View Topic

I've used it, didn't like it way to many guys just want to hookup, I'm not into meeting strange guys lol who are like 50+(when I used it I was 21 stopped using it at 21 lol) and they are mostly clean shaven lol I like a man with a beard but alas at 22 I did find someone who's got a great beard would like to be his bf but I don't think it will happen anytime soon

I've used it, didn't like it way to many guys just want to hookup, I'm not into meeting strange guys lol who are like 50+(when I used it I was 21 stopped using it at 21 lol) and they are mostly clean shaven lol I like a man with a beard but alas at 22 I did find someone who's got a great beard would like to be his bf but I don't think it will happen anytime soon

Got a crush on a hetero?

Got a crush on a hetero?

no he's bi, we have sex

I still use it on occasion.  There have been times where I've considered deleting it, but I do occasionally run into some decent guys that end up making me decide to keep it a bit longer.

Really, there's no good gay dating apps out there for just gay men. Gay.com, A4A, Grindr, Scruff...either they started off with good intentions and then spiraled into just being all about hookups (Gay.com, Grindr), or they made a thinly veiled attempt at being a dating site when really they just wanted to be a hookup site all along (A4A, Scruff).

There's obscure ones like Surge, Clover, and some other relatively unknown ones out there...but nobody every uses those.  And going to the bar really isn't that much better, since gay bars are generally just real life Grindr, but with booze and music.

Really, I feel like I have to settle with PoF and OkCupid since I get more worthwhile conversations on those...and those aren't even exclusively gay dating sites; they were made to be all encompassing regardless of who you were (OkCupid especially).

But like I said, I do get the occasional good message on Grindr, but they're very few and far between...usually drowned out by guys wanting purely to hook up and either A) can't speak full sentences to save their life, B) say anything you want to hear just so you'll hook up with them, C) come across so clingy/desperate that it becomes creepy, or D) suffer "time-lapse disease" (meaning they respond very slowly and will occasionally just not respond at all until the next day, even though they're online for a good while).

But the good ones make me want to keep it for a longer...same goes for Scruff, even though it suffers the same problem.

Chris and I recently made a joint grindr that's on my phone. It's been an interesting experience. Most of the guys on there are pretty obviously looking to get paid but after I let em know we wanna get to know em first they cool off and most are more than happy to chat and get to know us. We've only met one guy in person and it was pretty fun. We hang out now and again. Maybe it's just our attitude and approach that's giving us a different outcome though. We're in no hurry to meet or hook up with anyone and we already have eachother so the misses don't seem all that disappointing when it comes down to it.

I reinstalled it last week, to see if there was anyone new around...same people, same experience. I don't even usually bother to reply back anymore. v_v

I also use grommr, where I got to talking with two people. One who lives about an hour away almost immediately started talking about meeting up for sex, and I never replied back once it got to that point. The other started out promising, but within days he was telling me that we should get together and that I was the "right man for him" when a week ago he didn't even know I existed. Ugh, desperation much? I didn't exactly say no, but I did tell him that I thought he was trying to move way too fast and that we should get to know each other first, and I haven't heard from him since. Guess I wasn't the right man for him after all.

It's a good thing I'm not actually looking for a boyfriend on these apps...I'm sure I'd be really depressed by now if I were, lol.

A few months back I briefly chatted with this one guy. He was looking for friends, wasn't really into sex, so that stood out to me. We chatted a few times, but nothing ever came of it though I kept him on my favoruites. Fast forward to now, and I just noticed he's removed his real picture from his profile, changed his weight from 340 to 180, and is apparently trying to trade pics with people.

Pretty damn pathetic that he cares so little for the people he's trying to get nudes from that he's going to lie to them to get them, but it's hardly unusual for grindr I guess. =/

Him: Got a pic?
Me: lol, you might be disappointed, I'm not all that hot
Him: Try me
Me: *sends pic*
Him: *blocks*

Can't say I didn't warn him.

