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Technically, I have done this before, but I want to try again since my last one was rather forgettable, enough that I don't remember posting it even though the wording sounds exactly like something I'd say, and since it's apparently okay to do more than one, I would assume especially if the last one was over a year ago, and since this is the perfect time for me to do it because I am feeling really confident right now. No idea why. Doesn't happen often, I have a lot of personal problems. Just feeling that way now.

So, hi, for those who don't know me, because I'm new here, far too new to expect any kind of important leadership position or to demand that anyone remember who I am yet, I am Aethelia. Real name Jacqueline. I like colorful things, the moon, amber, puzzles, puppies, singing, and fairness. I dislike crowds, bullies, yelling, failing, myself most of the time, and being called "Red" or "slut". I spend much of my time humming, overthinking things, hiding, and wandering around getting distracted by things. I go by Aethelia because Aetheria was taken, which was a name I tried when I needed to switch NS names years ago. Needed to get away from the rather anti-women NS forums people. Not sure if that has improved since about 5-8 years ago or whenever that was. I hope it has. Apparently I have a lot of interests like politics, video games, and DnD that are considered to be "boy's club" places. It's not my fault. The most important person to me growing up was my older brother, and I wanted to do everything he did back then because I trust him more than anyone else, and he was good at teaching me things, and he never ignored me. I took that a little too far though. I tried to follow his lead in college, but didn't have the talent for what he does, and ended up with a degree I barely got and didn't want. That's part of why I've tried since then to learn a lot of other things. To find my place. I'm not sure if I have done that yet, but at least I know about the Byzantine Empire, how to fix up a car, how to play the harp, how to design a bridge, trilobites, astrophysics, first aid, etc. though not enough to turn any of that into a career. I think part of my problem is not being able to focus well. I feel compelled to try several things at once. Distracts me better. I think I know the cause of that. I had a somewhat life changing event back when I was in high school, to put it as not-negatively as possible. At first I did nothing, and could only think of the pain, but found distraction to get myself away from it. Some healthy... some not so much. I've been through a lot of things and seen a lot of the worst in people. I think all I'm missing is personally witnessing a murder. It has made me somewhat paranoid. I do check behind the shower curtain, I do try to avoid having my back to anyone, and I am constantly worried about what people think about me, though at least I'm not paranoid enough to seek a concealed weapons permit, so it could be worse. I am capable of making friends and when I do I put my complete trust in them. Met some of them through NS. Despite the rather toxic NS main forum, I've been in many regions with good people. I forget if I mentioned it earlier, but Hogwarts was one of them, they introduced me to this region. Good people there, but then everyone left... except Mathyland who ended up here too. I just came back because I saw the LGBT friendly tag. I really appreciate that. I don't know how it is for guys, but I get called a fake both my straight people AND lesbians. You'd think we should all be sticking together, but it doesn't always work out that way... we're supposed to support all of LGBT+, not just the letter we're a part of. I'm not transgender, nor do I even know anyone who is, but I still support their rights. Particularly their right to not be murdered, that seems to be an issue lately, somehow, in 2017. One of many things I feel strongly about. I think I got into equality movements since I have a lot of personal experience with sexism, but I care a lot about racism, and all the other -isms that I know about even I don't experience them. Even starting to learn about ableism recently, that's one that doesn't get mentioned often. Apparently people will come with 100s of reasons to bully people. Doesn't give me much hope, but have to try. There was a time I didn't try and it ended badly for me. Can't go a day without thinking about it. I think a part of me is trapped in the past. Sometimes, I feel like the me from before everything changed is a separate person from me since then. Can't seem to get over it, everything is just different now. At least I have some good memories. I've been thinking a lot about bullying today, and remembered one time I stood up to a bully. I think that's why I feel confident today. If I ever appear completely defeated as if I have no self-esteem, it's probably because some bad memories got stuck my mind. I think I'm controlled by my memories more than an average person. Also, sometimes I get my stories from fantasy novels mixed up with reality, so maybe I'm trying too hard to get away from the bad memories sometimes that I forget what is real.

This has been a good distraction from the bad memories though. I know Wintermoot often asks new or semi-new people what they think of the region. So far, my opinion is mostly positive. Wintermoot himself seems cool and understanding. The guys running the RP's are good at what they do. It's about the right amount of active, I can keep up and read all new posts without the place seeming too inactive. The regional message board isn't too appealing though, I'm staying out of that. I'm more worried what everything thinks of me before I try to be more active myself though. I can't get rid of that thought even at my high point, I'm just brave enough now to admit that I'm worried I won't fit into this region just like the last one I tried, so if anyone wants to say what they think of me, that's just as welcome as asking questions. I want to feel like a confident person, so ask me anything. Even something really private, I'll take it as a challenge. Or really easy questions. Whichever. I won't tell you what to ask. I don't like it when people make other people do things. In real life, I rarely get to say anything, other people talk over me or don't realize I have something to say, even though I never lack for things that I want to say. I hope this was long enough to give material to ask about, though questions don't have to be about anything I said. I just think these make more sense with a starting point included. Also, I worry people think I'm weird, so I try to explain my actions when needed so others understand and I won't seem weird anymore, since my thought process is probably different from that of normal people.

