper-intelligence, making all the stupid people disappear.

I wish death would plague this land.

Granted. Mosquitos are a thing of the past, and all parts of the ecosystems that stood upon them have found alternative, healthy means.

I wish for a natural disaster.

Granted. You are a storm chaser, and you witness a beautifully destructive tornado.

I wish for Kim to launch his nukes.

Granted. You are a storm chaser, and you witness a beautifully destructive tornado.

I wish for Kim to launch his nukes.

Granted, but his target ends up being himself.  That's one less dictator, and now the survivors in North Korea live peacefully with those in South Korea.

I wish I was mauled by bears.

Granted. A horde of teddy bears attempt to maul you but, due to being teddy bears, end up just hugging you. A lot.

I wish all the money would disappear.

Granted. A horde of teddy bears attempt to maul you but, due to being teddy bears, end up just hugging you. A lot.

I wish all the money would disappear.

Granted.  It disappears.  The concepts of rich and poor disappear along with it.  People, and even politicians become less divided, and the world seems like a better place without the corruption caused by the greed of money.

I wish the apocalypse came.

Granted. It turns out that there is a benevolent God after all, who forgives everyone for their sins and rewards them all with a blissful utopia.

I wish that a massive asteroid like the one that killed the dinosaurs struck the Earth.