And that is why I stay off Grindr.

Eh, I recognize that I'm not attractive to most people and that I'm not going to find anything I really want on a hookup app. I don't even message anyone on it, everyone I talked to messages me and in this case I decided to humour him by replying. I post these things because I think they're funny, lol.

So I've been reading online about the CEO of Asian entertainment during grindr for allowing sexual racism.
What are peoples thoughts on this? Is sexual preference based on race a form of racism? Should people who have those holdups be banned from the platform?

So I've been reading online about the CEO of Asian entertainment during grindr for allowing sexual racism.
What are peoples thoughts on this? Is sexual preference based on race a form of racism? Should people who have those holdups be banned from the platform?

I mean, though totally discounting potential partners is in my opinion bad in bad taste and denying oneself lots of great possible options, I don't think that anyone really has the right to 'demand' that X,Y or Z person be forced to date them, because partner choice is a really complex process that is insanely personal. 

That being said, perpetuating racist sexual stereotypes on public platforms by companies (which this might be?  I'm note entirely sure what the above story is completely) is not something that I think should be encouraged/allowed.  It creates unhealthy expectations/creates false narratives, etc. 

But everyone has their own preferences, especially in things as personal as this, so I think banning individuals based on their preferences (if fairly applied to all users) would ban everyone from the platform, because everyone has this or that thing that they aren't looking for.  But again, I definitely don't think companies should do things that perpetuate racial sexual preference stereotypes on the platform (ie no filters for it, and no encouraging it in advertising, on-platform or otherwise).  Does this distinction I'm making make sense or nah?

Also would be curious what others think there, too...

It's not just race-based discrimination...how many profiles say no fats, no fems, no old people etc?

It sucks...it sucks that people build these boundaries and don't allow their tastes and preferences to grow and expand. Once upon a time when I was young I was only into white twink sort of guys, but as I met and got into different kinds of people and explored different things, my tastes expanded along with it. And it's awesome to be into a variety of things, things never get boring that way, lol. If grindr as a platform could find a way to encourage that sort of exploration, I'd be all for it.

But I don't think that banning people for being closed-minded about it is going to do any good, in fact it'd probably just entrench their mindset by making them feel like a victim for having a preference. I also don't think it's a platform's place to judge whether a user's opinion is right or wrong to have, even if I personally don't agree with that opinion, unless it leads to behaviour that's harassing, threatening, defamatory, or is otherwise directly abusive (flaming, trolling, etc.).

But then again, I don't think you can enforce real change, because real change requires opening hearts and minds, and how can you do that by being heavy-handed?

I mean...everyone has their type that follows their ideal that they're most likely to fall for.

That being said, I don't agree with how people word the types they're not into.  The whole "no fats/fems" comes to mind for me as well on that.

Sure, I'm into guys that are a bit more masculine and yes, I'm more attracted to guys of a certain body type, I won't deny that.  But I also say in detailed sites (like okcupid) that it's strictly preferential and not against them.  Just because they might not be my type doesn't mean they aren't someone else's, and nobody should ever think they're nothing short of beautiful.

The wording I see in profiles is completely shutting them down entirely and not giving a chance to even make a new friend.  It's profiles like those that I avoid like the plague because it goes past simple preference and goes into borderline judgmental behavior.

It's one thing to go into it saying "I tend to like/prefer," as opposed to "I only talk to people that are" or "don't message me if you're" followed by that dreadful list.

Call me cold, call me privileged. But I think people are just way to sensitive about this shit. Its grindr. It's a hookup. I've been turned down plenty of times based on me being "fat" or "femme". I get over it. I'm not gonna look down on someone for what or who they wanna sleep with. And personally I appreciate the openness. I think it's silly how far people are taking this whole sensitivity thing. No one should be made to feel lesser but at the same time people shouldn't be taking anything on grindr so seriously that it affects their sense of self worth.