There's more I can think of to say, but perhaps that's long enough for now, I got carried away and didn't want to stop. Ask me anything!

What's your favourite song?

American spelling or everywhere else spelling?

Why "Red," and why don't you like it?

Hey there!

I have to admit that I I don't know you really well, but I likewise think that you're cool (thanks for the kind words btw =]), and I think this community can help you alot, just in being a place that you can maybe let your guard down a little, relax, and be yourself. I think it's a good sign that you were able to post this...maybe it shows you're already getting more comfortable here.

I'm honestly not sure how gender issues are being handled as a whole, but last year we sent a delegation to the Women and NationStates Symposium in Europeia, where there was a lot of discussion about the experiences women have had in the game and how regions can better support women. As for the LGBTQ thing, I think it's just as gay rights have progressed, some gay people are kinda like 'I got mine, fuck you'...it's not cool at all, but I think that's how some people just are. =/

Really private, huh? That's quite a challenge given the type of content this community dwells in. You're aware of that, right?

I've got a couple for ya, so "Incoming!"

I saw you mentioned you're a fan of video games, what's your favourite genre, and what platform do you normally use?

What is your favourite fantasy universe? And which of the fantasy universes you've been exposed to would you most want to live in?

Cats or Dogs, or both?

Finally to round things out. What would you do if someone offered you a million dollars, it's completely legal money no shady nonsense. Would you take the money? And if so what would you do with it?

Also I'm Fortis a local aspiring writer and lurker of this forum, nice to meet you Aethelia 

What's your favourite song?

Can't decide. It switches too often. At the moment, I'm listening to Tir na nOg and other songs by Celtic Woman, even if I'm jealous that I can't sing that well, before that there were times when my favorite songs were Frozen by Madonna, Stranger by Hilary Duff, various songs by Ayumi Hamasaki, some unpronouncible song in the Bhaṅgṛā music genre, and before that some song I forgot the name of by Leah. My music interests may be somewhat varied depending on my mood.

American spelling or everywhere else spelling?

Mixed. "Color" over "colour", similar for other words that have -our like that, and "centre" is just silly when no words that rhyme with "center" end in "tre", it's all "ter". However, defence and offence look better with a c than an s, and travelling and fuelling should have two "l"s because that's how they're pronounced, so the American spelling gets those wrong in my opinion.

Spelling aside though, the USA definitely needs to switch to the metric system. Both for consistency, and because the Imperial system is ridiculous, especially for distance and volume, though Fahrenheit doesn't bother me much.

Why "Red," and why don't you like it?

I have red hair. And I think that's all a lot of people see or remember me for. A long time ago, there were people who didn't even bother calling me by my name. I was just "Red" to them. I didn't like it. I am not just the person with red hair, there's a lot more to me than that. A lot of it isn't good, but I'd still prefer to be known badly for my choices and experiences than to be known for a physical characteristic I didn't choose. Doesn't help that not long after that I was old enough to understand how people like me get fetishized. Now if anyone else were to call me that, or say anything else that shows that that's all they know about me and they don't really care about who I am or what my name is, then I know they're just creeps who have "red haired girl" on their creep checklist and I need to avoid talking to them or being alone with them.

Also, I prefer it when people say my name right anyway. Jacqueline, with three syllables. Not the Frenchie way of saying it, "Jhock-LEEN", that sounds like the person is choking on the first syllable and it's completely wrong and I hate it. If there are only two syllables, it had better be because they're saying Jackie, that's an officially accepted short version of "Jah-qua-lynn"/"Jack-uh-lynn". Very important. Doesn't really apply here, online, but I am incapable of letting it go irl if someones gets it wrong who isn't otherwise too intimidating looking to correct.

Also, I prefer it when people say my name right anyway.

No love for Jay Quellin?

I saw you mentioned you're a fan of video games, what's your favorite genre, and what platform do you normally use?

I can rule out shooter and sports games immediately. RPG's often have great stories, I like that. The problem with those though is that their length means I can miss things, or make mistakes that make the rest of the game hard and frustrating. I don't like having to use an immersion breaking guide with spoilers just to get the full experience. That's why I'm considering classic platformer and puzzle games as my favorite. The stories aren't as interesting on average, but I think I like it that if you mess up, you lose at most about 2 minutes of your time instead of 20 hours. I hate making mistakes so a game type where mistakes don't matter much and you can just try again and again appeals to me. Doesn't further answer the question, but I think what has always appealed to me about video games is that I can get a feeling of accomplishment without the risk of making mistakes in front of others, being able to get a feeling of accomplishment and self worth without getting up on a stage or anything like if I sing in front of people. This is part of why I don't spend more time in the MMORPG or DOTA-like genres, I like having support roles in those because it makes me feel useful and needed, but I don't handle people yelling at me very well when they need someone to blame when something goes wrong.
I've always preferred Nintendo, except perhaps for what I believe was the high point for Playstations, the Playstation 2. By the time of PS3, everything I wanted was on Steam anyway, so it was useless. So now I just do Nintendo for the exclusives and Steam for everything else.

What is your favorite fantasy universe? And which of the fantasy universes you've been exposed to would you most want to live in?

A tough one... unfortunate that the basis of many fantasy universes is "Basically medieval, but something is about to destroy the world", especially when sexism is a big part of medieval stuff.
I can tell you it's not the one you might guess: Even though I'm a Ravenclaw, second choice Hufflepuff, and very into Harry Potter, I can't get over a few things: 1. "Love Potions" are just date rape drugs. And they're legal. And sold freely. Or anyone can make one. But not everyone can detect one. I've been messed up for over a decade since the day I was raped. Guess how all of this makes me feel. 2. I would never want to go to Hogwarts with their point system. I don't know if the author knows anyone with low self-esteem, but the moment the book mentioned that someone can lose points for their house, I thought about how I would react if I were responsible for losing even one point. I'd feel so bad. I'd worry that everyone hated me. If I had any friends I'd worry I'd lose them. I'd be afraid to go to class. Maybe end up in the Room of Requirement as I'd be afraid to go back to the common room. And there would be poison there. I wouldn't make it past my first year. 3. There are far too many ways to bully someone with magic. Some side-protagonists made a shop for joke magic, that if I were targeted by any of their products, I would feel so embarrassed and even more paranoid, and nobody seems to think it's wrong. I don't know how that magic world functions and things didn't escalate into war or devolve into barbarity sooner. D. And if you're not a witch or wizard? Hope the "good" magic people keep that leash on those invisible stalkers that suck out souls, since you can't do anything about those. The Harry Potter world sounds awful, I'd rather be in the Matrix where I can pretend everything is okay at least.
Others that are out are Oz, Narnia, Warhammer, Middle-Earth, and Westoros, though I don't feel strongly about those and some of those might be alright if I had a position of power.
I think it's between Randland of the Wheel of Time series, and Dungeons and Dragons. Forgotten Realms may be too dangerous, maybe Eberron or one of the others. I do like to pretend I could be a Bard or Sorceress/Enchantress in DnD.

Cats or Dogs, or both?

If I could afford it and thought I could do it, I'd want both. I think puppies and kitties are cute, just like any normal human with normal human emotions, but am afraid I'm not good at taking care of others. My experience being a single mother has taught me that I really shouldn't be responsible for the livelihood of another living being. Or my own, I can't even take care of myself, getting new issues when I haven't even taken care of my issues that I had a decade ago. I think I'll just rely on videos of cute kitties and puppies, and on saying "Kitty!/Puppy!" when I see a stray cat or someone walking their dog.

Finally to round things out. What would you do if someone offered you a million dollars, it's completely legal money no shady nonsense. Would you take the money? And if so what would you do with it?

First, thank you for specifying that money offer is legal and non-shady. Either you already know me well enough to know that I'd be immediately suspicious of any seemingly really good offer because that just doesn't happen to me, or in some way you think similarly to me to think to specify that and that's good too, maybe.
Second... not that I expect anyone to stop saying the word "round" around me because that would be an unreasonable request/expectation, but the phrase "round things out" just makes me think about societie's double standards on what people should look like... and about how in some ways I didn't round out and that's good somehow, and in other ways I didn't round out much and that's bad somehow, and it's confusing and has resulted in a lot of lost sleep and worry over time about my appearance.
Okay now: Yes, I can't decline that kind of money. Though I understand I'd have to be careful with it. No big jewelry, no fancy car, nothing that will make me a target, nothing that will result in suspicion. The boring answer is that I would pay off debt first. After that, start doing the things I've wanted to do if I weren't in debt... start small, I just want to be able to go out to restaurants and not have to worry about if I can afford that after rent. Some things I need around the home, another bookshelf, a pantry, maybe a bike. I suppose the most exciting thing I'm thinking is that Disney World would be nice, I want to spend a week there, do everything I can. A longer trip to the homeland would be tempting, maybe I could visit Ireland with my American accent and see how that goes.
I probably could have had a much better answer in my college years, I'm too adult now to think of anything too fun, I just expect money to make my life more stable, with occasional fun things.

Also I'm Fortis a local aspiring writer and lurker of this forum, nice to meet you Aethelia 

Nice to meet you too. I admit I haven't looked much at the writing forum yet since my first impression was that the posts were long and it would be hard to catch up on reading them, and that I had little to contribute, but I'll look into that later.
Nothing wrong with lurking though, I find that information gathering is important in social interaction, in real life and online. Sometimes, thinking of what to say takes too much thought, and leaving that part out allows full focus on learning about other people.

I'm honestly not sure how gender issues are being handled as a whole, but last year we sent a delegation to the Women and NationStates Symposium in Europeia, where there was a lot of discussion about the experiences women have had in the game and how regions can better support women.

Did not know that that was a thing... should have participated in that, I have some strong opinions on the subject.

As for the LGBTQ thing, I think it's just as gay rights have progressed, some gay people are kinda like 'I got mine, fuck you'...it's not cool at all, but I think that's how some people just are. =/

I should have known, it's that ugly capitalist mindset that has ruined it, always have to be in it for ourselves or however that goes... "Have to look out for #1" is the cliche I usually think of. I think it's really slowing down progress. The anti-rights people seem a lot more united. Apparently hate is good at doing that.

Really private, huh? That's quite a challenge given the type of content this community dwells in. You're aware of that, right?

I'm uncertain what you mean about the content. Unsure if this is one of those situations where I'm so jaded by experience that I don't even notice something that might be extreme for normal people.
But since I know I'm not happy staying private, I tried it and it felt empty, it seemed safe to come out to a community I figured would be more understanding. Seeing many other bisexual people, even if not many bisexual women, was promising. I am somewhat afraid of men irl, and wouldn't want to be in a room full of them alone irl, but with so many being bisexual, I know it's safer here, because bi guys are less likely to just dismiss me as a sexual object, or at least won't see me one any more than each other, so it's not all on me. Probably also less likely to call me a slut, I don't know if bi guys get that much, maybe you have problems I don't have to deal with, but I don't think I'll be judging you badly for that at least so I think that'll work both ways. For whatever we all have to go through though, that understanding helps a lot. Nice to not have to hide it. Or have anyone deny what I am when I reveal it.

Also, I prefer it when people say my name right anyway.

No love for Jay Quellin?

What is this blasphemy. Ow. Now my head hurts.

Whenever I hear the nickname "Red" I can only think of the main character from Red Dead Revolver

"Red" only makes me think of Red from Orange is the New Black.


On that topic, are you a fan of television shows, Netflix or otherwise? If so, what is your favorite genre?

What is this blasphemy. Ow. Now my head hurts.

Hey, Key and Peele is the shit.

And realistically, I'd argue that Forgotten Realms (and most D&D worlds in general really) are arguably safer than 'real life' late medieval times, mostly because high-level spellcasters are, if not ubiquitous, then at least present in major cities (especially if you consider the availability of clerics in major cities to just cast spells willy-nilly), meaning that you have at least nominal access to Cure Disease/Restoration type spells, or even Raise Dead. Not to mention the utility of Create Water spells when water might be dubious at best, the use of Animated Objects to keep cities clean and golems to keep them safe, and the potential for fairly ubiquitous teleportation (thereby eliminating the risks associated with travel) if the wizards start getting smart and slapping down Permanent Teleportation Circles.
Sure, your risk of death is way higher if you're an adventurer, but you can have a safe, reasonably well-paid life in a city as a first-level character with adventurer levels just by taking a Profession and doing that every week for at least a couple GP a week.
Thanks, RAW!

Spelling aside though, the USA definitely needs to switch to the metric system. Both for consistency, and because the Imperial system is ridiculous, especially for distance and volume, though Fahrenheit doesn't bother me much.

Minor nitpick. The Imperial system is the British one. The US uses the Customary system. They are different (yay for strange and archaic measurement systems).

I was sure I heard or saw somewhere that the USA uses the Imperial system, I blame whoever said/wrote that for not properly informing me that the US way of doing it gets a different name, didn't know about that.

I was sure I heard or saw somewhere that the USA uses the Imperial system, I blame whoever said/wrote that for not properly informing me that the US way of doing it gets a different name, didn't know about that.

You'll also see both systems referred to under the umbrella term "English System," thought that term refers more specifically to the older system of measurements that led to both the Imperial and US Customary Systems.